Resignation

What can you do

When you’ve been mistaken

When you realise your life

You have forsaken

When you can’t go back

And start again

When it’s only regret

That does now remain


Double Take

It’s only
now I
realise
I’ve
played
this all
wrong

And it
actually
should
have
been
you all
along

(Originally Posted 20.09.2019)

Stuck

I know it comes evey year

Yet I’m still no more prepared

As much as I try

I’m still left high and dry

With any chance to move on impaired


That Day

I’m scared
of what
that day
will bring,

As I
know it’s
approaching
fast.

Even if
it’s the
start of
my future,

There’s no
way of
forgetting
my past.

(Originally Posted 05.09.2019)

Putting The Flags Away

I don’t know why

I got carried away

I only smiled

That one day

It’s not like my sadness

Can fade to grey

As this black cloud

Is here to stay


‘A Little Peculiar’

Something happened this morning

When I sat up in my bed

I found that instead of yawning

I actually smiled instead

(Originally Posted 10.08.2020)

Seared

I guess

That is

The thing

With scars

They remain

In place

Forever

A showcase

Of the body’s

Memoirs

All those links

It cannot sever


No Way Back

To carry
on living
is proving
too hard

With my mind
and my body
so irrevocably
scarred

(Originally Posted 29.07.2019)

Random #217

“So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”

– F. Scott Fitzgerald

Becoming Unstuck

Back in the day

The only way

Was to express my grief

In paragraphs

I avoided talking

Like the plague

And couldn’t look

At photographs

I knew that it

Was wrong of me

But in my sadness

I was frozen

There was no option

For me back then

No other path

I could have chosen

But now I find

Day in day out

I can move

A little bit more

I am becoming unstuck,

It seems

Of that much

I am sure

I can only hope

As time goes on

Things continue

In this vain

And I’m never physically,

Mentally or emotionally

So immovable

Again


Immovable

It’s like wading through a swamp. Trying to lift your limbs from quicksand. Pushing against an invisible wind with a colossal weight strapped to your back. Everything takes so much longer. So many hours are lost. Motivation is impossible to muster. Action comes only in waves. Trivial tasks are insurmountable and nothing makes sense.

I’ve become physically, mentally and emotionally immovable.

Please, send help.

(Originally Posted 26.03.2019)

Solo

Time flies

When you’re having fun

That’s why it’s still midnight

As I’m having none

The Fallacy of Pharma

They promised I’d feel better by now

That these pills would have kicked in

Well they fucking lied

As my brain is still fried

And my heart belongs in the bin

The Replacement

I only ever wanted you

But then he arrived instead

Now there’s no chance

In any circumstance

Of you sleeping in my bed

Wars Of Attrition

Some people stay together

And hate every second of it

But as they’re bound by tradition

They put up with each others shit

They’re worn down day after day

But are far too scared to leave

For of a life full of happiness

They cannot possibly conceive

One Night In Heaven

Now
we’ll
never
hold
hands
again

Walk
in the
park
or
kiss in
the rain

That
only
fading
memories
of us
remain

Just
breaks
my heart
and fucks
with my
brain

Car Trouble

Nothing makes this better

Everything makes it worse

A body straining in first gear

And a mind stuck in reverse

The Settlement

I only want
what’s best
for you,
he said,
even if it’s
not what’s
best for me

I just
want this
to end,
she said,
I simply
want to
be free

Guilty

I got lost
in his eyes
when he spoke to me
and, for a moment,
I wondered what
it would be like
to hold his hand.

I’m sorry.

I Love You

If I met you again,
For the first time,
I wouldn’t change a thing.

I’d do it all again,
Exactly the same,
Taking you under my wing.

But I should have,
if I could have,
told you that
I loved you
more.

Perhaps then
my life now
wouldn’t be
so difficult
to endure.

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