Tag: Writing

Prey

The
wolves
are on
their
hunt
again

I can
hear
them
whine
and
howl

They
are
already
stalking
me I
know

As
you’ve
told
them
where
to prowl

0

The Tempest

I don’t care for sun
I don’t care for rain
What I need is thunder
So that I can breathe again

4

The Drudgery

Another
day spent
trudging
through
the
sludge
of life
still
refusing
to budge
forever
trying to
avoid the
judgement
of those
who secretly
hold a
grudge
against me

2

An Unwanted Gift

You’ll always carry it with you,
The pain.

You can try to wrap it differently.

Use an alternative box,
Choose a shiny wrapping paper.
Secure it with ribbon,
Even glue on a fucking huge bow,
If you like.

But you’ll still carry it with you,
The pain.

Like a gaudy present nobody wants to open.
An unwanted gift you can never return.

4

Lifeline

The rubber ring
floats
towards me.

Thank you
for throwing
it down.

But I have
no desire
to grab it.

The rocks
in my pocket
are all
I need.

0

Reminders

It’s when it comes from nowhere,
that’s the worst.

The hysterical sobs that hit without warning.

When I’m driving and our song comes on the radio.
When a letter arrives and it’s addressed to you.
When I find a pair of your socks in my drawer.

My throat constricts,
as my lungs compress.

My stomach lurches,
as my heart laments.

And my eyes burn as I drown, slowly, in my own tears.

0

For You

I’ll smile today, for you.
But I won’t mean it.

I’ll laugh today, for you.
But I won’t feel it.

I’ll fake it every day, for you.
But you’ll never know it.

0

NFA

If home
is where
the heart is,
then I’m
currently
of no
fixed abode.

0

Saturdays

Saturdays are made for staying in bed all day.
But it's so cold and lonely, in here, without you.
0

Just

I don’t really want to die.

At least I don’t think I do.

I just want the pain to stop.

Every day is a battle I have less and less desire to fight.

Every day is an experience I have less and less desire to enjoy.

Every day is a puzzle I have less and less desire to complete.

I just want that spark back.

I just want you back.

I just want you.

0

He Said / She Said

One day
You might be somebody’s something
He said

But today
I am nobody’s nothing
She said

One day
Somebody might love you
He said

But today
Nobody does
She said

0

Drowning

The girl in the river,

She never thought she would be.

The girl in the river,

She didn’t want you to see.

The girl in the river,

She just wanted to be free.

The girl in the river,

She is me.

0

A Chore

If only I
could pair
beautiful
imagery with
my words,
lilting melody
to my song,
revelatory
meaning to
my poetry…

Perhaps it
wouldn’t
bore the
shit out
of you
as much
to read it,
as it
does me to
write it.

0

Free Fall

I’ve always been troubled.

Born with a darkness at my core.

An ugliness seeping through every fibre of my being.

My body infected with an overall malaise.

I’ve learned, over the years, to hide the monster from most.

Although your death has left me in free fall,

The fact I hate myself and want to die is nothing new.

That’s how I know I can get through this.

And that I’ll be ok.

0

Mornings

Mornings are the worst.

Trying to muster the energy to get up, get dressed and leave the house.

Trying to summon the confidence to get through yet another day without you.

To be honest, I’d rather not bother.

But I suppose I do have bills to pay.

And I do have to feed the cat.

0

Everything

I
still think
about you
everyday

You
are the one
I will never
forget

I
am the one
you have already
forgotten

0

Wedding Days

Out of everyone, I am happy for both of you the most.

I wish you love, health and happiness for the rest of your years together.

You deserve it.

My dreams have long since faded, but I hope I last long enough to see you make yours a reality.

0

Flying

Airports are a terrifying experience for control freaks.

The people, the noise, the unknown…

I already want to go home and I’ve not even left yet.

0

God

I wish I believed.

It’s heartening to see those of faith comforted from words set down so many years ago.

It’s uplifting to hear the voices of the choir soar alongside such stirring melody.

It’s inspiring to gaze in wonder at those beautifully stained glass windows like so many before me.

Truly.

But I don’t believe. In anyone or anything.

I’m not sure if I lack the inclination or imagination. Or both.

I am glad there are those that can be lifted from their darkest moments by the arms their God.

Sadly, the only person who will rescue me…is me.

And I’m not sure I have the strength.

0

Alphabet Heart

Atrophied. Abandoned.
Bleak. Barren.
Crumpled. Cracked.
Dark. Dank.
Embittered. Enraged.
Failed. Forgotten.
Garotted. Gutted.
Hateful. Haunted.
Indignant. Idle.
Jagged. Jaded.
Knocked. Knotted.
Longing. Lost.
Maudlin. Morose.
Nightmarish. Numb.
Obstructed. Obliterated.
Paralysed. Prone.
Quiet. Queasy.
Rotten. Ravaged.
Stolen. Shattered.
Traumatised. Tainted.
Unloveable. Undone.
Violated. Vanquished.
Weeping. Wasted.
Xxx
Yearning. Yawning.
Zero.
0

18 Years & 290 Days

Did I ever really know you at all, I wonder?
There was so much about you that I found fascinating.
Dark, brooding and mysterious.
Inexplicable in so many ways.
The expanse of your mind knew no bounds.
The depths of your heart the same.
You were so enchanting and intoxicating to me.
Such a fragile beauty.

I'm glad you didn't linger.
I'm thankful you didn't wither away.
I'm honoured I was with you, in those final moments.
Because I may never have really known you,
but I knew that look in your eyes.
I knew that grip of your hand.
I know my face was the last thing you saw.
You knew I was there, with you.
You knew I wouldn't leave.
You knew you were loved.
0

Lies

There is no better place.
Those we love don’t walk beside us.
There are no other rooms.
You will stand at that grave and weep.
There are more than five stages.
There are more than two parts.
Tears are not silent.
There is no peace or comfort to find.
Time heals nothing.
You’ll always walk alone.

And grief is like a fucking tsunami,
so good luck learning to swim in that.

 

2

Questions

When does this pain end?
Have I not suffered enough?
Will things ever change?
Does time heal everything?
Am I done?
Do I care?
Shall I?
Go where?
Alone?
Forever?

 

0

Booze (Pt 2)

It’s killing me. This guilt. Every time I go out. I speak to someone and I feel guilty for laughing. I talk about you and I feel guilty for crying. I feel like every one is watching me, secretly whispering, and I feel guilty for being such an arrogant prick. I think everyone is judging me, pitying me and I feel guilty for not having more faith in people.

So I’m just going to stop going out.  As it will finish me off eventually. This guilt.

0

Grief Vampire

Paltry, trite sentiment
Faux hurt and pain
Superficial, artificial compassion
Feigned sadness and tears

You've got no fucking idea how this really feels
Grief Vampire
Just piss off back to your crypt
And leave me in peace

0

Country Roads

I should stop driving late at night.

Especially on country roads.

It’s becoming far too tempting not to press the foot brake.

And I’m not afraid of the darkness…

 

 

0

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