Tag: pretence

I’d Never See You Again

If I revealed

The truth about me

It would shatter the illusion

Now, I know you’d say

You wouldn’t care anyway

But I couldn’t deal with the conclusion

For Our Own Good

You never
see the
worst of
my illness
because
I hide it
from you

For you
to know
the truth
about me
would
completely
tear me
in two

So I’ll
paint
on a
smile and
pretend
that I’m
fine

For
doing so
protects
both
your
sanity
and mine

(Originally Posted 25.10.2019)

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Changing Your Tune

We can all claim

To be considerate and kind

To look after each other

In both heart and mind

But what I have found

If the truth be told

Is that people only care

When you’re dead and cold

Harsh Truth

It can
be a
hard
lesson
to learn

When
you’re
at the
point of
no return

That
nobody
actually
gives
a shit

Whether
you decide
to stay
or
end it

(Originally Posted 12.10.2019)

2

Obsequious

I kow you’re out there

Selling your story

Accepting sympathy

Basking in glory

But remember I know

Those who dance to your tune

All know, deep down,

The truth about you

(Prick)ing At Your Conscience

Think
whatever
you
want
about
me

Speak
shit
to
whoever
will
listen

But
believe
me
when
I say

I
won’t
ever
rue
the
day

That
you
created
this
division

(Originally Posted 02.10.2020)

4

Putting It Politely

I looked you up

On Facebook

And see you all

Still play that game

Hiding behind

Fake smiles and lies

The pretence

Still the same

Now you’ve heard me say

I walked away

And I’m infinitely glad

I did

As if I had to pose

In any more those photos

I fear by now

I’d have flipped my lid

Picture Perfect

Continue to enjoy

Your sweet little lives

And act as you see fit

I’m just relieved

I no longer suffer

The toxicity that lies

Beneath it

(Originally Posted 20.07.20)

7

Still A Worthy Actress

Still here

Still play-acting

And still, no one has noticed

Pretence

People are easy to fool, I find, on the whole.

They are so wrapped up in themselves they don’t notice me standing there, amongst them, pretending to be happy…

(Originally Posted 29.03.2019)

14

#14 The Ballerina

You sit and admire my beauty

As you gently applaud my grace

Yet my feet are bleeding

And I’m not eating

All for that smile on your face

9

Artifice

You might be pretty

On the outside

But you’re sure as shit

Ugly within

If only your

Personality

Was as radient

As your skin

23

Under Duress

So I’m
coming to
your house
today

As it
seems
I have
no choice

But to endure
three hours
of awkward
pretence

And your
fucking
awful
voice

If only
I could
just say
no

Then all
of this
would
end

Instead I’ll
turn up
with a
smile

And fake
being
your best
friend

(Originally Posted 15.09.2019)

32

Janus

I know you better

Than I know myself

So please stop trying

To be someone else

9

The Bake Sale

Bringing
along
your
flask of
coffee

And
your
frosted
homemade
cake

Doesn’t
make you
any more
likeable

Or any
less
fucking
fake

37

The Self Pity Party

So many nights I’ve cried,

Feeling dead inside,

Whilst wrestling with my neurosis.

I can’t help but discern,

Despite all your supposed care and concern,

That you haven’t even noticed.

8

The Struggle

When you see me, you see the finished article.

Washed, dressed, hair in place, make up on and a smile on my face.

But you don’t see what it takes to get there.

You don’t see me trying to muster the strength to open my eyes in the morning.

You don’t see me forcing my weary bones out of bed.

You don’t see me berating myself as I sob in the shower.

You don’t see me looking in the mirror as I question whether or not today is the day.

You don’t see me wracked with indecision on what to wear.

You don’t see me soothing my pain as I twist and pull out my hair.

You don’t see me apply make up in the hope it makes me disappear.

You don’t see me riddled with anxiety as I lurk in the doorway.

You don’t see me breathing deeply before finally pushing open the office door.

When you see me, you see the finished article.

But just because you don’t see the struggle, doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.

Just because you see me smile, it doesn’t mean it’s real.

How I look, is not how I feel.

18

Another Day…

Another day of pretence dawns,

And my heart is full of dread.

Another chasm in my mind yawns,

And I wish that I was dead.

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