Tag: sayings

Encou(rage)ment

This type of positive sentiment

Is all well and good

But it’s of no use

When you cannot produce

The feelings others say you should

The (Not So) Funny Man

‘A day without laughter is a day wasted…’

Oh just fuck off Charlie,

Life’s far more complicated.

(Originally Posted 18.11.2019)

2

Of Biblical Proportions

You will reap

What you sow

Isn’t that what they say?

Well if that’s true

Then I promise you

There’s a fucking whirlwind

On the way

Penance

You’ll probably never see me again

And I’m quite happy with that

As it’s the very least you deserve

For being such an obnoxious twat

(Originally Posted 10.11.2019)

4

Unhappily Ever After

I’ll never look on the bright side

Or see that glass half full

As my penchant for misery

Has now come to be

Very much dyed in the wool

‘Jealous Guy’

Some
days
I am
acutely
aware

That
you
have
much
more
fun
than
me

I
suppose
it’s
not
that
hard
to
believe

Given
my
penchant
for
misery

(Originally Posted 08.11.2020)

4

Not Wandering Anymore

Out with the old

And in with the new

Time for me to find

Someone better than you

Rose Tinted Glasses

Sometimes a
wander down
memory lane
is no bad
thing

So long
as you can
remember
your way
back

(Originally Posted 22.07.2019)

4

It

You just have to learn to accept

She said

That it is whatever it is

Fuck whatever it was

He said

There must be more to it than this

12

Community

If it takes a village to raise a child

Then my neighbours must have been out

Because I pretty much

Dragged myself up

Of that there is no doubt

23

The List

There are skeletons in my closet

He said

But nothing complicated

That’s the problem with mine

She said

Most of them are naked

15

Breakfast

I know that it

Has been a while

But sure as eggs is eggs

You do have such

A winning smile

And a cracking pair of legs

32

Solo

Time flies

When you’re having fun

That’s why it’s still midnight

As I’m having none

16

The Expert

You just have to remember

He said

You can’t pour from an empty cup

Well mine is smashed to smithereens

She said

So how the fuck do I fill it up?

23

Tony

“Sometimes I go about in pity for myself, and all the while, a great wind carries me across the sky.”

— Ojibwe saying

8

My Advice

Do as I say 
Not as I do

I wouldn't 
want this pain 

Inflicted 
on you

(Originally Posted 10.03.2019)

 

5

Currency

I'll
give 
you a
penny
for 
them

He 
said

Tell
me
your 
ups
and 
downs 

You 
can
put 
your 
coppers
away

She 
said

As
for 
those
I'll 
need
pounds
14

Thick Skin

There’s
that
old
phrase

‘Least
said,
soonest
mended’

Well
please
feel
free

To say
what you
want
to me

I’ll
never
be
offended

6

Closing Time

If a
nod

Is as
good

As a
wink

Then
we
should
get

Another
drink

And
finally
put

This
flirtatious
thing

Between
us
both

To
bed

6

Around The Corner

It’s
true
that
life
is
short

But
for
some
it’s
shorter
still

They
never
even
see
it
coming

Let
alone
have
made
a
will

6

Mythbusting

If
life is
funny
sometimes

Then
why
can’t
I contain
my laughter

It’s the
same as
all that
bullshit
they say

About
living
happily
ever
after

2

Just Saying

Focus
on what
you can
control

And
leave
behind
what
you
can’t

That
way
you’ll
find
Bob’s
your
uncle

And
Fanny
really
is your
Aunt

20

Blindfolded

They
say
there’s
someone
for
everyone

But
how
can
that
possibly
be?

I’m
surprised
anyone
can
find
anyone

Trapped
in
this
insanity

12

Convince Me

If
life’s
a bitch

She
said

And
then
you
die

What’s
the
point
in
living?

It’s
for
those
moments

He
said

Inbetween

That’s
why we
keep on
giving

12

‘Counts As A Treat’

How you
used to
make me
laugh

Is
etched
on my
soul
like a
lithograph

That
comes
alive
only
in my
dreams

But
leaves me
falling
apart
at the
seams

Upon
waking

Xxx

15

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