Harsh Truths

I used to think

I was pale

And interesting

Now I realise

Not only

Could I do with a tan

I am actually

Just dull as fuck

Putting The Washing Away

You’re OK

You know

Most days

You just get on

With things

Then suddenly

Out of nowhere

It hits you

At the foot

Of the stairs

And you weep

As you realise

Most days

Will never

Be the same

Again

‘You Should Have Come In Sooner’

If only I could tell you

But you wouldn’t understand

I don’t know how to open up

Or even if I can

Sharing how I feel with you

Would be difficult at best

So I will just keep trudging on

With my cards close to my chest

Slipping Back

They say after a while

It stops hurting

Yet thirty one months later

I’m still in pain

If anything it feels

Like I’m reverting

Back to those dark old days

Again

Two Steps Back

Words don’t cut it

Anymore

So it’s back to the knives

Instead

I really thought

I was over this

But the trauma demon

Has to be fed

Captives

Was it you

Or was it me

Who soldiered on

Too blind to see

That it was destined

To end like this

With us both falling

Into the abyss

I Won’t Forget

I still cry for him at night

You know

There’ll never be a time

I won’t

Just because you’re not here

To wipe away

My tears

Doesn’t mean

I don’t

Forever Faltering

It’s all too easy

To slip into

This ‘everything is ok’ soundtrack

But you and I both know

It’s all just pretend

Because you’re never coming back

Xxx

For L.

I miss you today

More than ever

Sitting outside in

This stunning weather

If only we could meet again

Even after all this time

As we’d still have

Such a fucking laugh

And drain a bottle (or two) of wine

Galore

I wish I’d known you then

He said

When you offered so much more

Now it’s only apathy

She said

And neuroses galore

April The 1st

I woke up alone again today

Going over the words we spoke

Another day without you here

Really is a fucking joke

Xxx

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