I’m really looking forward
He said
To getting you
Under the covers
Don’t get too excited
She said
As it’s not like
We’ll be lovers
"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
I’m really looking forward
He said
To getting you
Under the covers
Don’t get too excited
She said
As it’s not like
We’ll be lovers
You think yourself
Some fucking big shot
But really,
Is that all you’ve got?
‘Cause if what you’re giving
Is truly your best
Then you’re no bigger
Than all the rest
Be it sweet
Or be it sour
You’d be on your knees
Within the hour
You never
Made me happy
You never
Made me moan
In fact,
Your moves were crappy
So I’d just get there
On my own
What do we have here?
He said
Hand snaking
Towards his crotch
I really can’t be arsed
She said
So I’ll just sit here
And watch
I always knew
He’d break my heart
And in the end
He did
Not because
He’d never wed
But since I’m here
And he is dead
You ain’t
All that
You’re no
High-flier
In fact
You’re a twat
As well
As a liar
It’s ok
If you want
To stay
I will be
The one
To leave
But just
Remember
When they find out
It’s my loss
They will grieve
When those thoughts
Enter your head
Do you cut them off
Stone dead?
Or do you sometimes
Squint through the blur
To see what a cunt
You really were
Don’t you want to get better?
No, she politely replied
I think folks would be happier
If I just quietly died
What is life
He said
Without a little risk?
There’s testing the limit
She said
And then taking the piss
Now that all
Is said
And done
I know
That you
Were never
“The one”
I hope that you
Are happy now
And you go to sleep
With a smile
But for me to hope
That she doesn’t choke
Is going to take
A while
Love’s young dream
This is not
Nor is it
A fairy tale
It’s a bunk up,
Of sorts,
Fuelled by lust,
Of course,
Along with a few yards of ale
They say
You are
No longer here
But I see you
Clear as day
I hear you
Talking
In your sleep
As I while
The hours away
They want me
To think
It can’t be true
That I’m mad
And must take
A pill
But I know you
Will never leave
And I am not
Mentally ill
Sometimes I wonder
If you were asked
What it is
You’d say
About me
Would you describe
All that time
We spent
Together
As happy?
It doesn’t matter
Who was right
Or who
Was fucking wrong
We both did
The worst
And equally
Got hurt
By stringing
Each other along
Never again
Will I give you
The benefit
Of the doubt
Not now your lies
Have been uncovered
And the truth
Is finally out
As I sit here
Nursing a beer
Facing up
To the cold light of day
It is crystal clear
To me now, dear
You never loved me
Anyway
There’s plenty that
I could have said
Even more
I could have done
But you don’t deserve
The satisfaction
Of thinking
That you’ve won
It’s not me you want
It’s her, over there
With the sparkly eyes
And the perfect hair
But I’ll play along
And my feelings, ignore
After all I’ve done it
Plenty times before
I don’t know
If all that’s true
But it’s nice to hear
Your point of view
If only times
Were different
Then our lives
Could truly flourish
But as it is
This life is shit
With love like ours
Not encouraged
If what you say
Proves to be true
Then I will give
Myself to you
But if what you say
Proves to be false
Then I’ll rip you apart
Without remorse
You say
That I intrigue you
As I’m pale
And interesting
Yet what I see
Is the reality
And that ain’t worth
A thing
Trudging on, acceptingly
Wading through life’s shit
I realise, objectively
That I’m worth more than this
It really does
Beggar belief
How much
There is
To learn
About grief
It is
As if
After all
This time
You have
Forgotten
What's
Rightfully
Mine
To be honest
Most folks
Are doing
What you do
Just trying
Their best
To make
It through
So please
Don’t believe
All that
Bullshit’s true
Because, trust me,
It’s not all
About you
I know
We all
Like
To moan
But you need
To give it
A rest
Some of us
Are out here
Saving lives
And not
Just PDF’s
Are you sure
You had
“The time
Of your life”
Because,
Believe me,
Your face
Said otherwise
Of all
The things
I've known
To be true
I'd say one
Is the spark
Between me
And you
There’s no need
For anything fancy
Or to reinvent
The wheel
Because it won’t be
What you say to me
But how
You make me feel
You said it was summer
He said
But all I’ve seen
Is rain
Welcome to the North East
She said
Where two days
Are never the same
I know
That we
Have
Hardly
Spoken
But my
Insides
Are now
Broken
And what
Is left
Merely
A token
Of the
Woman
I used to be
From the rankest bottom
Of my deepest recess
I hope and I pray
For your utter distress
As there is no way
You could ever contest
Your actions don’t lie
At the heart of this mess
I suppose
I’ve never
Really cared
For people,
Places,
Or things
But just dealt
With the
Endless
Melancholy
That abject
Depression
Brings
We should plan a trip
He said
Pick a place
Somewhere unique
Perhaps in different
Surroundings
We’d get a better
Chance to speak
I’m not really sure
She said
With my future
Looking so bleak
That I will even make
Tomorrow
Let alone
Next week
I didn’t believe in love
She said
Until my head
Was turned
Then I realised
How right I was
When I got
My fingers burned
It fucked me up
That much is true
But the lonliness
Was nothing new
Even if
You love me now
There’s no way
That it can last
For I know my luck
And I’ll fuck it up
Losing all
That we have amassed
I remembered what
It was like today
Back when that pain
Gnawed away
When his death broke me
To the sum of my parts
And my mental health
Was off the charts
And although with her
I did empathise
I couldn’t be false
Or tell her lies
So I whispered the truth
As I’ve come to accept it
Although time does heal
It can never correct it
Do as I say
Not as I do
Words I really
Should have tattooed
Have you done this before
He said
As you’re really rather good
Some things wouldn’t be right to share
She said
Even if I could
I’ve seen what lurks
Inside you
Despite what you’re trying
To show
And it’s clear, in fact
Your crawling back
Just confirms what
I already know
I know I don’t
Tell you enough
Preferring to make
Remarks off the cuff
But I do love you,
You know
When I asked
If you still loved me
You should’ve just said
Absolutely not
Now all that’s stemmed
From your lying
Is a whole heap of crying
And both of us losing
The plot
I felt sorry for him
The boy on the train
Said he’d ran away
From school again
Told me his parents
Just didn’t care
There was nothing,
But misery,
For him there
As he followed her
She panicked
Is this my time to die?
I wonder what I’ll have for tea
He thought
As he just strolled on by
(Inspired by a writing prompt offered by Michael at https://afterwards.blog)
If it’s
So fucking easy
Then go out
And get your own
You be all bright
And breezy
And see what kindness
You’re shown
If I tell you
That I’m through
Then you don’t need to protect me
But if I say
That I’m ok
Then you really do need to worry
You cannot hide it
Or simply deny it
Because even if you try it
I’ll most certainly find it
In amongst
All the bullshit
There’s one thing
That’s still true
I might scream and curse
And make matters worse
But I’ll never be a cunt
Like you
My poems are not
Very nice
Particularly warm,
Or fuzzy
But they do resonate
With those desolate
And who prefer their words
Bloody
At least I came
And I tried
“Let’s do this again”
She totally lied
Dressed in black
I’ll stand there
Watching,
From afar
Just to see who
Was telling the truth
And who the liars
Really are
What would you like
For Christmas he asked
His smile
A million miles wide
I just need the strength
To carry on
She wholeheartedly replied
What a ridiculous way
To spend a day
Let alone
A lifetime
Turning up here
An armful of beer
The epitome of niceness
But the look on your face
As I call you a disgrace
Is absolutely fucking priceless
Things can only get better
He said
If you keep up this attitude
It’ll be gone within the day
She said
Along with my good mood
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