"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
As if all I do
Is wander around
And weep into the rain
When I really feel blue
To my bed I am bound
As that is my real domain
Grey Days
I love
walking
on grey days
The raindrops
land on my face
and mingle with
my tears
Hiding them
from prying
eyes
(Originally Posted 02.05.2019)
I have been here
Just over three years
With 2,500 posts to boot
So if you still don’t know
To expect a shit show
Then there’s nothing else I can do
Brutal Is My Middle Name
And honest
Is my first
Do not bother
Reading on
Without expecting
The worst
(Originally Posted 01.05.2020)
I’ve said this many times
Mainly to my psychiatrist
For it is he who,
In my opinion,
Sould remain the quietest
No Idea
Stop asking me questions
When you are in no way prepared for the answers
(Originally Posted 01.05.2019)
I can’t quite believe
All the time I wasted
Trying to be perfect
When all I created
Was a lie
Bruised
It’s
OK
You
can
say
it
After
all
it’s
true
I
know
you
never
Really
loved
me
Like
how
I loved
you
(Originally Posted 30.04.2020)
That is the difference
Between you and me
I have no interest
In all of this
Whilst you are happy to be
The Silent Killer
I’m just sitting here,
Waiting it out,
Biding my time.
Soon,
The axe will fall.
And it’ll all be over.
Thankfully.
(Originally Posted 30.04.2019)
If I ever write
A book on grief
This will be
The only page
Grief 101
Just smile and nod
Even if what they say
Makes no fucking sense.
It’s better to be polite,
After all,
Than to punch people
In the face.
(Originally Posted 29.04.2019)
If only you knew
All the shit I was buying
Just to see you
On my doorstep smiling
I’d be off your route
Immediately
The Delivery Man
You have no idea,
How much your sideways glance,
Hauls my weary heart,
Through yet another,
Lonely day…
(Originally Posted 29.04.2019)
I don’t remember where this was
Or which comedian I was bashing
But I hope they could see
It wasn’t them, but me
That was the reason I wasn’t laughing
Row 3 Seat 5
I don’t know
who said you
were funny
But I think
you’re pretty
witless
This really
wasn’t worth
the money
As I’m sitting
here bored
shitless
(Originally Posted 29.04.2020)
It’ll be you next
When the music stops
So I’ll look away
As your heart drops
An Unwanted Gift
You’ll always carry it with you,
the pain.
You can try to wrap it differently.
Use an alternative box,
choose a shiny wrapping paper.
Secure it with ribbon,
Even glue on a fucking huge bow,
if you like.
But you’ll still carry it with you,
the pain.
Like a gaudy present nobody wants to open.
An unwanted gift you can never return.
(Originally Posted 28.04.2019)
There is a fine line
She said
Between charm and bullshit
Get me another beer
She said
And we’ll see if you can find it
The Mutual Appreciation Society
Pour
yourself
a drink
And come
sit with me
Let’s tell
each other
stories
Of how we’re
meant to be
(Originally Posted 28.04.2020)
Was it real
Was it true?
Or was it just
My version of you?
Ambiguity
Is
it
real
What
you
see?
Or
is it
just
Your
version
of me?
(Originally Posted 27.04.2020)
Upon my skin
Those scars abound
A better release
I’ve never found
Precision
Just be
careful
not to
slip
Not one
ounce of
blood to
drip
For you
do not want
them to
see
Just how
messed
up you
can be
(Originally Posted 27.04.2020)
I tried to forgive you
Once
But I didn’t quite succeed
So I tried to forget you
Twice
But I would never be freed
Promises
I promise myself
never again
every time
and every time
I believe it.
But the truth is
forgetting you is
a promise
I am powerless
to keep.
(Originally Posted 27.04.2019)
Yet the fantasy
That promises so much
Rarely delivers
In the end
IPA
Beer
Bridging the great divide
between dreams and reality
Since 1993
(Originally Posted 26.04.2019)
You have it all
In comparison to me
This has always been true
It’s why I’ll never be
Anything more
Than infinitely jealous of you
Lucky You
My head hurts,
Does yours?
My heart cries,
Does yours?
My body aches,
Does yours?
My soul dies,
Does yours?
How can it?
Your head
is as pretty
as a picture.
Your heart
is full
to bursting.
Your body
is as perfect
as a model,
And your soul
flies like an eagle
soaring high above
the rocky plains.
Lucky you.
(Originally Posted 26.04.2019)
Come once more
Into the darkness
Where we fellow heathens dwell
We’ll speak of our ills
And contemplate our thrills
As we cast out our spell
End Credits
Is that
it now
She
said
Can we
go back?
As I want
nothing more
Than to fade
to black
(Originally Posted 26.04.2020)
But there comes
A point
When enough
Is enough
Circles
Enough of you
is
too much
Too much of you
is
never enough
(Originally Posted 25.04.2019)
You should start a diary
He said
And we can talk it through next week
I’ve been keeping one for years
She said
If you’d like to sneak a peek
‘What’s Good For The Goose…’
Just write it down
He said
How hard can it be
But he had never encountered
Someone as fucked up as me
(Originally Posted 25.04.2020)
I do not look
Over my shoulder
For I am brave
I am bolder
You will not beat me
Any longer
Because I am better
I am stronger
Yearning
Time passes
Like a dream
In my mind
As I remember
Everything
I’ve left behind
(Originally Posted 25.04.2020)
She went to Glasgow
On Friday there
And was amazed at how much
She remembered
She intrinsically knew
She would live there again
Just as they had both intended
Head Over Heels
She
once
asked
Have
you
got a
light?
Then
never
went
home
After
that
night
(Originally Posted 24.04.2020)
Why bother saying in person
When you can say in a text
You don’t want to get
Back together
It’s just that you want sex
You’ll Need To Do Better Than That
Don’t
get me
wrong or
anything
It was
nice
to hear
from
you
But
you’ve
done
nothing
at all
to make
me believe
That
your
intentions
are true
(Originally Posted 24.04.2020)
My only wish
Is to see you again
As I really do miss you,
My friend
Maybe One Day
My body
decays
and
My mind
forgets
but
My heart
desires
and
My soul
awakens
(Originally Posted 23.04.2019)
I know you don’t
Want to live with me
But I hope one day
You can forgive me
For all that I
Have done and said
Since the day we met
And after we wed
Love Or Hate
It’s
hard
to
know
which
is
which
When
you
can
be
such
a
bitch
(Originally Posted 23.04.2020)
Why can’t it be
Like it is on TV
Where everyone lives happily
Ever after
Slap And Tickle
I
have
tried to
move on
My
feelings
for you
to shelve
But
it seems
when push
comes to
shove
I just
can’t
help
myself
(Originally Posted 22.04.2020)
No more fish and chips for you
Or a macaroni pie for me
It’s not the same
On my own
Sitting here by the sea
Bank Holidays
Days off
are always
difficult.
There’s
so much more
time to fill,
without you.
So many
memories
of what we
used to do.
At least
at work, I
get paid
to be
miserable.
(Originally Posted 22.04.2019)
Forever
She replied
You deserve eternal damnation
For what you have tried to hide
Upon The Cross
How long
Must I wait
For salvation?
(Originally Posted 21.04.2020)
Please do not look upon me
With your pity and dismay
For this last few years
Have taught me
Feelings aren’t shit anyway
Blackout
I
don’t
want
to feel
better
I
don’t
want
to feel
at all
(Originally Posted 21.04.2020)
Life will never be linear
He said
The path won’t always be straight
The trick is to just hold on
He said
And try your best to navigate
Trauma
But
you
were
doing
so well
He
said
I
don’t
quite
understand
Coming
back
from
hell
She
said
Doesn’t
always
go to
plan
(Originally Posted 20.04.2020)
You lived to see another day
He said
Why aren’t you happy about that
Because I had made my choice
She said
And in the end my plan fell flat
Lifeline
The rubber ring
floats
towards me.
Thank you
for throwing
it down.
But I have
no desire
to grab it.
The rocks
in my pocket
are all
I need.
(Originally Posted 20.04.2019)
Perhaps
I’m not so bad
At this poetry lark
After all
Interlude
Time has dragged on today
Even more than most
It started off quite well too
Sitting down with tea and toast
But then the clock seemed to stop
At some point this afternoon
When opening up my laptop
Did nothing to lift the gloom
And as the evening drew itself in
I have sat here all alone
Thouroughly bored in my own skin
Barely stifling a groan
So now I guess I’ll go to bed
And lie there on my own
Until the clock stops in my head
And I dream in monochrome
(Originally Posted 20.04.2020)
A line once stolen
From a show on TV
Reworked and rewritten
Now belongs to me
Transgressions
In the beginning
I would always try
To be as honest as I could be
But in the end I fell
So far from the truth
That the line was a dot to me
(Originally Posted 19.04.2021)
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 
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