"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
What can you do
When you’ve been mistaken
When you realise your life
You have forsaken
When you can’t go back
And start again
When it’s only regret
That does now remain
Double Take
It’s only
now I
realise
I’ve
played
this all
wrong
And it
actually
should
have
been
you all
along
(Originally Posted 20.09.2019)
I used to think
When I was a kid
I can’t wait to live by myself
I will do
Whatever I want
Take my opportunity to rebel
But there’s another side
To living alone
When you no longer have another
To share your home
What I never envisaged
All those years ago
Was that my only company now
Would be the radio
Home Alone
It’s Friday night
And I’m here alone
In this house
We used to call home
There’s nothing left now
Just an empty shell
With only me here
Living through hell
(Originally Posted 20.09.2019)
It was the last round
Music, of course
When I’d already sunk a few
But it was my knowledge
Of old Liverpudlian Soul
That really pulled us through
The Pub Quiz
What was I saying?
What was I..?
Ach, don’t mind me,
I’m drunk.
*Hic*.
(Originally Posted 20.09.2019)
Go well my friend
Into the night
Through the darkness
To find the light
The Trade Off
It’s with a heavy heart
And a mournful sigh
That the time has come
To say our goodbye
I’m eternally grateful
For all you have done
For you soothed my pain
And left me with none
(Originally Posted 20.09.2019)
To be fair
I have gotten better
I can look at a photo
Or read a letter
But I find it best
Not to get too immersed
Because, after all,
It still fucking hurts
Wall Art
I can’t
look at
your
photos
anymore
They make
my heart
too heavy
and my eyes
too sore
(Originally Posted 20.09.2019)
I still don’t really understand
Why I was left feeling so at sea
As I was always the one
Who steadied our ship
It’s not like you ever looked after me
Without You
Life
is just
shit
without
you
I’ve got
nothing
left to
hold
on to
If
only
you were
still
here
Then I’d
have
nothing
left
to fear
(Originally Posted 19.09.2019)
Once, I thought
I had no choice
But my innermost feeling to hide
But now I know
That given room to grow
I can wear my scars with pride
Another Notch
A
little
nick
here
A
little
cut
there
It
doesn’t
hurt
anymore
Not
that
I’d
care…
(Originally Posted 19.09.2019)
The title says it all
She said
There’s nothing else to know
Sometimes there’s no big mystery
She said
It is just my truth on show
Bleak As Fuck
I
told you
a lie
yesterday
I said
I felt better
and that
I’m okay
When the
actual truth
is I hope
and pray
That I
won’t live
another
day
(Originally Posted 19.09.2019)
You’ll be here all day
She said
There really isn’t much to find
Well I will never stop looking
He said
Until the end of time
Digging For Gold
Kindness
lives
within
you
He
said
Of
that
I am
the
judge
Then
by all
means
try to
find it
She
said
Beneath
the
fucking
sludge
(Originally Posted 18.09.2020)
I can’t help you anymore
He said
My mind is too conflicted
I completely understand
She said
This day I predicted
All My Fault
If there was
another way
of dealing
with this shit
I wish
now that
I could’ve
chosen it
Then I
wouldn’t have
relied so
much on you
And your
heart wouldn’t
also be torn
in two
(Originally Posted 18.09.2019)
You really have to stop hoping
She said
That all of this will end
To think you’ll ever be free
She said
Really is madness my friend
Sunrise
I woke
up crying
again today
So much so
I struggled
to breathe
How much
longer must
I endure this?
When is
there an end
to this grief
(Originally Posted 18.09.2019)
Do you think
He said
That you drink too much
Trust me
She said
It’s nowhere near enough
The Trouble With Juniper
Nobody
knows
the
trouble
I’ve seen
The loves
and the
losses and
everything
in-between
On one
too many
gin bottles
I have
relied
To keep
all of my
secrets
hidden
inside
(Originally Posted 18.09.2019)
Modern medicine hasn’t helped
She said
No pill or therapy
Then you’ve done the right thing
It said
By coming to talk to me
Witchcraft
I thought
talking
would make
it easier
But if
anything
it’s made
it worse
It seems
there is
nothing
I can do
To rid
myself
of this
curse
(Originally Posted 18.09.2019)
I think you’ll find
We’re in charge now
We say when
We say how
No longer will we be
All small and meek
We will approach you
If it’s sex
We seek
Too Late
You
only
want
me
now
Because
he
says
he
does
Well
you
had
your
chance
But
you
rebuffed
my
advance
So go
jump
in front
of a
bus
(Originally Posted 17.09.2020)
She never did see it
And now you’re apart
You have been left
With wounds that smart
If only you’d listened
To my remark
You could’ve saved yourself
The broken heart
You Deserve More
I wish you
could see
yourself with a
different view
And know
there are so
many things to
love about you
My only hope
is that she
will see it
again soon too
Then perhaps
you could both
just stop
making do
(Originally Posted 17.09.2019)
I used to care
About the truth
That the world should know
About my abuse
But I’m a better person now
Than those liars and frauds
So I’ll happily stay quiet
About my in laws
The Silver Medal
This
was
hardly
a fair
fight
And
we
both
know
who
rightfully
won
Yet
I’ll
step
graciously
aside
for
you
As
one
day
the
truth
will
come
(Originally Posted 17.09.2020)
I can actually remember this
Like it was yesterday
That night when I
Had had enough
And finally walked away
A New Dawn
Everything
changed
when I
walked out
of there
The feel of
the breeze
and the
warmth
of the air
For once
in my life
I just
stopped
fighting
And I
suddenly
found life
much more
inviting
(Originally Posted 17.09.2019)
Grief doesn’t come with a manual
And neither, you’ll find, does life
So you just have to go on
Now they’re gone
And hope that you stay alive
NUMB
I
didn’t
think
It
would
be
like
this
Whatever
this
is
(Originally Posted 17.09.2019)
Are you sure that you’re done
She said
You’re not even up for a fling?
I am absolutely sure
He said
I’m no longer ‘up’ for anything
A Solo Affair
I’m fine
by myself
without
all of
that
Just me
here
alone
in my
own flat
I don’t
need to
feel anyone
else’s
touch
As frankly
I never
really
liked it
much
(Originally Posted 16.09.2019)
Best thing I ever did
Was to cut you dead
Not just out of my life
But also out of my head
Done
Fuck you,
And your pathetic little smile.
Fuck you,
And your supercilious bile.
Fuck you,
And your disingenuous chatter.
Fuck you,
For you no longer matter,
At all,
To me.
(Originally Posted 16.09.2019)
I can clearly remember
Their wedding day
All of that promise
On display
It’s such a shame
It ended that way
And now love’s young dream
Has faded away
The(ir) Split
It’s
not
about
what
she
did
Or
what
he did
either
to be
fair
It’s
about
how
it has
made
me feel
As for
the
rest
I could
not
care
(Originally Posted 16.09.2020)
Especially now
The weather is turning
I wish our home fires
Were still burning
Slippers
I
miss
you
When
my
feet
are
cold
And
how
you
Would
always
warm
them
so
Xxx
(Originally Posted 16.09.2020)
To find out if
It’s eternal damnation
Is the worst kind
Of anticipation
Bad News
The
wait
is
almost
worse
than
the
call
itself
(Originally Posted 15.09.2020)
If only I actually was
This little minx that I portray
I’d get my coat and hat
And without looking back
Go have myself a field day
Fuck Buddies
I
won’t
always
be
here,
you
know
For
when
you
feel
the
need
to
ask
Not
while
there
are
more
dicks
to
blow
And
other
glows
in
which
to
bask
(Originally Posted 15.09.2020)
I’m sure that we can all recount
How we met our lovers
But some such stories
Of our former glories
Are more significant than others
Xxx
That Split Second
When I saw you
sleeping there
I couldn’t help
but stop and stare
Probably because
I was drunk too
Although nowhere
near as drunk as you
(Originally Posted 15.09.2019)
When feelings
Are so intrinsic
Language
Is best kept simplistic
Random #19
It
just
fucking
hurts
(Originally Posted 14.09.2019)
Will you still love me
When I am old and grey
Will you still want me
To touch you in that way
Will you still need me
To kiss you goodbye each day
Or will you just find someone else
And simply walk away
A Risky Business
We really
shouldn’t
do this,
she said,
it isn’t
the right
time
It’s now
or never,
he said,
for I’ll
soon be
past my
prime
(Originally Posted 14.09.2019)
The problem is
If I lay down
I’d no longer have an excuse
If I just stopped
And my guard dropped
Then all hell would break loose
Resurrection
If I
were
to see
you
again
I
wouldn’t
know
where
to start
So
perhaps
it’s
best
I lay
here
to
rest
And
nurse
my
broken
heart
(Originally Posted 14.09.2020)
It’s not like it wasn’t obvious
That I was depressed as fuck
Given all my talk,
I would’ve thought,
That was understood
Read Between The Lines
How
much
more
Must
I write
Before
you
come to
save
me?
How
much
more
Must
I fight
Before
you
run to
embrace
me?
(Originally Posted 14.09.2020)
I have just gone back
To pretending now
Convincing you that I
Am worth it, somehow
I’ve worked too hard
To let it go to waste
As this persona has taken
A lifetime to create
The Truth
If you
knew
the
truth
about me
You
would
run
away
and hide
You
wouldn’t
waste
another
minute
On
someone
so
rotten
inside
(Originally Posted 13.09.2019)
When I stopped the anti depressants
My feelings of lust were incessant
My thirst for bad boys,
Conmen and cowboys
All came back with a vengeance
(Well, those on TV shows at least)
Angels & Devils
Good men
do bad things
And good
women do too
If I was ever that way
inclined again
I’d do bad things
with you
(Originally Posted 13.08.2019)
I doubt I’d manage a short story these days
Never mind anything more
Writing three or four lines
Is a struggle at times
So a novel seems too much to hope for
Small Minds
One
day
I will
write
novels
All
about
you
and
me
Of
how
we left
those
hovels
And
found
our
sanctuary
(Originally Posted 13.09.20)
I guess
Looking back
You can’t be sure
Why you did the things you did
Reflection, it seems,
Isn’t for the dead
It is the curse
For those who live
Happy
I
miss
you
I
miss
us
I wish we
could just
go back
To
how it
was
Before
all
of this
Before
things turned
to shit
And we
were
happy
Because
we were
happy
I
was
happy
Wasn’t I?
(Originally Posted 13.09.2019)
You’re actually quite romantic
He said
When you put your mind to it
But therein lies the problem
She said
I just can’t be arsed to persue it
When Lightning Strikes
It’s like
we’ve been
connected
forever,
he said,
but it’s only
been a minute
However long
it’s been,
she said,
I can’t
remember
life without
you in it
(Originally Posted 12.09.2019)
This one was a warning
To a guy who should’ve known better
He’d hurt my friend
So this rhyme I penned
To let him know how much he’d upset her
Trip Wires
If
love is
not what
you say
But
what
you do
instead
Then
you’ve
fucked
up
On
both
counts
mate
So I’d
be careful
where you
tread
(Originally Posted 12.09.2019)
If death teaches you anything
It’s the importantance of a will
As without such frugality
You’ll find that your family
Will be arguing, still
Around The Corner
It’s
true
that
life
is
short
But
for
some
it’s
shorter
still
They
never
even
see
it
coming
Let
alone
have
made
a
will
(Originally Posted 11.09.2020)
Seriously,
She said
Could you be any more self absorbed?
Just accept he’s gone
And move the fuck on
Instead of moaning about being ignored
Hidden Harm
I killed
myself
today,
you know
And
no one
noticed
a thing
For
everyone
was far
too busy
To
care
about my
suffering
(Originally Posted 11.09.2020)
I can hardly remember writing
Such a powerful piece
Although I can recall requiring
A medication increase
Yes Sir, No Sir
Okay,
okay,
I accept
defeat.
I’ll get up,
get dressed,
drink tea,
eat.
I’ll take
the pills
you say
I need.
I’ll be a
good wee girl,
like we
agreed.
(Originally Posted 11.09.2019)
As I have never
Loved again
From that day
To this
I cannot help
But wonder
If someone up there
Is taking the piss
I Can’t Tell You
I can’t
tell
you
how
much
better
I feel
To
know my
feelings
I need
no
longer
conceal
I
can’t
tell you
how much
more open
I am
now
To the
possibility
of loving
someone
again,
someday,
somehow
(Originally Posted 11.09.2019)
He never did finish that sentence
Or did he help me to fly
He soon did away with the pretence
And left me high and dry
Learning to Fly
No,
she
said,
I don’t
think
I can
Just
trust
me,
he
said
(Originally Posted 10.09.2019)
I’m not sure I believe you
She said
There must be some kind of catch
Offers like this are rarely made
She said
With no strings attached
The Settlement
I only want
what’s best
for you,
he said,
even if that’s
not what is
best for me
I just
want this
to end,
she said,
I simply
want to
be free
(Originally Posted 10.09.2019)
You should never go to bed
On an argument
That is what they say
But what do you do
When he always blames you
And you argue every day
‘Turn Away On Your Side…’
Was
I always
wrong
Or was
I sometimes
right
Not that
it matters
anyway
Now I’m
alone at
night
(Originally Posted 10.09.2020)
I know you’re looking
To me for help
But I am just
As clueless myself
I’m Sorry
It hurt
to see
the pain
in your
eyes
I felt
every
ache
of your
heart
If only
I could
ease the
anguish
you feel
But
I’ve no
wisdom
left to
impart
(Originally Posted 10.09.2019)
Nothing prepares them
For what’s to come
The devastation
And then some
All I can say
As I watch them have fun
Is just be there for them
When they are done
Piercing
It looks
like this
situation
I may have
misjudged
As not
once did I
think it
would hurt
this much
(Originally Posted 09.09.2019)
Men may have since
Shared my bed
But they have never
Shared my head
Like you
Fuck Knows
My days
are sad
My nights
are lonely
Fuck knows
if I’ll ever
Only be
true to you
(Originally Posted 09.09.2019)
It happened quite by accident
As when she left the tent that morning
There was no way she could have known
That a whole new era was dawning
But as they both sat drinking wine
With their connection forming
She began to realise, at last,
Her heart was capable of rewarming
The Lost (We)ekend
I
don’t
know how
we got here
But
here
we are
nonetheless
We
should
just make
the best of it
Before
we have
to reassess
(Originally Posted 09.09.2020)
I went back into that bookshop
Just for old times sake
And although they played
A different song today
I still remembered our first date
The Bookshop (1)
I went
in there
just now
The one
I went into
with you
They were
playing
your song
on the radio
And because
you would
have smiled,
I smiled too
(Originally Posted 08.09.2019)
We both met up again last night
And as we held each other tight
We reveled in our connection to you
Before parting in the morning hue
Your Birthday
Yesterday
we
remembered
you.
Together,
in this
city, just
us two.
We laughed,
and smoked
and drank
too much beer.
Both of us
wishing you
were still
fucking here.
Xxx
(Originally Posted 08.09.2019)
In this city
I once called home
I know I could never
Feel alone
Coming Home
It’s not
that I
love this
city
It’s that
I love
who I am
when I’m here
(Originally Posted 08.09.2019)
I booked the day off work today
As I knew I’d want to be alone
I wouldn’t want to see anyone
Or even speak on the phone
It’s not that I’m ungrateful
Or I don’t appreciate the intent
But people just don’t realise
That, emotionally, I’m spent
Rest In Peace
Someone
sent me
flowers
today
And for
their
kindness
I was
thankful
But
I still
chucked
them
in the
bin
For of
condolences
I’ve had
a tankful
(Originally Posted 08.09.2020)
I know what you did
That day
How you made sure
Your pain
Stopped
Were You Afraid Of Dying?
It
was
awful
to see
you
waste
away
Neither
of us
knowing
why
Now
my
only
hope
Is
you
are
smoking
dope
At
that
great
gig in
the
sky
Xxx
(Originally Posted 07.09.2020)
It doesn’t compare
It’s not the same thing
I lost the man completely
Not just my wedding ring
That Morning
You
can
try
to
imagine
But
you
can
never
know
How
much
it
tore
me
apart
When
I had
to let
him go
Xxx
(Originally Posted 07.09.2020)
Sometimes it is sadness
Sometimes it’s deep frustration
But mostly it’s just
That I still feel lost
In this whole fucking situation
Hold Me
Words
can
not
describe
the
hurt
As my
tears
fall
onto
your
shirt
Xxx
(Originally Posted 07.09.2020)
I reach
for his
hand
Every
day
But
nothing
makes
The
pain
go away
That
It’s
just not
right
That you
won’t be
here when
I look
tonight
It’s
just not
fair
That I’ll
reach for
your hand
and it won’t
be there
(Originally Posted 07.09.2019)
I wrote this one
On a train
Making my way
Back home again
I remember she asked me
Why it was I cried
‘Because he’s dead’
I replied
The Removal Van
All
my dreams
are dead.
All that’s left
is this room
inside my head,
Where you
once lived.
I wish
you’d move
back in.
(Originally Posted 07.09.2019)
No more for me
He said
That was the wife on the phone
I think that I’ll stay out
She said
As there’s no one for me at home
Temptress
We
really
shouldn’t
do this
She
said
If it’s
something
you’ll
regret
I won’t
know
until
we’re
done
He
said
And I
haven’t
started
yet
(Originally Posted 06.09.2020)
Nineteen years of ups and downs
Of keeping the wolves at bay
But looking back now
We always got through, somehow
Doing things our own way
A Living Hell
Damned am I
who has been
torn in two
Damned am I
who fell in
love with you
(Originally Posted 06.09.2019)
It can be hard to stop
And smell the roses
When you’d rather
Be six feet under them
The Black Dog
When I heard
the black dog
barking outside
I knew I had
nowhere left
to hide
When I heard
the black dog
at my door
I knew I didn’t
have the strength
to fight anymore
Now I hear
the black dog
on my shoulder
And all I feel
is relief
that it’s over
(Originally Posted 06.09.2019)
I made one into a pillow
To keep with me in bed
But there’s no point in denying
I’ve spent many a night crying
Wishing it was you instead
Your Shirt
I still have it.
Your shirt.
I can feel it.
I can smell it.
I just wish you were still here.
Wearing it.
(Originally Posted 06.09.2019)
It takes me by surprise
Every year
If I can just yet through that day,
I think,
Then everthing will be ok
But it’s not
A Hard Week
Now that
the darkness
has descended
All my
happiness
has ended
Deep into
my soul
I have delved
And all
future plans
I have shelved
(Originally Posted 06.09.2019
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 
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