"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
I remembered what
It was like today
Back when that pain
Gnawed away
When his death broke me
To the sum of my parts
And my mental health
Was off the charts
And although with her
I did empathise
I couldn’t be false
Or tell her lies
So I whispered the truth
As I’ve come to accept it
Although time does heal
It can never correct it
Do as I say
Not as I do
Words I really
Should have tattooed
Have you done this before
He said
As you’re really rather good
Some things wouldn’t be right to share
She said
Even if I could
I’ve seen what lurks
Inside you
Despite what you’re trying
To show
And it’s clear, in fact
Your crawling back
Just confirms what
I already know
I know I don’t
Tell you enough
Preferring to make
Remarks off the cuff
But I do love you,
You know
When I asked
If you still loved me
You should’ve just said
Absolutely not
Now all that’s stemmed
From your lying
Is a whole heap of crying
And both of us losing
The plot
I felt sorry for him
The boy on the train
Said he’d ran away
From school again
Told me his parents
Just didn’t care
There was nothing,
But misery,
For him there
As he followed her
She panicked
Is this my time to die?
I wonder what I’ll have for tea
He thought
As he just strolled on by
(Inspired by a writing prompt offered by Michael at https://afterwards.blog)
If it’s
So fucking easy
Then go out
And get your own
You be all bright
And breezy
And see what kindness
You’re shown
If I tell you
That I’m through
Then you don’t need to protect me
But if I say
That I’m ok
Then you really do need to worry
You cannot hide it
Or simply deny it
Because even if you try it
I’ll most certainly find it
In amongst
All the bullshit
There’s one thing
That’s still true
I might scream and curse
And make matters worse
But I’ll never be a cunt
Like you
My poems are not
Very nice
Particularly warm,
Or fuzzy
But they do resonate
With those desolate
And who prefer their words
Bloody
At least I came
And I tried
“Let’s do this again”
She totally lied
Dressed in black
I’ll stand there
Watching,
From afar
Just to see who
Was telling the truth
And who the liars
Really are
What would you like
For Christmas he asked
His smile
A million miles wide
I just need the strength
To carry on
She wholeheartedly replied
What a ridiculous way
To spend a day
Let alone
A lifetime
Turning up here
An armful of beer
The epitome of niceness
But the look on your face
As I call you a disgrace
Is absolutely fucking priceless
Things can only get better
He said
If you keep up this attitude
It’ll be gone within the day
She said
Along with my good mood
That’s really amazing news
She said
I’m so very pleased for you
Now let’s just leave it there
She said
As you wouldn’t want the truth
I know that it must seem
She said
Like I’m arrogant and self centered
But that’s not it at all
She said
I just write how I feel uncensored
I don’t care
That you didn’t mean it
Or if just to deflect
You moved to attack
As now I know how you seethe
Underneath
And you can never take that back
With my head at rest
On the chopping block
I now think it best
That I start to talk
I didn’t tell you
All back then
So don’t think
That I’ll talk now
Just because
You’ve changed your tune
Doesn’t mean
You’ve won me round
If you should ever fall
He said
Then I’d be here to catch you
Well you’ll need pretty strong arms
She said
With legs to match them too
Save your cheers
Your whoops and applause
I don’t deserve it
I’m inherently flawed
And please don’t say
That’s why you love me
Because that’s even worse
Than just clapping would be
The hardest part
About being depressed
Isn’t crying
Every day
The hardest part
About being depressed
Is pretending
You’re OK
I’ll never have
The perfect body
I’ll always be
An imperfect soul
So to get through each day
Without further decay
That
Is the fucking goal
You’ll say
You didn’t mean it
And it was
An honest mistake
But you’re a shit actress,
Quite frankly
So I know exactly
Just what point
You were trying to make
No one cares
In the end
Not even family
Or your friends
You say that I am crazy
And always take things
To extremes
But I know full well
That you lie to me
Even in my dreams
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 
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