Category: Coping

Tiredness

I already want to go back to sleep

And I haven’t even woken up yet

(Originally Posted 08.04.2019)

8

The Mirror

Hair crunchy like straw
Brain burst with chaos
Eyes darkened shadows
Arteries slick with grease
Lips rough as sandpaper
Cheeks stained with tears
Skin cracked and weeping
Forearms heavily scarred
Liver soaked with alcohol
Heart cold as granite

I hate looking in the mirror
For I do not like what I see
I shall stop looking in the mirror
For I do not like me

(Originally Posted 05.04.2019)

24

Random #18

‘You could have achieved so much more, if you weren’t so fucking insecure’

– Me

(Originally Posted 19.07.2019)

10

Multi Storey Car Parks

As I stand here I wonder…

Who would care, really?

Who would cry?

Who would be bothered to stop and ask why?

Should I? Shouldn’t I?

I couldn’t really go through with it though, could I?

Who would laugh?

Who would sigh?

Is it even possible from up this high?

And then I jump.

Without another care in the world,

or even so much as a goodbye.

(Originally Posted 17.06.2019)

13

Even My Tissues Have Issues

Will there ever come a day

When I won’t feel so sad

What the hell did I do

That was so fucking bad

All I ever wanted

Was to live a life free from pain

And yet it seems I am destined

To walk forever in the rain

14

Out of Space

It's like I'm an alien.

Cast adrift on the wrong planet, 

Slowly waving cheerio to the spacecraft as it departs.

'Please, don't leave me behind...'

(Originally Posted 06.03.2019)

 

16

All The 8’s

And so it begins

The incessant counting

The overthinking

The fear mounting

That impending doom

Will certainly strike

If I do not get

This pattern right

8

Running On Empty

I am so tired

I want to go home

To sit in the quiet

All on my own

For I’ve had enough

Of this battle of wills

I just need some silence

To cure my ills

15

Leave Me Alone

Although the walls

Are closing in

I’ve no desire

To leave

I don’t understand

Why you find that

So fucking hard

To believe

12

Sanctuary

Never more than when

I’m in a room full of people

Do I feel most alone

All I want to do is beat

A slow, silent, steady retreat

And find my sanctuary at home

15

Sprung

The beast has crept back in again

She’s beaten down my door

And there was me

Thinking foolishly

I wouldn’t need pills anymore

22

Going Too Far

Lying 
here 
in 
this 
strange 
bed

Wondering
what
was
going on
inside 
my head

Trying 
to
ignore
this 
feeling
of dread

Wishing 
I had
chosen 
to stay
at home
instead
9

Into The Wind

As my life passes me by

I lose the will to even try

So I raise my hands to the sky

And scream why me, you arsehole, why?

23

Vanished

With no idea what this shit means

I’ve fallen apart at the seams

Hidden behind these opaque screens

I only exist now in my dreams

5

Weak

I really am sorry

I cannot take your weight

For my arms are too broken

From carrying my own

23

‘Jealous Guy’

Some
days
I am
acutely
aware

That
you
have
much
more
fun
than
me

I
suppose
it’s
not
that
hard
to
believe

Given
my
penchant
for
misery

18

Zestless

Finally
dropping
into
bed

Knowing
I couldn’t
have done
any more

There’s
no point
setting
an alarm

As
there’s
nothing
to wake
up for

30

Afflicted

Wandered
around
again
today

With
an all
consuming
sigh

Not
knowing
how to
live

Yet
too
afraid
to die

30

(Over) Sharing

Well
far
be it
for
little
old me

To
distract
you
from
your
reverie

But
I really
need
to make
you see

Before
I’ve
drowned
in my
misery

2

Digging For Gold

Kindness
lives
within
you

He
said

Of
that
I am
the
judge

Then
by all
means
try to
find it

She
said

Beneath
the
fucking
sludge

2

Quieten Down(er)

I’ll
take
anything
you’ve
got to
give

A drink;
a smoke,
a sedative

As the
voices
in my
head
these
days

Are
proving
far too
competitive

10

Detached

It
matters
not

If
I go
out

Or if
I stay
at home

As
either
way

It’s
clear
to me

I’ll
always
be alone

9

Mausoleum

In
the
graveyard

Of
my
mind

Is
where
the
memories

Of
us
reside

So
when
I’m
alone

In
the
dead
of
night

I
walk
the
tombs

Of
our
love’s
plight

Alone

25

The Note

It was the lonliness

That got to me

If I’m honest

In the end

Sitting here

Just quietly

But all alone

Again

Desperately trying

Yet failing

My broken heart

To mend

All the while

Convinced

The rope

Was my friend

12

Nature Vs Nurture

The
packet
cracks

As
the
tablet
snaps

And I
glug it
down
with
water

My
whole
body
contracts

As
I face
the
facts

That
I am my
mother’s
daughter

14

Plus Ca Change

So
this
is
it

Lying
in bed
all day
again

Wine
and
cigarettes
my only
friend

I’m so
bored
of this
shit

I
could
make
myself
sick

I
really
am
nothing

But a
nauseating
prick

14

The Dream Catcher

Bad thoughts creep

As I’m without sleep

For yet another night

Fears won’t keep

Whilst I lie and weep

Losing the will to fight

4

Such A Cliché

I don’t
know if
you’re
aware

She
said

But
I’ve
been
feeling
rather
down

Let me
fetch my
notebook

He
said

Reaching
forward
with a
frown

17

Group Therapy

I’m
glad
you
find
it
helpful

But I
certainly
do not

What’s
the
point
in
telling
tales

When
you’ve
already
lost
the
plot?

7

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