Rent Free

You’ve now outstayed a welcome

That you were never fucking given

So if you would kindly

Piss off please

I can get back to living

The Noose Tightens

Today has
been like
scratching
a brick wall

I didn’t
see this
one coming
at all

Everything
I’ve done
has made me
feel worse

I cannot
shrug this
nightmarish
curse

It feels
ridiculously
melodramatic
to say

But I
really don’t
think there’s
another way

All that
appeals
to me now
is that rope

As finally
it seems I’ve
abandoned
all hope

(Originally Posted 21.08.2019)

Try Harder Next Time

The monster who lives

Under my bed

Whispers again

Why aren’t you dead

Berating me

For writing instead

When all the time

That rope’s still in the shed

The Hangman

I really
try my
best to
cope and
not just
sit around
and mope
but as
time moves
on I
know there’s
no hope
I can
forget the
past and
avoid the
rope that
silently
whispers my
name

(Originally Posted 02.07.2019)

No Swimming

One
day
I’ll
wake
up

And
I won’t
feel
this
strong

So
you’ll
find
me

Drowned
in the
river

And
back
where
I belong

The Sage

Tell me
how
you do
it

She
said

How
do you
stay so
strong

I
don’t
really
know

He
said

I make
it up
as
I go
along

Stand Well Back

I’ve
never
thought
of myself
as strong

But I
suppose
I have
stuck
it out
this
long

Although
somewhat
broken,
bloodied
and
bruised

I’m
very
much
still
here
to light
the fuse

DIY

I wish
I could
sleep

But I
simply
can’t
relax

I just don’t
have the
strength
to keep

Painting
over the
cracks

Support

I can’t
stay,
she said,
I have
to go
back

It’s the
only way
to get my
life back
on track

I’ll come
with you,
he said,
you don’t
have to go
on your own

I’m here to
help you
through
so you’ll
never
be alone

Options

I am amazed, yet again, that I’ve found the courage to get out of bed.

You have no idea how hard it is.

This sustained internal struggle.

The conscious effort required to motivate myself to move.

The strength of belief needed to convince my anxious brain that we can get through the day unscathed.

It’s exhausting.

If only I could return to the naivety of the past.

Travel back to a time when sadness was mere affectation.

Where melancholy was a comforting friend.

And death wasn’t such a viable option.

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