It Doesn’t Take Much

My heart aches just

That little bit more

As I read this

With a sigh

Remembering the time

With your hand in mine

Crying

We said goodbye

Xxx


‘Everything Must Go’

Don’t
say
anything
else

He
said

Please,
just
hold
my
hand

I’ll
stay
until
we
reach

She
said

Our
line in
the
sand

(Originally Posted 07.02.2020)

Save Me

Those oceans feel

A little calmer now

As those days

Have passed me by

So from here

I’ll just tread water

Hoping for help

Before I die


The Drowning Girl

Tears
run into
oceans

Hours
bleed into
days

As I go
through
the motions

Trapped
between
the waves

(Originally Posted 21.01.2021)

Frostbite

Even if I wanted

To get up

And seize the day

It’s far too cold

For one so old

Outside anyway


Anhedonic

Trying
hard
to
survive

This
thing
called
life

Hoping
to fend
off the
madness

Striving
to find

Some peace
of mind

Underneath
this
duvet of
sadness

(Originally Posted 06.01.2020)

Minutiae

You think that when

Someone dies

It’s the big things

That you’ll miss

But what causes pain

To grieving brain

Is missing the small things

That they did


Even A Broken Clock Is Right Twice A Day

I can’t
even
change

The time
on the
oven

It’s just
one more
thing

I have
discovered

Since
you’ve
gone

(Originally Posted 04.01.2020)

Living On The Edge

All those years

Spent with you

Silently

Being driven mad

But there’s no denying

(So it’s pointless trying)

That they were the best

I’ve ever had


Taking Things For Granted

I always
thought
being
with you
was hell

Seems
the boredom
of being
without you
is worse

Xxx

(Originally Posted 03.01.2022)

Jusqu’à La Fin

I still loved you

Down to your bones

Even without

Those dulcet tones

Xxx


Robbed

I wish
you
could
have
spoken

Right
at
the
very
end

I’ll
miss
that
sound
forever

The
voice
of my
best
friend

(Originally Posted 03.01.2020)

Getting By

I know you put

A brave face on

I know as I did it

Myself

Not just because

You’re thinking of others

But more to protect

Yourself


Are You Okay?

I want to ask

But I’m far too scared

For I already know

As into those depths

I’ve stared

(Originally Posted 02.01.2020)

Missing The Boat

It’ll most likely be

Like the last four

Wondering what the fuck

I stuck around for


20/20

However
will I
make it
through

Another
year
without
you?

(Originally Posted 31.12.2019)

Looking On

Of course I remember

How it feels

Down to the very last letter

But it wouldn’t matter

What I tried

Nothing can make it better


Utterly Helpless

I really wish
I could do more

Like pick you up
from the bathroom floor

Hug you when
your heart is breaking

Give you comfort
when your bones are aching

But for as much as
your pain to me is known

This is a journey
you must walk alone

(Originally Posted 27.12.2019)

Firsts

There was nothing else

That I could do

Nothing else

That I could say

Other than

To remind them all

That it’s just

Another day


Brutal Honesty

I wish
I could
take

Your
pain
away

Tell
you
everything

Will
be
okay

But
I know
the truth

It
doesn’t
get
better

When
what
you had

Is lost
forever

(Originally Posted 27.12.2019)

Random #266

‘When you’re used
Bruised
Black and blued
Don’t think about it
Never doubt it

I’ll walk beside you…’

Random #263

“Come away, O human child!
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
For the world’s more full of
weeping than you can
understand.”

– W. B Yeats

Only The Half Of It

Reading this one back again

I feel so sorry for her

Clearly she lost more,

When he died,

Than her words could ever infer


I Can’t Bring You Back Though, Can I?

I can look at your photo

I can whisper your name

I can press your shirt

Against my face

But nothing feels the same

(Originally Posted 11.12.2020)

The Lochaber Traverse

I gave away

Your boots today

To a charity shop

For next time I know

I’ll be walking alone

All along that rugged hilltop


Gone For Good

What I have lost

Can’t be replaced

For our footsteps

Can’t be retraced

(Originally Posted 10.12.2019)

The Sudden Calmness

They were all hoping

The blues would fade

But they were unaware

My decision was made


Rope

I know
I can’t
do this
anymore

My soul
is heavy
and my
heart
is sore

I feel
the relief
in every
pore

As I walk
along
to the
hardware
store

(Originally Posted 06.12.2019)

It’ll Need Stitches

I can clean it with antiseptic

He said

And cover it with a plaster

It won’t make any difference

She said

It’s still a fucking disaster


Bleeding

It feels
like I’ve
been
robbed,
she said,

Of the
only
love
in my
life

This
pain
just
runs
so deep,
she sobbed,

As it
cuts
through me
like a
knife

(Originally Posted 05.12.2019)

One In Four

I think we both knew

Deep down

That she would soon

Become another

That you’d be left

A husband bereft

And your kids

Without their mother

Now I know

That she had longer

And to her death

You had all faced up

Still it pains me so much

To see you

In the Under 50’s

Widow’s club


The News Nobody Wants

I hope
it all
goes well
today

I hope
with
all my
heart

For I
couldn’t
bear
for you

To live
as I
now do

And
have
your lives
torn apart

(Originally Posted 28.11.2019)

I’ll Be Okay

A tale of love

Unrequited,

Ever so sad

Yet I’m secretly

Delighted

To have experienced it.

Otherwise,

How would I have known?


‘You Can’t Always Get What You Want’

It’s not you

It’s not me

It’s just the way

It has to be

(Originally Posted 21.11.2020)

Upping Sticks

When I think over

These last few years

I really have suffered a lot

So my house may well

Now be up for sale

But my heart definitely is not


Home Sweet Home

They say
you can
never go
home
again

And I’m
starting
to believe
that’s
true

For all
that resides
here now
is a world
of pain

And
far too
many
memories
of you

(Originally Posted 17.11.2019)

“The Inexorable March Of Time”

That day

Still comes

Every year

Despite

My avoidance

As it

Draws near


One Year Ago

If I
just
don’t
think
about
it

Then
maybe
that
day
won’t
come

I’m
just
not
sure
I can
face it

When
all
is
said
and
done

(Originally Posted 11.11.2019)

How Much Longer?

Three years on

And here I am

Having been kept waiting

With my life on hold

My heart stone cold

And my tears still accumulating


Tell Me

Do
these
tears
ever
stop?

(Originally Posted 28.10.2019)

Random #248

‘So I’ve made my mind up
I must live my life alone
And though it’s not the easy way
I guess I’ve always known
I’d say goodbye to love…’

I Wasn’t Built For This

I guess I am

A misanthrope

Born as I was

Devoid of hope

Destined across

The world to mope

Forever trying

To avoid the rope


Misanthropic Me

People
never
cease to
disgust
and
disappoint
me in
equal measure

Perhaps
that’s
why my
life is
full of
discomfort
and
displeasure

(Originally Posted 09.10.2019)

A Real Shitty Year

I probably did write this

On a Tuesday

Fuelled by coffee

And nicotine

But in truth

This could’ve been posted

On any given day

Back in twenty nineteen


Tuesday

I called in sick for work today.

My heart just couldn’t come out to play.

All I’ve done is lie in bed

Filled with thoughts of fear and dread.

With nausea consuming every movement,

My mood shows no sign of any improvement.

I hate existing like this.

Full of anger, self loathing and all that shit.

I wonder how much more emotion can I conceal

Before I decide to end it all for real

(Originally Posted 03.09.2019)

Ruined

I’d love to say

That two years on

That I have cleaned up my act

But from what I suffered

My body never recovered

And my mind will always be cracked


Old Habits

As my
veins
drip
with
chip
fat

And
my
lungs
marinate
in
tar

I
wonder
if,
perhaps
this
time,

I’ve
taken
things
too
far

(Originally Posted 28.09.2020)

Even On Good Days

It’s never too far away

That shadow

I see it from the corner

Of my eye

An ever present reminder

Of what we lost

And when we had

To say goodbye


Mourning

Darkness
casts a
shadow
over my
head

As it
does
over
my
heart

Thoughts
and
dreams
of you
abound

As does
sorrow
that
we’d to
part

(Originally Posted 27.09.2019)

La Vie En Tequila Rose

I went out a lot

In twenty nineteen

To live,

To laugh,

And to everything in-between


The Shot Glass

Drink,
drink,
and drink
again.

You know
that I’m
your only
friend.

(Originally Posted 25.09.2019)

Telling The Truth

Three years on

And although further forward

By the pain of his death

I am still tortured


At A Bedside, Desolate

There
is no
more
hope.

There
are no
more
dreams.

My life
continues
to fall apart
at the seams,

As I
lie here
thinking
of you.

And
wondering
what the fuck
I’m supposed
to do,

Now.

(Originally Posted 24.09.2019)

Pissing In The Wind

That I ever thought

Those pills would work

Is actually quite preposterous

For I have found

To my cost

That the pit of my stomach is bottomless


Prescription For A Broken Heart

I took
the first
one this
morning

The rest
won’t be
hard to
swallow

Soon
my belly
will be
full

And I’ll
no longer
feel so
hollow

(Originally Posted 24.09.2019)

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