Tag: tired

The Blind Date

Only halfway

Through your story

And you’re already

Beginning to bore me

Sometime later

When your story ends

I know for sure

We’ll just be friends

12

Netflix and (Actually) Chill

Please don’t think

That I’m not keen

Being intentionally rude

Or deliberately mean

I’m just not in the mood

To give you head

And I’d rather we watch

This box set instead

5

The Dilemma

As I sit here

In the dark

All alone again

I wonder

If it’s worth it

Living a life

So plain

It would

Perhaps

Be different

If I thought

That anyone

Cared

But an opinion

On my existence

Not a soul

Has aired

So it is back

To my

Conundrum

Do I stay

Or do I go?

Waste away

Amidst

This humdrum

Or just end it now,

You know?

19

It’s Been A Long Week

I’ll go out with you

Again tonight

But don’t expect

I’ll be too much fun

I mean, I’ll be okay

But will slip away

When my social battery

Is done

2

Weak

I really am sorry

I cannot take your weight

For my arms are too broken

From carrying my own

23

Fifty Winks

I’ve
woken up
on the
sofa
today

Now I
feel
like
a half
shut
knife

I’ve
said it
before
and I’ll
say it
again

I
really
fucking
hate
my
life

6

8.05pm

I can’t
be arsed
with any
more today

I’m just
going
to go
to bed

At least
that way I
might get
some respite

From the
voices
inside
my head

8

Done In

There’s
only so
much I
can write

Before
I go
to sleep
tonight

My
eyes are
heavy and
overtired

My
head is
weary and
overfired

2

Keeping Busy

It’s been
a busy
few days

In
many
ways

But now all
my tasks are
completed

So with
nothing
left to do

I’ll soon
be thinking
of you

And how
I’ve been left
feeling cheated

10

Tuesdays

Waking up tired,
Heart already in pain

I really can’t be arsed,
with this shit again

4

Out

The days march on,
But I trail behind.
Out of step,
Out of place,
Out of time.
0

God

I wish I believed.

It’s heartening to see those of faith comforted from words set down so many years ago.

It’s uplifting to hear the voices of the choir soar alongside such stirring melody.

It’s inspiring to gaze in wonder at those beautifully stained glass windows like so many before me.

Truly.

But I don’t believe. In anyone or anything.

I’m not sure if I lack the inclination or imagination. Or both.

I am glad there are those that can be lifted from their darkest moments by the arms their God.

Sadly, the only person who will rescue me…is me.

And I’m not sure I have the strength.

0

Immovable

It’s like wading through a swamp. Trying to drag your limbs from quicksand. Pushing against an invisible wall, a colossal weight strapped to your back. Everything takes so much longer. So many hours are lost. Motivation is impossible to muster. Action comes only in waves. Trivial tasks are insurmountable and nothing makes sense.

I’ve become physically, mentally and emotionally immovable.

Please, send help.

4

Questions

When does this pain end?
Have I not suffered enough?
Will things ever change?
Does time heal everything?
Am I done?
Do I care?
Shall I?
Go where?
Alone?
Forever?

 

0

The Bridge

Today, I choose not to jump.

Tomorrow, who knows.

I am already standing too close to the edge…

 

0

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