Although you’re glad to have me back,
Eating those chips will give me a heart attack!
I can’t sit in front of the telly all day,
For I fear my brain will waste away.
I don’t want a pint at the Working Men’s Club –
How about we cycle to a gastropub?
I don’t remember Elsie from next door but two,
Even if you are convinced I do.
And I don’t want any more tea,
Unless it’s ceylon, roiboos or elderberry.
You see when I moved away,
I left all of this without a care.
And now when I’m forced to come back here,
I am embarrassed beyond compare.