Just because you didn’t hear it
She said
Doesn’t mean it didn’t speak
I think perhaps you should discuss it
He said
With your psychiatrist next week
"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
Just because you didn’t hear it
She said
Doesn’t mean it didn’t speak
I think perhaps you should discuss it
He said
With your psychiatrist next week
Out walking alone
Serotonin in winter
Remains elusive
Why is everything so fucking bleak with you
He said
Why can’t you just stop moping around
For my melancholy is lifelong
She said
And no cure can be found
Well that’s me back
In the doldrums again
Months of progress
Down the drain
I can no longer be bothered
With any motivation to find
For it’s clear now nothing will fix
This fragile mind of mine
To not know
Who to trust
Certainly fucking hurts
But to be unsure
Of ones own self
Is infinitely worse
If
your
life
is a
traffic
jam
Then
just
step
out of
the
car
In the beginning
I would always try
To be as honest as I could be
But in the end I fell
So far from the truth
That the line was a dot to me
Time flies
When you’re having fun
That’s why it’s still midnight
As I’m having none
I just cannot understand
He said
Why you have to be so combative
I’ve just been surviving for so long
She said
That I’ve forgotten how to live
One minute I’m up
But then the next I’m down
It’s really hard
To fake this smile
When it’s easier to frown
In case you don’t come back
He said
You did really well today
Thank you very much
She said
But I don’t believe a word you say
You just have to remember
He said
You can’t pour from an empty cup
Well mine is smashed to smithereens
She said
So how the fuck do I fill it up?
What is it going to take
He said
For you to open up to me?
Another bottle of wine for starters
She said
And a money back guarantee
Why don’t you tell him what happened
He said
Instead of just writing it down
Because I don’t want him to know
She said
I couldn’t bear to see his frown
If I don’t talk about myself negatively
She said
Then I’ve got nothing much to say
Well perhaps I can try to help you
He said
See yourself in a different way
I see you there
With your vacant stare
Drowning in infinite sadness
But never fear
I’ll alway be here
Trying to sweep away your madness
Things should be better now
He said
They certainly shouldn’t be worse
I really hope so
She said
For I can’t live with this curse
Please
She said
Pay me no mind
And try not think of me unkind
For I am
She said
To madness inclined
And peace I can no longer find
They promised I’d feel better by now
That these pills would have kicked in
Well they fucking lied
As my brain is still fried
And my heart belongs in the bin
Does anybody know
What we are searching for?
Or where we’re supposed to look?
Because my motivation
Is fading
And it’s getting harder to give a fuck
Tell yourself you’re moving on
And they might just start
To believe it
But you and I know
This is all just for show
As you’re still drowning
In shit
I play them too often nowadays
Just to feel the pain
It’s better then feeling nothing
Again and again and again…
It was the best day
When we met
The worst when
You walked away
But what hurts the most
Is I was far too morose
For you to want to stay
There will be someone out there
He said
That will be the one for you
What if he’s already gone
She said
I don’t believe there can be two
I cry a lot more now
Even at the silliest thing
My therapist says it’s better
Than trying to keep it all in
Stitch my wounds, if you like
I want to feel the pain
Don't call me a silly girl
For I'll only do it again
Ask me why, if you like
But you will never understand
The need, the comfort, the urgency
Those scissors close at hand
Leave me here, if you like
Walk away if you dare
Just remember I never asked for your help
Or your tender loving care
Forget I exist, if you like
It will not bother me one bit
For I'll always have my trusty blade
And carry my own first aid kit
(Originally Posted 08.04.2019)
She’s back again,
the little control freak,
whispering from my shoulder.She never really goes away,
despite my efforts to brush her aside
or however much I grow older.I’ve never once turned to look
at her whilst I try hard to
drown out her speech.But I never forget
she’s there, berating me,
and bleeding me like a leech.(Originally Posted 04.08.2019)
Today has
been like
scratching
a brick wall
I didn’t
see this
one coming
at all
Everything
I’ve done
has made me
feel worse
I cannot
shrug this
nightmarish
curse
It feels
ridiculously
melodramatic
to say
But I
really don’t
think there’s
another way
All that
appeals
to me now
is that rope
As finally
it seems I’ve
abandoned
all hope
(Originally Posted 21.08.2019)
I really
try my
best to
cope and
not just
sit around
and mope
but as
time moves
on I
know there’s
no hope
I can
forget the
past and
avoid the
rope that
silently
whispers my
name(Originally Posted 02.07.2019)
I wonder what you’ll all say,
When I finally go away.
I wonder what you’ll all think,
When off into the shadows I slink.
I wonder if you’ll all stop and stare,
When you finally realise I’m no longer there.
(Originally Posted 25.06.2019)
It’s four twenty five in the afternoon and I’m still lying in bed.
Trying, in vain, to sleep away the thoughts inside my head.
Perhaps I should get up and go out for a bracing walk instead.
It has to be better than staying in here and wishing I was dead.
(Originally Posted 22.06.2019)
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