"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
My heart aches just
That little bit more
As I read this
With a sigh
Remembering the time
With your hand in mine
Crying
We said goodbye
Xxx
‘Everything Must Go’
Don’t
say
anything
else
He
said
Please,
just
hold
my
hand
I’ll
stay
until
we
reach
She
said
Our
line in
the
sand
(Originally Posted 07.02.2020)
Those oceans feel
A little calmer now
As those days
Have passed me by
So from here
I’ll just tread water
Hoping for help
Before I die
The Drowning Girl
Tears
run into
oceans
Hours
bleed into
days
As I go
through
the motions
Trapped
between
the waves
(Originally Posted 21.01.2021)
Even if I wanted
To get up
And seize the day
It’s far too cold
For one so old
Outside anyway
Anhedonic
Trying
hard
to
survive
This
thing
called
life
Hoping
to fend
off the
madness
Striving
to find
Some peace
of mind
Underneath
this
duvet of
sadness
(Originally Posted 06.01.2020)
You think that when
Someone dies
It’s the big things
That you’ll miss
But what causes pain
To grieving brain
Is missing the small things
That they did
Even A Broken Clock Is Right Twice A Day
I can’t
even
change
The time
on the
oven
It’s just
one more
thing
I have
discovered
Since
you’ve
gone
(Originally Posted 04.01.2020)
All those years
Spent with you
Silently
Being driven mad
But there’s no denying
(So it’s pointless trying)
That they were the best
I’ve ever had
Taking Things For Granted
I always
thought
being
with you
was hell
Seems
the boredom
of being
without you
is worse
Xxx
(Originally Posted 03.01.2022)
I still loved you
Down to your bones
Even without
Those dulcet tones
Xxx
Robbed
I wish
you
could
have
spoken
Right
at
the
very
end
I’ll
miss
that
sound
forever
The
voice
of my
best
friend
(Originally Posted 03.01.2020)
I know you put
A brave face on
I know as I did it
Myself
Not just because
You’re thinking of others
But more to protect
Yourself
Are You Okay?
I want to ask
But I’m far too scared
For I already know
As into those depths
I’ve stared
(Originally Posted 02.01.2020)
It’ll most likely be
Like the last four
Wondering what the fuck
I stuck around for
20/20
However
will I
make it
through
Another
year
without
you?
(Originally Posted 31.12.2019)
Of course I remember
How it feels
Down to the very last letter
But it wouldn’t matter
What I tried
Nothing can make it better
Utterly Helpless
I really wish
I could do more
Like pick you up
from the bathroom floor
Hug you when
your heart is breaking
Give you comfort
when your bones are aching
But for as much as
your pain to me is known
This is a journey
you must walk alone
(Originally Posted 27.12.2019)
There was nothing else
That I could do
Nothing else
That I could say
Other than
To remind them all
That it’s just
Another day
Brutal Honesty
I wish
I could
take
Your
pain
away
Tell
you
everything
Will
be
okay
But
I know
the truth
It
doesn’t
get
better
When
what
you had
Is lost
forever
(Originally Posted 27.12.2019)
I can’t
wait to
go home
This year
I just wish
you were
coming
with me
Xxx
(Originally Posted 24.12.2019)
‘When you’re used
Bruised
Black and blued
Don’t think about it
Never doubt it
I’ll walk beside you…’
“Come away, O human child!
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
For the world’s more full of
weeping than you can
understand.”
– W. B Yeats
Reading this one back again
I feel so sorry for her
Clearly she lost more,
When he died,
Than her words could ever infer
I Can’t Bring You Back Though, Can I?
I can look at your photo
I can whisper your name
I can press your shirt
Against my face
But nothing feels the same
(Originally Posted 11.12.2020)
I gave away
Your boots today
To a charity shop
For next time I know
I’ll be walking alone
All along that rugged hilltop
Gone For Good
What I have lost
Can’t be replaced
For our footsteps
Can’t be retraced
(Originally Posted 10.12.2019)
They were all hoping
The blues would fade
But they were unaware
My decision was made
Rope
I know
I can’t
do this
anymore
My soul
is heavy
and my
heart
is sore
I feel
the relief
in every
pore
As I walk
along
to the
hardware
store
(Originally Posted 06.12.2019)
I can clean it with antiseptic
He said
And cover it with a plaster
It won’t make any difference
She said
It’s still a fucking disaster
Bleeding
It feels
like I’ve
been
robbed,
she said,
Of the
only
love
in my
life
This
pain
just
runs
so deep,
she sobbed,
As it
cuts
through me
like a
knife
(Originally Posted 05.12.2019)
I think we both knew
Deep down
That she would soon
Become another
That you’d be left
A husband bereft
And your kids
Without their mother
Now I know
That she had longer
And to her death
You had all faced up
Still it pains me so much
To see you
In the Under 50’s
Widow’s club
The News Nobody Wants
I hope
it all
goes well
today
I hope
with
all my
heart
For I
couldn’t
bear
for you
To live
as I
now do
And
have
your lives
torn apart
(Originally Posted 28.11.2019)
A tale of love
Unrequited,
Ever so sad
Yet I’m secretly
Delighted
To have experienced it.
Otherwise,
How would I have known?
‘You Can’t Always Get What You Want’
It’s not you
It’s not me
It’s just the way
It has to be
(Originally Posted 21.11.2020)
When I think over
These last few years
I really have suffered a lot
So my house may well
Now be up for sale
But my heart definitely is not
Home Sweet Home
They say
you can
never go
home
again
And I’m
starting
to believe
that’s
true
For all
that resides
here now
is a world
of pain
And
far too
many
memories
of you
(Originally Posted 17.11.2019)
That day
Still comes
Every year
Despite
My avoidance
As it
Draws near
One Year Ago
If I
just
don’t
think
about
it
Then
maybe
that
day
won’t
come
I’m
just
not
sure
I can
face it
When
all
is
said
and
done
(Originally Posted 11.11.2019)
‘Love is a losing game
One I wished I never played
Oh what a mess we made…’
Three years on
And here I am
Having been kept waiting
With my life on hold
My heart stone cold
And my tears still accumulating
Tell Me
Do
these
tears
ever
stop?
(Originally Posted 28.10.2019)
‘So I’ve made my mind up
I must live my life alone
And though it’s not the easy way
I guess I’ve always known
I’d say goodbye to love…’
I guess I am
A misanthrope
Born as I was
Devoid of hope
Destined across
The world to mope
Forever trying
To avoid the rope
Misanthropic Me
People
never
cease to
disgust
and
disappoint
me in
equal measure
Perhaps
that’s
why my
life is
full of
discomfort
and
displeasure
(Originally Posted 09.10.2019)
I probably did write this
On a Tuesday
Fuelled by coffee
And nicotine
But in truth
This could’ve been posted
On any given day
Back in twenty nineteen
Tuesday
I called in sick for work today.
My heart just couldn’t come out to play.
All I’ve done is lie in bed
Filled with thoughts of fear and dread.
With nausea consuming every movement,
My mood shows no sign of any improvement.
I hate existing like this.
Full of anger, self loathing and all that shit.
I wonder how much more emotion can I conceal
Before I decide to end it all for real
(Originally Posted 03.09.2019)
I’d love to say
That two years on
That I have cleaned up my act
But from what I suffered
My body never recovered
And my mind will always be cracked
Old Habits
As my
veins
drip
with
chip
fat
And
my
lungs
marinate
in
tar
I
wonder
if,
perhaps
this
time,
I’ve
taken
things
too
far
(Originally Posted 28.09.2020)
It’s never too far away
That shadow
I see it from the corner
Of my eye
An ever present reminder
Of what we lost
And when we had
To say goodbye
Mourning
Darkness
casts a
shadow
over my
head
As it
does
over
my
heart
Thoughts
and
dreams
of you
abound
As does
sorrow
that
we’d to
part
(Originally Posted 27.09.2019)
I went out a lot
In twenty nineteen
To live,
To laugh,
And to everything in-between
The Shot Glass
Drink,
drink,
and drink
again.
You know
that I’m
your only
friend.
(Originally Posted 25.09.2019)
Three years on
And although further forward
By the pain of his death
I am still tortured
At A Bedside, Desolate
There
is no
more
hope.
There
are no
more
dreams.
My life
continues
to fall apart
at the seams,
As I
lie here
thinking
of you.
And
wondering
what the fuck
I’m supposed
to do,
Now.
(Originally Posted 24.09.2019)
That I ever thought
Those pills would work
Is actually quite preposterous
For I have found
To my cost
That the pit of my stomach is bottomless
Prescription For A Broken Heart
I took
the first
one this
morning
The rest
won’t be
hard to
swallow
Soon
my belly
will be
full
And I’ll
no longer
feel so
hollow
(Originally Posted 24.09.2019)
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 
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