"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
Perhaps I should climb
A mountain
Or sail off
On a round the cruise
Anything to relieve
This having to grieve
After all,
What have I got to lose?
‘I Could Be Wrong / I Could Be Right…’
The
pressure
is on
to find
meaning
In
this so
called
life of
mine
But
I just
can’t
help but
feeling
That
it’s a
total
waste
of time
(Originally Posted 27.02.2020)
You must start moving on
My friend
As it won’t be long
Until the end
And when you look back
You’ll rue the day
That you gave all
Of your time away
Overheard
All
you
do is
bitch
and
moan
And
I listen,
with
a sigh
For you
can’t
seem
to see
what
I do
That’s
your
life,
passing
you by
(Originally Posted 20.02.2020)
Now it’s just over
Four years for me
And although
I’ve learned a lot
I still couldn’t claim
I know enough to explain
Or even to give it
A decent shot
Bereavement
Just
when
I think
I’ve got
no tears
left
They
fall
down
my
face
again
Why
the fuck
didn’t
someone
tell
me
How
to
prepare
for all
this
pain
(Originally Posted 19.02.2020)
How I remember
Feeling this way
That nothing again
Would be OK
But now I’ve got
Some feeling back
I see a glimmer of hope
Through the crack
Grieving
Are you
sure it’s
gone
He
said
What
about
love
Compassion?
Make
no
mistake
She
said
I’ve
lost
it all
Her
face,
as it was,
ashen
(Originally Posted 18.02.2020)
I felt that way
For a really long time
After you rounded on me
That night
But now I’ve moved on
And boy I’ve grown
So I’m stepping back
Into the light
Nyctophilia
I’m
better
alone
than in
company
Just
like I’m
happier
in the
dark
That
way
I never
have to
see anyone
Or
hear
another
disparaging
remark
(Originally Posted 16.02.2020)
It’s taken me by surprise
This year
As I thought I’d be OK
Yet I feel utterly desolate
Lying here
Washing my tears away
Xxx
What Should Have Been
Twenty two years
Just me and you
Sitting on the sofa
With wine and food
But it’s not to be
As you’re three years gone
So any romance today
Just feels wrong
Xxx
(Originally Posted 14.02.2022)
There is a tendency
When your partner dies
If thinking back
To romanticise
Every little thing
They ever did or said
To remember nothing wrong
In the years you were wed
But as time rolls by you realise
This wasn’t always the case
And putting them on that pedestal
Is just your grief misplaced
It doesn’t mean you didn’t love them
Or that their death isn’t terrible
But to acknowledge their flaws
Is important because
It makes your life slightly
More bearable
Xxx
Wasted Time
If I regret anything now
It’s all the arguments we had
The silent treatment I gave you
The things I did to make you mad
Now you’re no longer here
I can’t put those wrong things right
And I have no choice but to live with that
For the rest of my fucking life
Xxx
(Originally Posted 14.02.2020)
With the cost of living rising
And my prospects going down
It may well be time
For me to leave
This tired old humdrum town
Overdrawn
Another
day
Another
dollar
Fuck
knows why
We even
bother
(Originally Posted 10.02.2020)
Truth is
I’m getting older
I just wish
It was wiser too
Perhaps with that
Would come the ability
To find
A little stability
And I’d maybe make it
All the way through
The Spiral
It feels like
every day I fall
A little further
down the hole
Losing just
a wee bit more
Of my body,
mind and soul
(Originally Posted 05.02.2020)
Thankfully
I made the decision
To live without
Your endless derision
Before any more of my time
Was wasted
Poisonous Bitch
We
only
get
one
life
She
said
And
it’s
far
too
short
To
spend
with
you
(Originally Posted 03.02.2020)
I can get through
Most days now
Without crying
Over you
But sometimes it hits
Like a ton of bricks
And there is nothing
I can do
Recurring
The tears I cried
When you died
Will never fully dry
For with each day
Dawns a new array
Of pain I can’t deny
Xxx
(Originally Posted 22.01.2021)
As I have beaten
My adversary
This will all end
In February
How Long?
How long
can you
go on
writing
When
your only
inspiration
is spite?
And now
you’ve had
to start
forgiving
So that
you can
sleep
at night
(Originally Posted 07.01.2020)
All these years
I’ve been writing
Calling you each
And every name
But perhaps I’ve been mean
Because it’s actually been
My attempt
To shift the blame
Who Gives A Shit
Have
I done
The
wrong
thing
again?
I
suppose
only
time
Will
tell
Until
then
I’ll try
To keep
myself
sane
While
I prepare
To
burn
in hell
(Originally Posted 04.01.2020)
You think that when
Someone dies
It’s the big things
That you’ll miss
But what causes pain
To grieving brain
Is missing the small things
That they did
Even A Broken Clock Is Right Twice A Day
I can’t
even
change
The time
on the
oven
It’s just
one more
thing
I have
discovered
Since
you’ve
gone
(Originally Posted 04.01.2020)
All those years
Spent with you
Silently
Being driven mad
But there’s no denying
(So it’s pointless trying)
That they were the best
I’ve ever had
Taking Things For Granted
I always
thought
being
with you
was hell
Seems
the boredom
of being
without you
is worse
Xxx
(Originally Posted 03.01.2022)
We’ve reached that time
In our run
Where things are beginning
To come undone
Words once so profound
Are now old and cruddy
Our parts played mostly
By the understudy
It’s such a shame
To see it end this way
And that soon our house
Will stage a different play
Theatrics
Of the love
I feel for you
I have never been
More certain
So much so
It is now time
To drop
The safety curtain
So then we can
With a fiery gusto
Both just get on
With performing our show
(Originally Posted 01.01.2021)
‘Well, the world turns…’
Let’s do something
She said
Different this year
I’ve had enough
Of drinking beer
I don’t mind
He said
Whatever we do
As long as it involves
Me and you
Hogmanay (Part 3)
Time
Creeping
Mine
Sweeping
Dicks
Sleeping
Women
Weeping
Hogmanay 2020 (Part 2)
Staring into a new year
Together
Holding hands
I can’t believe
Out of everyone
It’s you who understands
Hogmanay 2020 (Part 1)
I’ll give you one day
Where the sun will shine
And that day is Friday
This week
But after that
It’ll all fall flat
And it’s back
To the future that’s bleak
(Originally Posted 31.12.2020)
It’ll most likely be
Like the last four
Wondering what the fuck
I stuck around for
20/20
However
will I
make it
through
Another
year
without
you?
(Originally Posted 31.12.2019)
Grief affects everyone
In many different ways
Yet some among us
Prove lucky enough
To escape the daily malaise
Poles Apart
I still cry myself to sleep
Not that you’d know
You selfish creep
You think because
We all lost him
That we both feel the same
But you haven’t got
A fucking clue
Of how I live each day in pain
(Originally Posted 30.12.2020)
I’d love to say
That things have changed
And I no longer feel
So hopeless
But the intervening time
Since writing this rhyme
Has been equally
As atrocious
Nothing
Nothing makes
me happy
Nothing makes
me smile
There’s nothing left
to look forward to
At least nothing that
feels worthwhile
(Originally Posted 28.12.2019)
It’s the time of year
Again
For that age old
Platitude
The one I’m expected
To receive
With a kindly
Gratitude
“It must be hard for you”
They say
“Especially at this time of year”
I want
To say
It’s hard
Every day
But that’s not
What they want to hear
Who The Fuck Are ‘They’ Anyway?
Time heals
Or so they say
Well, let me tell you
They fucking lie
Time does nothing
But march on
And you’re left
With no right to reply
(Originally Posted 22.12.2021)
All those years
All those lists
When all I wanted
Was to eat and get pissed
Thoughtless
Not only is it the time of year for giving
But the time for receiving too
You’ve no idea how glad I am
There’s no more bullshit gifts from you
(Originally Posted 19.12.2020)
Not only was he handsome,
Smart and debonair
It also transpired
After he had inquired
That he was a millionaire
Currency
I’ll
give
you a
penny
for
them
He
said
Tell
me
your
ups
and
downs
You
can
put
your
coppers
away
She
said
As
to hear
those
you’ll
need
pounds
(Originally Posted 18.12.2020)
Never again
Will I be forced
To visit someone else’s home
Even if that means
Living off chips and beans
And forever eating alone
Dinnertime
I’ll never
go back
there
again
They
can all
just get
to fuck
I’ve no
desire
to talk
to them
As with
my heart
they’ve
ran amuck
(Originally Posted 12.12.2019)
Sometimes I wonder
If I made it out alive
Or if I’m actually still dead
I mean I know
I put on a good show
But I’d rather just feel it instead
But Still Alive
Mired in madness
Subsumed in sadness
Buried here forever
Lost in blackness
(Originally Posted 12.12.2019)
In a way it’s easier
To still see you every day
For as we get both older
My heart grows colder
And doesn’t hurt in the same way
Taken
I can bear most things in life
But it kills me every time
To know no matter what I do
You will never again be mine
(Originally Posted 11.12.2020)
All those memories
Good and bad
Making me smile
Driving me mad
Yet lying here
It makes me sad
As we never knew
Quite what we had
The Old Days
Waking along
this empty street
Splashing puddles
with my feet
I remember when
we used to meet
And my broken heart
skips a beat
(Originally Posted 05.12.2019)
As I stand here
Taking snaps
Comparing them
To years past
I am struck
By the magnitude
Of how much I now
Love my solitude
(High)lands
Let us
roam
amongst
the
heather
Laugh
out loud
betwixt
the
blether
Kiss
amidst
this
stormy
weather
Until
we
come
undone
together
(Originally Posted 03.12.2020)
If we’d had a plan
When all this began
Perhaps we could both advance
But as things are
We’ve gone too far
And now none of us
Stand a chance
Obvious
At a
different
time
In a
different
place
The
answer
would
stare
us
Right
in the
face
(Originally Posted 30.11.2019)
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 
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