Alone

It’s
just
fear

That’s
all
it
is

That
when
push
comes
to
shove

It’ll
all
end
like
this

Stricken

Recent
events
have
taken
their
toll

On
my
body
and
my
mind

I
just
wish
I
could
go
back
to
when

I
didn’t
feel
so
sick
inside

Relief

As I
open
up my
scars

The
blood
flows
once
more

As I
begin
to see
stars

I fall,
sated,
to the
floor

Surreal

It is
just so
unbelievable

That things
have come
to this

Who or
what will
save us?

As we
stare into
the abyss…

Virulent

Whilst
social
distancing

And just
about
subsisting

To what
we are
witnessing

There is
no point
resisting

Dear Reader

Sometimes
my words
are so
savage

I even
surprise
myself

It’s like
the page
I must
ravage

With no
care at
all for
yourself

Emancipation

I’m so
happy
I got
out of
there

As my
mind
was
going
fuck
knows
where

At
least
now
a smile
I can
wear

Whilst
I walk
around
without
a care

Who Gives A Shit

Have
I
done
the
wrong
thing
again?

I
suppose
only
time
will
tell

Until
then
I’ll
try to
keep
myself
sane

Whilst
preparing
to
burn
in
hell

Better Off Dead

Sometimes
I
wonder,

Is
this all
there is?

Just
boredom,
emptiness

And your
endless
bullshit?

I couldn’t
think of
anything
nicer,

Than to be
somewhere
else
instead.

Far from
all the
anxiety
and pain,

And your
words
plaguing
my head.

Creaky Floorboards

Tonight is
the first time
I’ve felt real fear

Being
home alone
without you here

What if someone
breaks in during
the night?

Will I survive
now you’re not
here to fight?

Wednesday 11am (Pt 2)

So I managed,
in the end,
to get out of bed

And it’s been a
shitty day so far,
just as I said

So I was right,
I should never
have tried

For I’ll never
escape this
pain inside

Wednesday 2.30am (Pt 1)

I can’t even
bear the thought
of what’s to
come tomorrow

No doubt
it’ll just
be more misery
and sorrow

Perhaps I’d
be better
off staying
in bed

Then I might
just escape
these thoughts
in my head

Crutches

I fear
I have
lent on
you once
too often,
and now
you are
as broken
as me.

I should
never have
asked for
your help,
to be
honest,
as now
you’ll never
be free.

Aftermath

Confusion reigns
As my head struggles to explain
What I feel inside my heart.

Sadness remains
As with all encompassing pain
I hate that we have to part.

Living with Hypochondria

There is something wrong with me.
I just know it.
I don't feel right.
I haven't for sometime now.
I don't know what it is.

I get headaches.
Crushing, pounding headaches.
Cannot finish cigarettes,
because of the headaches.

I'm always itching,
Skin crawling.
Can't stay in one position for too long,
as my bones ache.
Sickness burns in my stomach,
constantly queasy.
My sleep patterns are disturbed.

I have bruises on my arms and legs, 
Lumps and bumps everywhere.
I feel dizzy all the time, 
Stumbling when I walk. 
I cannot concentrate my mind.
My own wheeze wakes me up. 

There is something wrong with me.
I just know it.
I don't feel right.
I haven't for sometime now.
I don't know what it is.

But there's no way I can see a doctor.
I'm too scared for that.
They might just confirm I'm really ill,
after all...