"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
It’s not that I’m inconsiderate
Or incapable of being kind
But when I’m surrounded by idiots
I just have to speak my mind
Never A Truer Word (Unspoken)
“If you haven’t got anything nice to say,
Don’t say anything at all.”
*Silence*
(Originally Posted 15.02.2020)
I know what you did
That day
How you made sure
Your pain
Stopped
Were You Afraid Of Dying?
It
was
awful
to see
you
waste
away
Neither
of us
knowing
why
Now
my
only
hope
Is
you
are
smoking
dope
At
that
great
gig in
the
sky
Xxx
(Originally Posted 07.09.2020)
I don’t
know
what you
expected
You knew
something
inside me
had changed
It wasn’t
just your
advances
I rejected
It was
from
everyone
I abstained
Robotic
Take
that
look
off
your
face
You
can
hardly
be
surprised
You
know
my heart
cannot
race
And
I’m
dead
behind
the
eyes
(Originally Posted 04.08.2020)
I can tell
That there are posts
I’ve written to please
An audience
But there are a few
That make me freeze
As the pain I was in
Is obvious
It’s The Small Things That Hurt The Most
How long does it take
To reach for one mug
Or only set out one plate
To programme the heating
To click on at six
Instead of doing it myself at eight
To only buy
One pint of milk
Or get one lottery ticket
To stop saying hello
As I enter the house
Because you
Are no longer in it
(Originally Posted 14.05.2020)
Was it real
Was it true?
Or was it just
My version of you?
Ambiguity
Is
it
real
What
you
see?
Or
is it
just
Your
version
of me?
(Originally Posted 27.04.2020)
I don’t feel you with me anymore
When you’ve always been in my heart
I mean I know that you’re dead, sure
As your cancer tore us apart
But lately I’ve been missing you
When I never used to have to look
I’m beginning to think I imagined you
Like a character from a book
I need you to show me something
Just give me a little sign
That our connection still exists, somehow,
And I’m not losing my mind
It doesn’t matter what method you choose
And I’m not too fussed about when
I just need you to do it
As I cannot lose you again
Just
I don’t really want to die.
At least I don’t think I do.
I just want the pain to stop.
Every day is a battle I have less and less desire to fight.
Every day is an experience I have less and less desire to enjoy.
Every day is a puzzle I have less and less desire to complete.
I just want that spark back.
I just want you back.
I just want you.
(Originally Posted 11.04.2019)
Ultimately,
You’ll find,
None of this shit matters.
You can wear
Flowers in your hair
Use your words
So elegantly
But it matters not
I couldn’t care a jot
For you’ll always be ugly
To me
I know it’s not
For the faint of heart
But it helps me
Every day
So just deal with it
Or not
As I’m not arsed
Either way
In the beginning
I would always try
To be as honest as I could be
But in the end I fell
So far from the truth
That the line was a dot to me
It’s
only
now
I dream
of
you
Now
that
you
are
dead
If
only
you
were
still
here
And
not
just
inside
my
head
Xxx
I
wish
you
were
here
with
me
But
instead
I’m
all
alone
If
only
you
would
write
a letter
Or
call
me on
the
phone
It
would
be so
wonderful
to facetime
Or
if
you
texted
me
instead
But
I know
you
won’t
do any
of these
You
can’t
Because
you’re
dead
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 