"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
I have said
Time and time again
“That’s it – I’ve had enough”
But it proves pointless
Time and time again
As leaving you is just too tough
‘It’s In The Trees…’
How do I give you up
My drug of choice
You don’t stand a chance
Whispers the voice
(Originally Posted 31.05.2020)
I wish I could say
I’d never take you back
But if I did
I would be lying
You’ll always have a way
To knock me off track
Even without
You really trying
I Am My Own Temple
You only get one chance with me
And you blew it good and proper
Now it’s not about forgiveness
It’s all about my honour
(Originally Posted 30.05.2021)
As empty bottles clink
Into paper bags
My heart start to sink
And motivation flags
I was happy you came over
That much is true
Yet I can’t help but wish
She hadn’t left with you
More Or Less
I
guess
I am
happy
More
or
less
Even
though
I’m the
one
Left
cleaning
up the
mess
(Originally Posted 30.05.2020)
I never did tell him the truth
Of where I went that day
But even though I did it
I’m glad I hid it
As I could never hurt him that way
Deceit
Lying to
myself
is bad
enough
But
lying
to you
hurts
more
But
there’s
no way
I could
be truthful
That’s
for
fucking
sure
(Originally Posted 29.05.2020)
I spent much of 2020
In a drug induced dwam
I found the only way
To cope with each day
Was to eat diazepam
Going Over
And
then
it
hits
Like
a ton
of
bricks
And
I don’t
feel a
thing
(Originally Posted 29.05.2020)
That day you decided
To take it all from me
Yet all you actually provided
Was the route to set me free
You Know Nothing
I do not want your pity
Your sympathy is of no use
I care nothing for your tears
As your grief is just an excuse
(Originally Posted 29.05.2019)
Crying in the chapel
Many years ago
Missing you intently
And wishing it wasn’t so
Granite
I wish
you were
with me
Gently
squeezing
my hand
Providing
me with
comfort
Helping me
understand
(Originally Posted 28.05.2020)
As I lie with yet another
Notch on my bed post
I am grateful for a lover
But that’s as far as it goes
Just Another Fish
I suppose
I should
make it
clear
Right
from the
very
start
You may
delight
my
body
But you
will never
have my
heart
(Originally Posted 28.05.2020)
No matter what
Problem you have
Or whatever the issue
May be
There isn’t anything
That can’t be fixed
By an old fashioned
Cup of tea
Sacrilege
I didn’t think
There was anything else
You could do to anger me
But then you go
And confront me with
A fucking awful cup of tea
(Originally Posted 27.05.2021)
Seventy three thousand words now
And I haven’t improved very much
It’s a good job those who read me
Aren’t ones too quick to judge
You’re Too Kind
Thirty
six
thousand
words
And
each
one of
them
shite
But now
I’ve
passed
one
thousand
followers
I
must
be doing
something
right
(Originally Posted 27.05.2020)
So I’m hearing you say you feel empty
He said
Could you expand further on this
Haven’t you heard enough
She said
To put an end to this bullshit
Such A Cliché
I don’t
know if
you’re
aware
She
said
But
I’ve
been
feeling
rather
down
Let me
fetch my
notebook
He
said
Reaching
forward
with a
frown
(Originally Posted 26.05.2020)
I hear you have moved on since then
And got yourself a job
I wonder when others
Will see your true colours
And agree you’re a fucking snob
Supercilious Bint
Carry on ‘studying’
For your Mickey Mouse degree
But just know whatever happens
You’ll never be better than me
(Originally Posted 26.06.2020)
As we sit
On the bus each day
I cannot help
But look your way
Wondering when
You’ll break away
And hoping that
You’ll be OK
Inkling
I think you feel
The way I do
That your heart beats
Like mine does too
That your mind wanders
On a similar path to me
That you also dream
Of when you’ll be free
(Originally Posted 25.05.2020)
If only I wasn’t risk averse
My world would open up
If only I wasn’t risk averse
I could see more of life closeup
Deep Breaths
Maybe
you’ll
change
your
mind
Or
maybe
you
won’t
But
one
thing
is for
sure
You’ll
regret
it if
you
don’t
(Originally Posted 25.05.2020)
If only I was risk averse
I would avoid these situations
If only I was risk averse
I could lay better foundations
Unhappy Endings
I wish
we’d never
started this.
Then we
wouldn’t have
to end it.
(Originally Posted 25.05.2019)
You should look for someone else
They say
Now time’s moved on a bit
I wouldn’t know where to start
I say
Or where in my head they’d fit
HeadRoom
I
did
not
realise
That
space
in my
head
Would
still be
filled
by you
Even
though
you’re
dead
(Originally Posted 24.05.2020)
Crying because I was happy
Crying because I was sad
Crying because I had lost
The best friend I’d ever had
Joy and Sadness
Resisting
the urge
to cry
today
is futile.
(Originally Posted 24.05.2019)
Thank God
I never gave him this
As I don’t think
He’d have ever recovered
Young love is such
A fickle thing
As I’m sure
He’s since discovered
(I’m Not In) Love Letters
I read,
read
and
read it
again
But it
doesnt
change
a thing
I can’t
take
back
what
I wrote
Or
remove
it’s
sting
(Originally Posted 23.05.2020)
When I sat down and wrote this one
Everyone else was at the bar
(In the grand scheme of things that day
We hadn’t travelled very far)
Whilst I waited for my drink
I plastered on a smile
Wishing I was anywhere but
En route to the Emerald Isle
The Airport Lounge
It doesn’t matter how loud people are
They never drown out the voices inside my head.
(Originally Posted 23.05.2019)
I’d never use that word lightly
Or just for its shock value
In fact, I only ever use it rightly
And that’s when I’m describing you
Dumped
All
those
times
I was
there
for
you
I
never
asked
for a
thing
in return
Well
you’re
on your
own
You
self
righteous
cunt
So
now
perhaps
you’ll
learn
(Originally Posted 22.05.2020)
You will never stand
At my grave and weep
As you’ll never know
Where it is
Animosity
You can
keep your
feigned apology
For your
friendship
now means
nothing to me
I shall
live without
you merrily
Waiting for
the day
everyone
will see
Just how
wicked and
cruel you
can be
(Originally Posted 22.05.2019)
If you lowered your expectations
I reckon we’d be OK
But if you feel it integeral
To keep me on that pedestal
It’ll only end in dismay
‘All The Time…’
If I
could
be
Who
you
want
Me
to
be
Perhaps
then
we
Would
both be
happy
(Originally Posted 21.05.2020)
Maybe it wasn’t a prison
But it certainly felt like it
I’d do anything not to go back there
Even if that means faking it
Climbing The Walls
Let
me
out
She
said
You
cannot
keep me
here
I
think
you’ll
find we
can
He
said
The
law is
very
clear
(Originally Posted 21.05.2020)
I had a lot of fun that day
And I looked beautiful too
Yet on the hour, every hour
I cried alone in the loo
Wedding Bells
Who knows
what will happen
when I get there.
Who knows
what will happen
along the way.
What I do know
is that you
won’t be there.
And my tears
will fall
all day.
(Originally Posted 21.05.2019)
It isn’t just restricting
That should raise a red flag
Sometimes when you’re binging
It can be just as bad
Once More For The Cheap Seats
If
only
I was
wasting
away
Maybe
it would
be easier
to explain
Why my
heart is
broken and
my tongue
is tied
And
I live
each day
in pain
(Originally Posted 20.05.2020)
I’m not drunk
She says
It’s all in your head
I know you’re lying
She says
I’ve seen under your bed
Mother’s Ruin
As
the rot
starts
to set
in
I
pour
myself
another
gin
To
silence
the pain
in my
head
As
the
thoughts
seem to
shift
My
mood
starts
to
lift
And
I can
finally
get out
of bed
(Originally Posted 20.05.2020)
I was obviously aiming
For something highbrow
Yet I fear this one
Misses the mark somehow
I’ve gotten better, I hope,
And developed this skill
So these words I can now
Consign to landfill
Underground
As
sinister
shadows
loom,
I
see
my
tomb.
Through
the
gloom,
my
dreams
resume.
(Originally Posted 20.05.2019)
I said this out loud
Believe it or not
Once, in a hospital
That time forgot
Back then I was sick
And definitely tired
As all my issues
Felt pretty hard wired
The poor therapist
Didn’t know where to look
As she scribbled about me
In her hard backed book
The room fell silent
Apart from one boy
Who looked up and smiled
And I jumped for joy
Someone finally understood me
Somebody else felt my pain
So we went and smoked cigarettes
Until group therapy started again
Group Therapy
I’m
glad
you
find
it
helpful
But I
certainly
do not
What’s
the
point
in
telling
tales
When
you’ve
already
lost
the
plot?
(Originally Posted 19.05.2020)
Can’t you change things up
He said
All you do is bitch and whine
I honestly would if I could
She said
As I bore myself half the time
Myself
Why can’t I trust myself,
like I trusted you?
Why can’t I protect myself,
like I protected you?
Why can’t I love myself,
like I loved you?
Why?
(Originally Posted 19.05.2019)
Sometimes
The words I use
Are not deliberately explicit
Sometimes
The words I choose
Are inherently implicit
Overpowered
It is
not
only
my
heart
that
bleeds
As
you
take
care
of
your
own
needs
(Originally Posted 18.05.2020)
I’d still rather have you
Both ways
Than to never have had you
At all
The Past
Some days
it’s easy
to remember
you
Some days
it’s hard
to forget
you
Some days
I don’t want
to remember
you
Some days
I never want
to forget
you
(Originally Posted 18.05.2019)
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 
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