Survival

This
ain’t
my first
rodeo

And it
won’t
be my
last

As
there’s
always a
change

I
can
undergo

To
keep
myself
intact


‘And The Academy Award Goes To…’

You’re
no fun
anymore

He
said

What
happened
to you
my friend?

I was
never
fun
before

She
said

All of
that
was
just
pretend

(Originally Posted 14.12.2020)

The Mask

I have just gone back

To pretending now

Convincing you that I

Am worth it, somehow

I’ve worked too hard

To let it go to waste

As this persona has taken

A lifetime to create


The Truth

If you
knew
the
truth
about me

You
would
run
away
and hide

You
wouldn’t
waste
another
minute

On
someone
so
rotten
inside

(Originally Posted 13.09.2019)

Especially At Work

I used to hide

So much back then

I’m amazed I got through the day

Reading this I remember

How exhausted I was

Pretending that I was okay


Secret Anxiety

Sickness grows

Frustration shows

Conversation slows

But no one knows

(Originally Posted 28.09.2019)

For My Own Good

I was pretending

So much back then

I should have known

Things would soon go tits up

In fact I’m amazed

Given how I behaved

No one thought to lock me up


Apathy & Deception

How the
fuck am
I going
to get
through
today
when I
can’t even
open my
eyes?

Why the
fuck am
I even
bothering
today
when
my life
is just
a myriad
of lies?

(Originally Posted 30.07.2019)

Wednesday 8pm

So I’m back
home now,
after that
shit show

Only two
more days
of pretending
to go

Then it’s
the weekend,
so I’ll be free
to lament

And avoid
all people,
to my hearts
content


Wednesday 2.30am (Pt 1)

I can’t even
bear the thought
of what’s to
come tomorrow

No doubt
it’ll just be
more misery
and sorrow

Perhaps I’d
be better
off staying
in bed

Then I might
just escape
the thoughts
in my head

(Originally Posted 17.07.2019)


Wednesday 11am (Pt 2)

So I managed,
in the end,
to get out of bed

And it’s been
shit so far,
just as I predicted

It seems I was right,
I should never
have tried

For I’ll never
escape this
pain inside

(Originally Posted 17.07.2019)

The Cliché Continues

Still here

Still pretending

Still living

With grief unending


Sick & Tired

And
so
begins
another
day

Where
I pretend
every
thing
is ok

If
only
there
was
another
way

As I
hate
being
such a
fucking
cliché

(Originally Posted 14.04.2020)

Money Talks

Don’t just fucking humour me
She said
Actually listen to what I’m saying

But my job is to indulge you
He said
Isn’t that why you’re paying?

On Borrowed Time

You can sit there all you want

My friend

Picking at your thumbs

But you and I know

How this will end

When the day of reckoning comes

The End Of The Road

Pretending gets tiring

After a while

So in the end you stop

With no cylinders left firing

And an inibility to smile

It’s back up to that rooftop

Sick & Tired

And
so
begins
another
day

Where
I pretend
every
thing
is ok

If
only
there
was
another
way

As I
hate
being
such a
fucking
cliché

Cardiac Arrest

My heart
has been
aching
all day

Nothing
has made
the pain
go away

Perhaps
this will
finally be
the end

And I’ll
no longer
have to
pretend

The Truth

If you
knew
the
truth
about me

You
would
run
away
and hide

You
wouldn’t
waste
another
minute

On
someone
so
rotten
inside

Good Enough

So I’m good enough
to speak to today?

Now all your friends
have gone away?

Well I’ll hold my tongue
and try to be nice.

But you’ll find my lenience
will come at a price.

Apathy & Deception

How the
fuck am
I going
to get
through
today
when I
can’t even
open my
eyes?

Why the
fuck am
I even
bothering
today
when
my life
is just
a myriad
of lies?

Apologies

I’m sorry I act like I don’t care,

I’m sorry it seems like I’m rarely there.

I’m sorry it looks like I don’t even try,

I’m sorry that you’ve never see me cry.

I’m sorry I never appear in a hurry,

I’m sorry I always make you worry.

I’m sorry I can’t be who you want me to be.

But most of all I’m just sorry for being me.

How Are You?

It’s easier to say I’m alright, rather then I’m anxious.

It’s easier to say I’m okay, rather than I’m outraged.

It’s easier to say I’m better, rather than I’m broken.

It’s easier to say I’m good, rather than I’m grieving.

It’s easier to say I’m well, rather than I’m wasted.

It’s easier to say I’m fine, rather than I’m fucked.

The Act

I can act like I’m happy,

I can act like I’m there.

I can act like I’m over it,

I can act like I care.

But it’s all to avoid having to admit,

That I’m just really fucking scared of life.

Without you.

Up ↑