Random #139

‘… this is how I am when I’m scared. It’s unfamiliar to you, but not to me. I can – I can fucking be scared – and carry on’

– Tommy Shelby

Don’t Ask Me

What would you do

If it was you

Would you risk it

Even though

You could lose

I have no idea

What I’d do here

So thank fuck

I don’t

Have to choose

Tease

So I’ve recorded some of my poems

And I don’t think they’re half bad

Who knew that in speaking

There’s so much fun to be had

But now I’m in a conundrum

As I need to make a choice

Do I stay safely anonymous

Or finally reveal my voice?

Going Too Far

Lying 
here
in
this
strange
bed

Wondering
what
was
going on
inside
my head

Trying
to
ignore
this
feeling
of dread

Wishing
I had
chosen
to stay
at home
instead

That

I
wish
that
I could
give
you

What
it is
that
you
want
me to

It’s
not
that
I wouldn’t
like it

But
more
that
I don’t
have
a clue

Timerous Beasties

When
I picture
my
youth

I see
you
and
me

Sitting
beneath
that old
oak tree

You
reading
a book

My
head
on your
shoulder

Both
of us
hoping

The
other
is
bolder

Into The Sea…

When I was told

What did unfold

I’ll admit that

I was envious

For you achieved

Of what I dream

As my will to live

Is tenuous

Handover

You’ll
never
cope

She
said

When
this
happens
to you

I
know

He
said

I’m
dreading
it too

Fervour

I’ve
written
all the
words

Now I’ve
just to
press
send

But
as my
finger
hovers

I’m
scared
our time
will end

Without You

Life is
just so
shit
without
you

I’ve got
nothing
left to
hold
on to

If
only
you were
still
here

Then I’d
have
nothing
left
to fear

A Solo Affair

I’m fine
by myself
without
all of
that

Just me
here
alone
in my
own flat

I don’t
need to
feel anyone
else’s
touch

As frankly
I never
really
liked it
much

Once In A Lifetime

I’m
scared
that
the
spell
is
now
broken
and
our
future
conversations
will
just
become
a
token
not
only
of the
connection
we once
shared
but
also
of
the
souls
that
we
once
bared

That Day

I’m scared
of what
that day
will bring,

As I
know it’s
approaching
fast.

Even if
it’s the
start of
my future,

There’s no
way of
forgetting
my past.

Silent Conversations

Not yet
but soon
she says,
as she makes her
way to the door

But when,
how soon
he asks
as he stares
at the floor

Not yet
but soon
she says,
as her head
is slowly bowed

But when,
how soon
he asks
will we
be allowed?

Creaky Floorboards

Tonight is
the first time
I’ve felt real fear

Being
home alone
without you here

What if someone
breaks in during
the night?

Will I survive
now you’re not
here to fight?

Night Terrors (Part 1)

I sense you,
stalking me from behind.
I won’t let you win.

I see you,
prowling outside my window.
I won’t let you in.

I hear you,
scratching at my door.
I won’t let you win.

I feel you,
gnawing on my bones.
How did you get in?

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