Random #127

“Justice and humaneness have never gone hand in hand. The law is not a sentimental comedy.”

– Captain Watkin Tench

Back To The Day You Died

Things are fine

Most of the time

I quite forget

That you even got ill

But then I’ll drink wine

And from nowhere, time

Once again

Stands still

Xxx

#3 The Victim

If only you’d seen

What these eyes have seen

Perhaps then

You could understand

If it was you crying

As he lay dying

You’d know why I made

That demand

‘Back To The Old House’

The hairdressers who first permed my hair

The record shop that’s no longer there

The place the first ring pierced my nose

The stall that sold those second hand clothes

The school that taught me how to grow

The man who showed me all I know

The pub I was in every Saturday night

The doorway where I held you tight

The café where I laughed and cried

The club where I danced eyes open wide

The hospital visit that left a scar

The venue where I lost my bra       

For all the hours spent here

Both good and bad

I know they were the best

I’ve ever had

Harsh Truths

I used to think

I was pale

And interesting

Now I realise

Not only

Could I do with a tan

I am actually

Just dull as fuck

Putting The Washing Away

You’re OK

You know

Most days

You just get on

With things

Then suddenly

Out of nowhere

It hits you

At the foot

Of the stairs

And you weep

As you realise

Most days

Will never

Be the same

Again

‘You Should Have Come In Sooner’

If only I could tell you

But you wouldn’t understand

I don’t know how to open up

Or even if I can

Sharing how I feel with you

Would be difficult at best

So I will just keep trudging on

With my cards close to my chest

Slipping Back

They say after a while

It stops hurting

Yet thirty one months later

I’m still in pain

If anything it feels

Like I’m reverting

Back to those dark old days

Again

Two Steps Back

Words don’t cut it

Anymore

So it’s back to the knives

Instead

I really thought

I was over this

But the trauma demon

Has to be fed

Captives

Was it you

Or was it me

Who soldiered on

Too blind to see

That it was destined

To end like this

With us both falling

Into the abyss

I Won’t Forget

I still cry for him at night

You know

There’ll never be a time

I won’t

Just because you’re not here

To wipe away

My tears

Doesn’t mean

I don’t

Forever Faltering

It’s all too easy

To slip into

This ‘everything is ok’ soundtrack

But you and I both know

It’s all just pretend

Because you’re never coming back

Xxx

For L.

I miss you today

More than ever

Sitting outside in

This stunning weather

If only we could meet again

Even after all this time

As we’d still have

Such a fucking laugh

And drain a bottle (or two) of wine

Galore

I wish I’d known you then

He said

When you offered so much more

Now it’s only apathy

She said

And neuroses galore

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