This is my favorite time of year
He said
With these scents of cinnamon and pine
As I endure the merriment of others
She said
I thank fuck for cheese and wine
(Originally Posted 24.12.2021)
Blunted
This new one
Is my favourite
Of all those pills
And potions
As it leaves me feeling
Numb inside
And just going
Through the motions
Regime #7
These
pills
have
stopped
working
They
are now
simply
a token
As
they
don’t
take away
the hurting
From a
heart
that’s
truly
broken
(Originally Posted 23.12.2019)
The Final Appointment
I don’t need this, any more
I’m doing a lot better
She said
Now I just hear screaming
Once or twice a week
And only inside my head
The Circus Is Back In Town
I wish
I spent
more time
sleeping
Instead
of all
this
weeping
It would
be nice to
do some
dreaming
As
opposed
to all this
screaming
(Originally Posted 21.12.2019)
A Distinct Lack Of Merriment
All those years
All those lists
When all I wanted
Was to eat and get pissed
Thoughtless
Not only is it the time of year for giving
But the time for receiving too
You’ve no idea how glad I am
There’s no more bullshit gifts from you
(Originally Posted 19.12.2020)
Survival
This
ain’t
my first
rodeo
And it
won’t
be my
last
As
there’s
always a
change
I
can
undergo
To
keep
myself
intact
‘And The Academy Award Goes To…’
You’re
no fun
anymore
He
said
What
happened
to you
my friend?
I was
never
fun
before
She
said
All of
that
was
just
pretend
(Originally Posted 14.12.2020)
The Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing
I don’t think
I meant this
As me being
Hard done by
I think it
Was more
To show
At my core
That I’m actually
Not a good guy
Unfair
I never
get what
I want
Let alone
what I
deserve
(Originally Posted 14.12.2019)
Perfunctory
Sometimes I wonder
If I made it out alive
Or if I’m actually still dead
I mean I know
I put on a good show
But I’d rather just feel it instead
But Still Alive
Mired in madness
Subsumed in sadness
Buried here forever
Lost in blackness
(Originally Posted 12.12.2019)
Move Over, Wednesday
You’re hardly the life and soul
They said
Even with a drink you’re glum
You don’t know the half of it
She said
I didn’t even want to come
Sanctuary
Never more than when
I’m in a room full of people
Do I feel most the alone
All I want to do is beat
A slow and steady retreat
And find my sanctuary at home
(Originally Posted 10.12.2020)
Dead Inside
I know
That depression
Is cyclical
Yet I’m still taken
By surprise
Whenever
It hits
And I feel
Like shit
As the light fades
From behind my eyes
Sprung
The beast has crept back in again
She’s beaten down my door
And there was me,
Foolishly,
Thinking I wouldn’t need pills anymore
(Originally Posted 09.12.2020)
The Asylum Called – They Want Their Jacket Back
If only one day
He’d answer back
Instead of just little
Old lunatic me
Shouting into the black
Into The Wind
As my life passes me by
I lose the will to even try
So I raise my hands to the sky
And scream why me, you arsehole, why?
(Originally Posted 07.12.2020)
(High)lands Reprise
As I stand here
Taking snaps
Comparing them
To years past
I am struck
By the magnitude
Of how much I now
Love my solitude
(High)lands
Let us
roam
amongst
the
heather
Laugh
out loud
betwixt
the
blether
Kiss
amidst
this
stormy
weather
Until
we
come
undone
together
(Originally Posted 03.12.2020)
New Beginnings
Early this morning
Whilst stood on the street
The plumpest wee robin
Landed at my feet
It looked like she’d managed
To escape her cage
And that she was ready
To face winter’s rage
Unfathomable Cruelty
Only I
know why
the caged
bird sings
It’s because
some bastard
clipped it’s
wings
Yet as the
tears rise
and the
anger stings
The bird
knows it’s
just one of
those things
(Originally Posted 22.11.2019)
“I’ll Just Get The Bus”
It is all
Well and good
Spending time
With old friends
Yet it’s always me
Who leaves emptily
When the night
Inevitably ends
Catching Up
It
was
so
good
to see
you
But
now
I’m
glad
you’ve
gone
You
remind
me too
much of
my life
before
And
what
has
since
gone
wrong
(Originally Posted 21.11.2019)
Random #258
‘I will do better in the morning…’
Encou(rage)ment
This type of positive sentiment
Is all well and good
But it’s of no use
When you cannot produce
The feelings others say you should
The (Not So) Funny Man
‘A day without laughter is a day wasted…’
Oh just fuck off Charlie,
Life’s far more complicated.
(Originally Posted 18.11.2019)
Fuck Depression
This is what depression does
It strips you bare until life becomes
Just too much to contemplate.
So you lie there alone
Isolated at home
And accept what you feel is fate.
Meanwhile everyone else
Is worried about you.
Totally clueless
As to how to help you.
Ultimately nobody wins.
So fuck depression,
And all that it brings.
In My Eyes
No one
sees
me as
anything
more
Than a
sad and
lonely
depressed
old bore
A pathetic
waste of
space for
sure
Just
another
nuisance
to ignore
(Originally Posted 14.11.2019)
(Un) Polished
If you want to know
My state of mind
On any given day
Just look at my nails
As they’ll tell the tale
Of how I’m feeling straight away
A Messy Job
Why oh why
did I try
to paint
my nails
on a train?
Never will
I attempt
such a
ridiculous
thing again!
(Originally Posted 09.11.2019)
Unhappily Ever After
I’ll never look on the bright side
Or see that glass half full
As my penchant for misery
Has now come to be
Very much dyed in the wool
‘Jealous Guy’
Some
days
I am
acutely
aware
That
you
have
much
more
fun
than
me
I
suppose
it’s
not
that
hard
to
believe
Given
my
penchant
for
misery
(Originally Posted 08.11.2020)
‘Rainy Days And Mondays’
I should really take
My own advice
And instead of all this droning
Pull myself together
Whatever the weather
And just stop fucking moaning
Worry Less
And
just
get
on
with
it
It’s
not
like
everyone
else
Isn’t
also
wading
through
shit
(Originally Posted 07.11.2020)
I’m Not Ashamed
That is how
It was back then
When I had no choice
But to rely on pills
One to find a way
To get through each day
And several more
To help me rebuild
Happy Pills
I think
we’ll
increase
your dose,
She
said,
To stop
you
feeling so
morose.
I’ll
easily
give it
a try,
I
said,
But I’m
pretty sure
the end
is nigh.
(Originally Posted 07.11.2019)
Terminated
Here I am stuck
In this carriage again
Honestly,
I could scream
I’m forever trying
To reach the end
Yet I always run out
Of steam
‘Forever Delayed’
Brought
to a
standstill
By leaves
on the
line ahead
Yet
another
signal
point
failure
Oh how
I wish
I’d stayed
in bed
(Originally Posted 05.11.2019)
An Official Declaration
I guess I don’t feel
Like this anymore
But in that I can take no pride
As the only reason
I feel any different
Is because I’m now dead inside
What’s The Point?
It
feels
like
I will
never
laugh
again
As my
life
is so
full of
sorrow
and pain
Like
I will
no
longer
be able
to smile
And
that
nothing
I do will
ever be
worthwhile
(Originally Posted 01.11.2019)
Cringing
When I read back
On posts like this
I can’t help but curl my toes
It’s like I think
You’re all in the pink
And it’s just me that feels morose
In My Shoes
Bitter
and
twisted
Yes,
that’s
me
But
live
my
life
For a
minute
or two
And so
would
you
fucking
be
(Originally Posted 01.11.2020)
Pulling Myself Together
It would not be
That unusual for me
To view my own mental health
As simply cliché
And to explain it away
As just feeling sorry for myself
The Gloom
Does it
follow me
Or do I
chase it
Either way
around
It’s still
pretty shit
(Originally Posted 30.10.2019)
Lowering Expectations
I’ve felt this way
For some time now
And yet I still plod on
Perhaps this is just
My normal now
And it’s hoping for more that’s wrong
Zestless
Finally
dropping
into
bed
Knowing
I couldn’t
have done
any more
There is
no point
in setting
an alarm
As
there’s
nothing
to wake
up for
(Originally Posted 24.10.2020)
Behind Enemy Lines
If only I’d tried harder
I could have fought you more
If only I’d been smarter
I could have won the war
Fade To Black
Pull down the stars
Put out the sun
I’ve had enough
You have won
(Originally Posted 23.10.2020)
Tea, Milady?
You will feel much better
She said
After a drink and something to eat
There’s no point in feeding me up
She said
For I have accepted defeat
Little Miss Pitiful
Too busy to stop,
Too bored to stay.
Too broken to fight,
For yet another day.
(Originally Posted 21.10.2019)
In For The Kill
They sense my attempt
To avoid them, the pack,
So they change their course
Quick smart
For there’s nothing more appealing
Than an injured woman concealing
The stench
Of her bleeding heart
Prey
The
wolves
are on
their
hunt
again
I can
hear
them
whine
and
howl
They
are
already
stalking
me,
I know,
For
you’ve
told
them
where
to prowl
(Originally Posted 14.10.2019)
Ruined
I’d love to say
That two years on
That I have cleaned up my act
But from what I suffered
My body never recovered
And my mind will always be cracked
Old Habits
As my
veins
drip
with
chip
fat
And
my
lungs
marinate
in
tar
I
wonder
if,
perhaps
this
time,
I’ve
taken
things
too
far
(Originally Posted 28.09.2020)
‘Trouble Loves Me’
It would’ve saved a lot of time
She said
Had I walked away long ago
Oh please don’t kid yourself
She said
You’d still have lived a life of woe
‘Should I Stay Or Should I Go’
If
someone
told me
then
How all
this
would
end
I’d pack
a bag
and run
away
And not
even
bother
to pretend
(Originally Posted 22.09.2020)
Taking To Bed
I may spend time lying down
But not much of that is sleeping
It’s existential dread
That fills my head
And that’s not to mention the weeping
Forty Winks
Why do
I bother
coming
to bed
It’s not
like I
can
sleep
All I
do is
fucking
lie here
Overthinking
and
counting
sheep
(Originally Posted 21.09.2019)
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 
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