If
someone
told me
then
How all
this
would
end
I’d pack
a bag
and run
away
And not
even
bother
to pretend
"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
If
someone
told me
then
How all
this
would
end
I’d pack
a bag
and run
away
And not
even
bother
to pretend
If
all
your
pills
Don’t
cure
my
ills
Then
why
bother
to
collect
them
If
it’s
a waste
of time
Both
yours
and
mine
Then
perhaps
I should
reject
them
Kindness
lives
within
you
He
said
Of
that
I am
the
judge
Then
by all
means
try to
find it
She
said
Beneath
the
fucking
sludge
You
cannot
stop
me
She
said
No
matter
how
hard
you try
I
won’t
be
coming
back
She
said
Not
until
the
day
I die
You
should
use
this
time
to
think
He
said
About
what
it is
you
want
Only
if you
bring
me
coffee
She
said
And
a hot
buttered
croissant
You ask
What
I left
Behind
Nothing
I answer
Just
My mind
I’ll
take
anything
you’ve
got to
give
A drink;
a smoke,
a sedative
As the
voices
in my
head
these
days
Are
proving
far too
competitive
What’s worrying you today,
He asks.
Everything,
I reply.
Am I
supposed
to feel
something?Because
I don’tAm I
supposed
to thank
you?Because
I won’t
Here
I lieDespite
my wealthMurdered
By my
mental
health
As
the
sun
slowly
rises
What’s
the
point
in
going
to bed?
It’s
not
like
sleep
Gives
me
any
reprieve
From
the
voices
in my
head
What
is
wrong
with
you
He
said
Why
can’t
you
just
try
your
best?
I
honestly
don’t
know
She
said
It’s
an
illness,
I guess
It
matters
not
If
I go
out
Or if
I stay
at home
As
either
way
It’s
clear
to me
I’ll
always
be alone
Ah well
What the heck
Put your hand
Around my neck
And squeeze
Try
as I
may
With
all
of my
might
I
have
no
idea
Where
I’ll
sleep
tonight
Back here alone
In this room again
With the darkness
My old friend
Praying for someone
My wounds to tend
Ever hopeful
This pain will end
There’s
no
point
in
cryingOver
spilt
milkGod
loves
you
for
tryingBlah
blah
blah
In
the
graveyard
Of
my
mind
Is
where
the
memories
Of
us
reside
So
when
I’m
alone
In
the
dead
of
night
I
walk
the
tombs
Of
our
love’s
plight
Alone
Another
day
Another
pill
Will
this
one
make
me
Feel
less
ill?
It was the lonliness
That got to me
If I’m honest
In the end
Sitting here
Just quietly
But all alone
Again
Desperately trying
Yet failing
My broken heart
To mend
All the while
Convinced
The rope
Was my friend
At
first
light
in the
morning
Just
as a
new
day is
dawning
The
birds
issue
their
final
warning
And
the
tears
from
my eyes
start
pouring
The
packet
cracks
As
the
tablet
snaps
And I
glug it
down
with
water
My
whole
body
contracts
As
I face
the
facts
That
I am my
mother’s
daughter
So
this
is
it
Lying
in bed
all day
again
Wine
and
cigarettes
my only
friend
I’m so
bored
of this
shit
I
could
make
myself
sick
I
really
am
nothing
But a
nauseating
prick
Bad thoughts creep
As I’m without sleep
For yet another night
Fears won’t keep
Whilst I lie and weep
Losing the will to fight
I don’t
know if
you’re
aware
She
said
But
I’ve
been
feeling
rather
down
Let me
fetch my
notebook
He
said
Reaching
forward
with a
frown
Let
me
out
She
said
You
can’t
keep me
here
I
think
you’ll
find we
can
He
said
The
law is
very
clear
I’m
glad
you
find
it
helpful
But I
certainly
do not
What’s
the
point
in
telling
tales
When
you’ve
already
lost
the
plot?
How
many
more
times
Must
I walk
this
path
Surely
I’ve
done it
enough
times now
To
find
my own
way
back
Another minute
Another hour
Another day
Another shower
Of shite
They
say
you’re
not on
your
own
But
it
certainly
feels
like
it
Over
time
they
all
fade
away
While
you’re
still
wading
through
shit
Here
I am
again
Sitting
all
alone
I don’t
like this
anymore
I want
to go
home
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