"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
There’s no point explaining
What this one means
As I’d never get it right
But suffice it to say
I was blown away
By how I felt that night
Xxx
Big Star
The coincidence
Inexplicable
The evidence
Inadmissible
But I know it’s you
Xxx
(Originally Posted 13.01.2022)
Not even twelve hours
Between night shifts
I don’t get paid
Enough for this shit
Running On Empty
I am so tired
I want to go home
To sit in the quiet
All on my own
For I’ve had enough
Of this battle of wills
I just need some silence
To cure my ills
(Originally Posted 12.01.2021)
I’d rather just sit
In the corner and brood
As for your ‘humour’
I’m not in the mood
No Laughing Matter
I swear to you right now
On all that is good and holy
Your jokes rarely do anything
But kill me fucking slowly
(Originally Posted 12.01.2021)
Does the milk go in
First or last
And does it
Really matter
It tastes the same anyway
At the end of the day
But for me,
It’s always the latter
‘Two Lumps Please’
To
help me
through
this
misery
Perhaps
I’ll
make
a drink
That
is what
they
say,
isn’t it?
A cup
of tea
solves
everything?
(Originally Posted 11.01.2020)
Has it ever occured to you
He said
That the source of your discord
Is your inability
To end the hostility
By changing the fucking record?
‘My Only Friend, The End…’
We
mustn’t
ever
forget
She
said
That
the
worst
is yet
to come
How
bloody
long
exactly
He
said
Do you
plan to
bang
that
drum?
(Originally Posted 11.01.2021)
Not everyone finds it easy
To go out and be social
Some of us need
A little time to breathe
While considering
Such a proposal
Leave Me Alone
Although the walls
Are closing in
I have no desire
To leave
I don’t understand
Why you find that
So fucking hard
To believe
(Originally Posted 11.01.2021)
I don’t write
About nice things
Love and all that shit
If you want to read
About nice things
You won’t like this one bit
All That Matters
Not much of this is pretty
Very little here is smart
Quite often it is shitty
But it’s always from the heart
(Originally Posted 10.01.2021)
A family now
Torn apart
Proved fertile ground
For my art
Finding Fault
All
you
do
He
said
Is
whine
and
moan
I’m
surprised
anyone
reads
this
pish
Well,
maybe
if you
She
said
Weren’t
such a
prick
My
words
wouldn’t
so easily
flourish
(Originally Posted 10.01.2021)
We hate it
They say
When you act that way
Hurting yourself
Really saddens us
If only
I say
There was another way
As this is hardly
Fucking glamorous
Unsafe Thoughts
Please,
take
away
my
knives
And put
those
razors
in the
bin
For
the
urge
to cut
is rising
To
bleed
out the
pain
within
(Originally Posted 09.01.2020)
How many more lies
Do you think we’ll tell
Before we’re both sent
Straight to hell
No Witnesses
If no one saw
But us two
Then who is to say
It happened
If we promise
Never to tell
Then no one else
Need ever be saddened
(Originally Posted 09.01.2022)
If only there
Was a way
To make the dream
A reality
But any hope of that
Was cruelly dashed
When you upped
And left me
Nocturnal Naughtiness
You
were
in my
dreams
last night
We
kissed
longingly
by the
fire
And
although
I woke
with
contented
delight
It
didn’t
quite
quench
my desire
(Originally Posted 08.01.2020)
There’s no need to instruct me
I have no inclination to wait
Now that I know you trust me
On your pleasure I will fixate
A Bit Of Rough
Throw me onto the bed
Dear boy
Your body on mine impose
For a meeting of minds
Is not required
Let alone
An entwinement of souls
(Originally Posted 08.01.2021)
I guess I’ve always felt
That little bit better
When I’m in amongst
Those words and letters
Safe in my own
Little fantasy world
Where my peace and quiet
Is undisturbed
The Window Seat
There’s
people,
people,
everywhere
Dashing
around
without
a care
Or,
at least,
that’s how
it looks
When I
glance up
from behind
my books
(Originally Posted 08.01.2020)
As I have beaten
My adversary
This will all end
In February
How Long?
How long
can you
go on
writing
When
your only
inspiration
is spite?
And now
you’ve had
to start
forgiving
So that
you can
sleep
at night
(Originally Posted 07.01.2020)
I found a way
In the end
I put them all in the bin
Now I only wince
If I catch a glimpse
Of those that I keep within
I Can’t Wait
I can’t
wait for
the day
When I
no longer
wince
At
every
glimpse
Of
your
photo
(Originally Posted 07.01.2020)
Even if I wanted
To get up
And seize the day
It’s far too cold
For one so old
Outside anyway
Anhedonic
Trying
hard
to
survive
This
thing
called
life
Hoping
to fend
off the
madness
Striving
to find
Some peace
of mind
Underneath
this
duvet of
sadness
(Originally Posted 06.01.2020)
They say I’d maybe get further
If I lowered my tone a bit
But there’s no way of keeping quiet
About all of his bullshit
Screaming
I know that it seems
A little strange
And it’s hard
To confabulate
But please believe me
When I say
It’s how I best
Communicate
(Originally Posted 06.01.2022)
And as you get older
Little by little
You begin to realise
That shit’s cyclical
Wars Of Attrition
Some people stay together
And hate every second of it
But as they’re bound by tradition
They put up with each others shit
They’re worn down day after day
But are far too scared to leave
For of a life full of happiness
They cannot possibly conceive
(Originally Posted 06.01.2021)
Whether it’s from
The scars on my arms
Or from the words
That I have written
I think it may be best
If I take a rest
And go back
To keeping them hidden
Cutting
I scythe these words
Across the page
To allow my pain to flow
I find it leaves
Much less of a scar
Than some other ways I know
(Originally Posted 05.01.2021)
No matter how
I try to improve
Or alter my behaviour
It seems I’m destined
To forever seek
The beauty in my failure
In Vain
Each
time
I try
I always
seem
to fail
Spectacularly
(Originally Posted 05.01.2020)
All these years
I’ve been writing
Calling you each
And every name
But perhaps I’ve been mean
Because it’s actually been
My attempt
To shift the blame
Who Gives A Shit
Have
I done
The
wrong
thing
again?
I
suppose
only
time
Will
tell
Until
then
I’ll try
To keep
myself
sane
While
I prepare
To
burn
in hell
(Originally Posted 04.01.2020)
You think that when
Someone dies
It’s the big things
That you’ll miss
But what causes pain
To grieving brain
Is missing the small things
That they did
Even A Broken Clock Is Right Twice A Day
I can’t
even
change
The time
on the
oven
It’s just
one more
thing
I have
discovered
Since
you’ve
gone
(Originally Posted 04.01.2020)
What we did in that room
Despite our gloom
Certainly served its purpose
Now all those things we said
Lying in that bed
Need never again resurface
Unobtainable
Maybe one day we’ll meet again
And maybe one day we won’t
But one things for sure
It won’t be for much more
Than either of us had hoped
(Originally Posted 04.01.2021)
That really does sound lovely
She said
But I can’t come out to play
Depression wins again
She said
Much to my dismay
An Illicit Kiss
I can’t
think of
anything
more
exciting
Than
sitting
under
subdued
lighting
With
your
lips
pressed
to mine
That
feeling,
divine
Now
doesn’t
that
sound
inviting?
(Originally Posted 03.01.2020)
All those years
Spent with you
Silently
Being driven mad
But there’s no denying
(So it’s pointless trying)
That they were the best
I’ve ever had
Taking Things For Granted
I always
thought
being
with you
was hell
Seems
the boredom
of being
without you
is worse
Xxx
(Originally Posted 03.01.2022)
I still loved you
Down to your bones
Even without
Those dulcet tones
Xxx
Robbed
I wish
you
could
have
spoken
Right
at
the
very
end
I’ll
miss
that
sound
forever
The
voice
of my
best
friend
(Originally Posted 03.01.2020)
Sleep at 3pm
No problem
But at 3am
Not a chance
What the fuck
Is wrong
With me
That sleep
At night
Just won’t
Advance
The Insomniac’s Paradox
Why should I bother
Going to bed
When there’s nothing
To wake up for
Why should I bother
Waking up
When I enjoy sleeping
So much more
(Originally Posted 03.01.2021)
It seems I missed
The trip that day
You went
To the optimism farm
I was probably at home
With an ‘on silent’ phone
Sleeping soundly
Through the alarm
Optimism
If I
had
any
spare
I’d
give
some
to you
But
I only
have
enough
To
get
myself
through
This
bullshit
they call
life
(Originally Posted 03.01.2020)
I know you put
A brave face on
I know as I did it
Myself
Not just because
You’re thinking of others
But more to protect
Yourself
Are You Okay?
I want to ask
But I’m far too scared
For I already know
As into those depths
I’ve stared
(Originally Posted 02.01.2020)
Who cares if I stayed in bed all day
Watching The World’s Strongest Man
I did it because I enjoy it
I did it because I can
Out With The Old…
At least yesterday
I missed your feast
It was always the part
I liked the least
Faking a smile
Whilst passing the peas
Thank fuck that now
I can eat in peace
(Originally Posted 02.01.2020)
Your question may have been rhetorical
She said
But I fear that you’ve angered fate
So you’d better take it back
She said
Before it proves to be too late
Shit Show
It
can’t
get
much
worse,
can it?
He
said
Than
the
year
that
has
just
passed
Well
you’ve
fucking
jinxed
it
now
She
said
That
you’ve
gone
and
bloody
asked!
(Originally Posted 02.01.2020)
It’s funny to see
How a younger me
Struggled with her
Own company
Yet now I love
To live that way
On New Year’s Eve
Or any other day
For Whom The Bell Tolls
I’m not ashamed
to admit
I shed a tear or
two last night
As the clock
struck twelve
It was all
a bit shit
Sitting here
by myself
(Originally Posted 01.01.2020)
We’ve reached that time
In our run
Where things are beginning
To come undone
Words once so profound
Are now old and cruddy
Our parts played mostly
By the understudy
It’s such a shame
To see it end this way
And that soon our house
Will stage a different play
Theatrics
Of the love
I feel for you
I have never been
More certain
So much so
It is now time
To drop
The safety curtain
So then we can
With a fiery gusto
Both just get on
With performing our show
(Originally Posted 01.01.2021)
I hope you don’t
Just mean your hair
But your personality too
For you’ve been such
A miserable cunt
Throughout 2022
A Change Is As Good As A Rest
A
new
year
begins
Bringing
with it a
new look
I really
hope you
like it
Considering
how long
it took
(Originally Posted 01.01.2020)
Let’s do something
She said
Different this year
I’ve had enough
Of drinking beer
I don’t mind
He said
Whatever we do
As long as it involves
Me and you
Hogmanay (Part 3)
Time
Creeping
Mine
Sweeping
Dicks
Sleeping
Women
Weeping
Hogmanay 2020 (Part 2)
Staring into a new year
Together
Holding hands
I can’t believe
Out of everyone
It’s you who understands
Hogmanay 2020 (Part 1)
I’ll give you one day
Where the sun will shine
And that day is Friday
This week
But after that
It’ll all fall flat
And it’s back
To the future that’s bleak
(Originally Posted 31.12.2020)
It’ll most likely be
Like the last four
Wondering what the fuck
I stuck around for
20/20
However
will I
make it
through
Another
year
without
you?
(Originally Posted 31.12.2019)
Yet
I know
I’ll
never be
absolved
For our
friendship
now is
all but
dissolved
New Year’s Eve(n)
Nothing
will
ever be
resolved
Until from
all blame,
I am
absolved
(Originally Posted 31.12.2019)
It’s not that I don’t want to
He said
But we have been here before
I can’t give you what you need
She said
So I won’t ask you any more
It’s Not Real
I think
I love
you
He
said
But
I cannot
wait
If you
loved
me
She
said
You
wouldn’t
hesitate
(Originally Posted 30.12.2019)
Grief affects everyone
In many different ways
Yet some among us
Prove lucky enough
To escape the daily malaise
Poles Apart
I still cry myself to sleep
Not that you’d know
You selfish creep
You think because
We all lost him
That we both feel the same
But you haven’t got
A fucking clue
Of how I live each day in pain
(Originally Posted 30.12.2020)
To be honest
I always knew
Psychopathy
Was your main trait
It’s just a shame
That I played your game
Losing out
When it was too late
Psychopathic
Looking through old photos
It’s only now I’m struck
By how much your eyes
Betray your lies
And your smile is fake as fuck
(Originally Posted 29.12.2020)
My heart
May well
Be locked
Away
But my body
Is not
So come on
Over
If you like
And let’s see
What
You’ve got
Tough Shit
You can
try it on
all you
like
But
we can
never be
together
For my
heart
belongs
to another
And it
will stay
that way
forever
(Originally Posted 29.12.2019)
I know it’s only
One year on
But I’m still quite proud
Of this
Yet if I’ve had one thought
It’s that I should’ve sought
A better word
To rhyme with Elvis
Until Next Year…
As the calendar page turns once more
We are granted our reprieve
Thank you so much Mariah
Now you can fucking leave
Take that whiny choirboy with you
And that dick who thinks he’s Elvis
Bing and Bowie can piss off too
With their ‘pa rum pum pum pum’ bullshit
We’re happy to wave you off John
Although your message is appreciated
Best take your mate Paul with you though
Before we have his keyboard castrated
It’s time to step out and away now Elton
With The Jacksons, Jonah and Chuck
And as for the ‘NYPD choir’
We couldn’t give less of a fuck
We’ll really only miss you George
Like we do nearly every day
So perhaps, this year, we could keep you
Instead of giving you away
(Originally Posted 29.12.2021)
I’d love to say
That things have changed
And I no longer feel
So hopeless
But the intervening time
Since writing this rhyme
Has been equally
As atrocious
Nothing
Nothing makes
me happy
Nothing makes
me smile
There’s nothing left
to look forward to
At least nothing that
feels worthwhile
(Originally Posted 28.12.2019)
He was right
As it turns out
As it only took me
A minute
To abandon the joy
I’d tried to employ
As I had reached
My limit
Whatever You Say
I’m going to be happy today
She said
And push this sadness from my mind
I’ll give you half an hour
He said
And even then that’s being kind
(Originally Posted 28.12.2021)
Of course I remember
How it feels
Down to the very last letter
But it wouldn’t matter
What I tried
Nothing can make it better
Utterly Helpless
I really wish
I could do more
Like pick you up
from the bathroom floor
Hug you when
your heart is breaking
Give you comfort
when your bones are aching
But for as much as
your pain to me is known
This is a journey
you must walk alone
(Originally Posted 27.12.2019)
There was nothing else
That I could do
Nothing else
That I could say
Other than
To remind them all
That it’s just
Another day
Brutal Honesty
I wish
I could
take
Your
pain
away
Tell
you
everything
Will
be
okay
But
I know
the truth
It
doesn’t
get
better
When
what
you had
Is lost
forever
(Originally Posted 27.12.2019)
Only ever
Fleetingly happy
But always
Desperately sad
Forever trying
To be good
Whilst contemplating
Being bad
(Originally Posted 24.12.2019)
This is my favorite time of year
He said
With these scents of cinnamon and pine
As I endure the merriment of others
She said
I thank fuck for cheese and wine
(Originally Posted 24.12.2021)
I can’t
wait to
go home
This year
I just wish
you were
coming
with me
Xxx
(Originally Posted 24.12.2019)
This new one
Is my favourite
Of all those pills
And potions
As it leaves me feeling
Numb inside
And just going
Through the motions
Regime #7
These
pills
have
stopped
working
They
are now
simply
a token
As
they
don’t
take away
the hurting
From a
heart
that’s
truly
broken
(Originally Posted 23.12.2019)
If some of my poems
Are humorous
Albeit
A little dark
This one
Is deadly serious
And not just
A flippant remark
Hanging Around
I know it’s there
In the shed
Waiting for when
I choose death instead
(Originally Posted 23.12.2020)
Some people must think
My words are so bleak
That they no longer
Wish to scroll
But all I see
With poems like these
Is a humour
As black as coal
‘Mistletoe & Whine’
Just piss
off with your
Christmas shit
All this
Ho, Ho,
Fucking Ho…
Not
everyone
appreciates it
Some of us
are depressed,
you know
(Originally Posted 23.12.2019)
It’s the time of year
Again
For that age old
Platitude
The one I’m expected
To receive
With a kindly
Gratitude
“It must be hard for you”
They say
“Especially at this time of year”
I want
To say
It’s hard
Every day
But that’s not
What they want to hear
Who The Fuck Are ‘They’ Anyway?
Time heals
Or so they say
Well, let me tell you
They fucking lie
Time does nothing
But march on
And you’re left
With no right to reply
(Originally Posted 22.12.2021)
I’m not sure
Who suffers more
Those who are
Oblivious
Or those who know
What’s in store
Identity Crisis
In
some
ways
losing
myself
has
been
harder
than
losing
you
(Originally Posted 22.12.2019)
I’d obviously been reading
A lot of Stevie Smith
So much so, it seems,
That I ripped her off a bit
Strong Currents
I’m all
at sea
But no one
sees me
Gesticulating
wildly
Against
the tide
(Originally Posted 21.12.2019)
Run around
Jump up and down
That arrogant prick
Has just left town
As it turns out
He was a brutish lout
Intent on flinging my heart about
Next time I’ll know
Not to lower my wall
And for romantic bullshit
I will not fall
Quickstep
Run around
Jump up and down
There’s a new love in town!
He’s really neat
And ever so sweet
This black heart skips a beat
I think that now
I’m ready for more
As I wait for him to whisk me
Across the dancefloor
(Originally Posted 21.12.2020)
I don’t need this, any more
I’m doing a lot better
She said
Now I just hear screaming
Once or twice a week
And only inside my head
The Circus Is Back In Town
I wish
I spent
more time
sleeping
Instead
of all
this
weeping
It would
be nice to
do some
dreaming
As
opposed
to all this
screaming
(Originally Posted 21.12.2019)
Full of your own
Self importance
Never short
Of a winning performance
You had vanity at your core
All those years
You implored us
Until that day
We saw your distortions
And I walked out the door
I’m Fine Thanks
I’m sorry you think I’ve missed you
As I haven’t given one fuck
If you thought you mattered
And my life is shattered
Well then, you’re shit out of luck
(Originally Posted 20.12.2021)
I used to be
Quite kindly
Cheerful
And fresh of face
Then something happened
That kicked off a pattern
Of both misery
And disgrace
Pedestals
They say you don’t know
What you mean to people
Whom you may never see
Well all I can say
Is I hope and pray
That no one relies on me
(Originally Posted 20.12.2020)
All those years
All those lists
When all I wanted
Was to eat and get pissed
Thoughtless
Not only is it the time of year for giving
But the time for receiving too
You’ve no idea how glad I am
There’s no more bullshit gifts from you
(Originally Posted 19.12.2020)
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 
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