Month: Dec 2021

Random #155

‘We twa hae paidl’d in the burn,
Frae morning sun till dine;
But seas between us braid hae roar’d
Sin’ auld lang syne.’

– Robert Burns

4

Random #154

“May the best you’ve ever seen,
Be the worst you’ll ever see.
May the mouse ne’er leave your girnal,
Wi’ a tear drap in it’s e’e.
May your lum keep blithely reekin’,
Till ye’re auld enough to dee.
May you aye be just as happy,
As I’d like ye aye tae be.”

– Traditional Scottish Toast

21

Resolute

“New year, new me”

Is that what you want me to say?

Well, I’m not pretending

I’ll get a happy ending

Just like any other Friday

16

Until Next Year…

As the calendar page turns once more

We are granted our reprieve

Thank you so much Mariah

Now you can fucking leave

Take that whiny choirboy with you

And that dick who thinks he’s Elvis

Bing and Bowie can piss off too

With their ‘pa rum pum pum pum’ bullshit

We’re happy to wave you off John

Although your message is appreciated

Best take your mate Paul with you though

Before we have his keyboard castrated

It’s time to step out and away now Elton

With The Jacksons, Jonah and Chuck

And as for the ‘NYPD choir’

We couldn’t give less of a fuck

We’ll really only miss you George

Like we do nearly every day

So perhaps, this year, we could keep you

Instead of giving you away

27

Whatever You Say

I’m going to be happy today

She said

Push this sadness from my mind

I’ll give you half an hour

He said

And even then that’s being kind

18

Season’s Beatings

I fucking hate Christmas

Just like Christmas hates me

Walking on eggshells all day

Faking smiles around a tree

I learned when I was five

Santa doesn’t deliver for free

That he prefers ‘good little girls’

And the one he favoured that year was me

As an adult I’ve tried to make it better

To erase him from my memory

But I still fucking hate Christmas

Just like Christmas hates me

57

Scratching

I’m not proud of what I did

Nor am I happy with what I said

But if you had been kinder

And not some whiny fault finder

Then your eyes needn’t have bled

9

I’m Fine Thanks

I’m sorry you think I’ve missed you

As I haven’t given one fuck

If you thought you mattered

And my life is shattered

Well then you’re shit out of luck

27

Random #150

“Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people.”

– Carl Jung

11

Fun

That thing

You were speaking of

Well, I think I’ve found it

Now I’m out of my head

And in your bed

I don’t think I’ll ever quit

13

Candour

What is more important

She said

Being kind or telling the truth

For if it’s the latter

Then I cannot flatter

And your ego I will not soothe

21

Lewis

Robbed of what’s right
You certainly have been
Hard to believe
It’s not because of your skin

As corruption and greed
Handed your rival the win
With no case left to plead
You took it on the chin

You deserve better

15

Dating Advice

“You’d have so much to offer

If you could just proffer

A kindly look their way”

—

“My mouth may be broken

But I do have a shot gun

So I’m sure I’ll be ok”

20

One Good Turn…

I suppose

You understand me now

Why I said

What was on my mind

Well don’t expect

Anything from me

As I’ll be paying you back

In kind

5

Random #148

“I wish neither to possess nor to be possessed. I no longer covet ‘paradise’. More important, I no longer fear ‘hell’. The medicine for my suffering I had within me from the very beginning but I did not take it. My ailment came from within myself, but I did not observe it, until this moment. Now I see that I will never find the light unless, like the candle, I am my own fuel, consuming myself.”

– Bruce Lee

12

El Paradiso

You find me here alone
Broken and desolate

With nothing to call my own
Except for beer and regret

5

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