Tag: thinking

Taking To Bed

I may spend time lying down

But not much of that is sleeping

It’s existential dread

That fills my head

And that’s not to mention the weeping

Forty Winks

Why do
I bother
coming
to bed

It’s not
like I
can
sleep

All I
do is
fucking
lie here

Overthinking
and
counting
sheep

(Originally Posted 21.09.2019)

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You Should Be Ashamed Of Yourselves, Frankly

You never got why

I did what I did

Even now, you couldn’t recall

But I know why

I did what I did

And I don’t regret it, at all

Mine

I don’t want to ‘talk’ about it.

I don’t want to ‘express’ it.

I don’t want to ‘let it out’.

I want to keep this part for me.

A part that’s private.

A part that’s mine and mine alone.

As it should be.

I didn’t share my love and I refuse to share my grief.

So just piss off, the lot of you.

(Originally Posted 03.05.2019)

2

Settling

Do you still think of me, I wonder

Like I still think of you

Or ever since you moved away

Have your feelings gone astray

And now you just make do

10

Settle In

Tell me all about your life

He said

And what has happened to you

You’ll need to give me a minute

She said

To think all this shit through

22

Hometime

As the hurt starts to subside

And the pain begins to fade

I’m never too far

From the reminder

Grief is still the sharpest blade

4

All That Once Was

It
was so
much
better

When
you
were
here

Holding
you
close

Pulling
you
near

Now
all
that
once
was

Has
gone
away

I’m
left
here
alone

And
that’s
not
OK

Xxx

25

Maybe

It
has
occured
to me
once
again

Now
that
I’m
left
without
a friend

Maybe
all
this
time
I’ve
misunderstood

And
it was
actually
me who
fucked
things
up

13

Hail Mary

You’d think
now I
have more
time on
my hands

I’d be
thinking
about the
future and
making plans

Yet I
sit here
dwelling on
that one
transgression

Knowing
it’s too
late now
give my
confession

18

‘Bring Me Home And Have Me’

I can walk along

Feeling fine

Then without warning

You’re on my mind

I break for home

Each step quicker

Heart in my mouth

Stomach ever sicker

As I remember

With a groan

The reason why

I’m all alone

Xxx

3

Reflex

I can’t
believe
it’s taken

All this
time to
see

That the
bully is
not you

But,
actually,
it’s me

10

The Messenger (1)

Morning:

I
enjoyed
chatting
with
you

Even
though
it was
through
a screen

Like an
impenetrable
wall of
concrete

With a
little
crack
inbetween

2

Every Day

Still hoping,
Still waiting,
Still holding,
Still wanting.

Still thinking,
Still grieving,
Still trying,
Still giving.

Still caring,
Still feeling,
Still crying,
Still fighting.

Still breathing,
Still living,
Still believing,
Still loving.

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