As the days
Get colder
And the years
Go marching on
I feel the joy
Of growing older
Is nothing short
Of a con
"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
As the days
Get colder
And the years
Go marching on
I feel the joy
Of growing older
Is nothing short
Of a con
I did
What you wanted
I took you
To the brink
But you
Should know
That down below
I never
Felt a thing
Whenever I think
It might be time
To call
And apologise first
I remember how
You watched me struggle
And decided
To make it worse
Why don’t you just start small
He said
Take baby step, or two
Because to act like I’m over him
She said
Couldn’t be further from the truth
Although
Most days
Are no longer
That hard
Grief still
Finds a way
Of catching me
Off guard
Xxx
With all those years
That we were blessed
If you asked again
I’d still say yes
Xxx
If only you
Would ask me now
Instead
Of way back when
Because I’d say yes
And strongly suggest
That we stay anything
But friends
Thinking back
To that night
A split decision
And your plane
Took flight
If I’d known then
What I do now
I’d have grabbed
Your hand
And never
Let go
Please don’t think
That I’m not keen
Being intentionally rude
Or deliberately mean
I’m just not in the mood
To give you head
And I’d rather we watch
This box set instead
I’m not that girl
You used to know
I killed her off
Many moons ago
Now close your mouth
And dry your eyes
As life isn’t all beer
And scampi fries
It seems
The inevitable
Has happened
And I have finally
Gone mad
As I’m starting
To forget
The good things
Instead
Of just the bad
Another hour
Another day
Wishing I didn’t
Feel this way
Another second
Another minute
Life sure is shit
Without you in it
Xxx
When you said
I should leave
I did what
You asked me to do
I used that day
To run away
From everything
I knew
All those years
You took the blame
For me pressing
Self destruct
When, in truth,
It was just an excuse
That I used
To get fucked
When those thoughts
Enter your head
Do you cut them off
Stone dead?
Or do you sometimes
Squint through the blur
To see what a cunt
You really were
Now that all
Is said
And done
I know
That you
Were never
“The one”
Now I know
Why you left
Time
And time again
It wasn’t because
I wasn’t enough
You just couldn’t
Stand the pain
All that time
Now gone
To waste
Next time
I'll tell you
With infinite haste
Sometimes I wonder
If you were asked
What it is
You’d say
About me
Would you describe
All that time
We spent
Together
As happy?
You’d think
That after
All this time
You’d know
What you did wrong
How you hurt me
So viciously
By stringing
Me along
But it seems
All that
Is lost on you
From what I’ve heard
You share
So I’ll care not a jot
In telling you to fuck off
And just leave you
Hanging there
If you get
A chance
Of happiness
You should grab it
With both hands
Take it from one
Whose time
Has gone
And so completely
Understands
Perhaps it’s time
I move on
And forget
The things you did
It most likely wouldn’t
Take me long
To find reasons
To forgive
But there’s still a hold
On my heart
That stops me picking
Up the phone
A feeling I’ve had
From the start
Something I
Have always known
That’s even if
I was forthcoming
I’d get fuck all
In return
So, for now
I’ll just say nothing
While the fires
Around you burn
If I could turn
Back the clock
I’d say yes
To that walk
If only the sands
Of time would stop
I’d stay awhile
And talk
But for a return
Through time and space
There is no point
In wishing
If wherever I’d go
Whatever the place
You will still
Be missing
Xxx
I remember precisely
Where I was
Along with the time
And date
When I knew
To just stop trying
And resign myself
To fate
After everything
Was said and done
And all those years
Had passed
I knew
I wasn’t
Your first love
But I was proud
To be your last
Xxx
It’s nice to see
How you are with me
Is in no way chauvinistic
But as for your chance
When it comes to romance
I wouldn’t be too optimistic
As life
Moves on
And time
Goes by
It gnaws
At my soul
Whilst bleeding
Me dry
It really does
Beggar belief
How much
There is
To learn
About grief
It is
As if
After all
This time
You have
Forgotten
What's
Rightfully
Mine
I’m glad
You’re feeling better
And that
You’re doing well
As maybe now
I’ll have the pleasure
Of meeting you
In hell
My bags are packed
I’m ready to go
Now all I need
Is for you to show
Me where I can get
One for the road
Just kick back
And drink with me
There’s no need
To be so reserved
As for tying up loose ends
And toasting old friends
We’ve got all the time
In the world
(Inspired by a writing prompt offered by Michael at https://afterwards.blog)
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