Category: Dying

Finding The Time

Ah, you’re still here

He said

So you’ve not popped

Your clogs yet?

It’s not for a lack of trying

She said

But the chance

Has been murder to get

2

Is It Really The Kindest Thing?

The worst is when

All hope is gone

And you know that they

Can’t carry on

When the end is coming

At them hard

And all that’s left

Is wounds and scars

That’s when you wish

They could call it a day

Instead of just watching

Them waste away

4

Futility

The lights go out

In the blink of an eye

And there’s nothing left

But to say goodbye

0

Widows

We need support

When traumatised

Not to be attacked

Or demonised

Something we wish

That you’d realise

When losing them

Leaves us paralysed

4

Infinitely, No

Have faith

In the afterlife

They say

Even just

A little bit

But if all there is

Is coming back to this

Then ‘they’

Can fucking stick it

Over And Over Again

It was always pretty reckless

And possibly quite mad

But I have fallen for you

Over and over again

In each lifetime I’ve had

Xxx

(Originally Posted 07.02.2022)

0

Regardless

I don’t know why

I was spared that day

And he was taken

Instead

But my life

Is hell without him

So I’d still

Be better off dead

Hindsight

If I
could
go back
to that
night

Knowing
what
I now
know

I would
hold you
in my
arms so
tight

And
never
let
you
go

Xxx

(Originally Posted 28.01.2020)

2

Save Me

Those oceans feel

A little calmer now

As those days

Have passed me by

So from here

I’ll just tread water

Hoping for help

Before I die

The Drowning Girl

Tears
run into
oceans

Hours
bleed into
days

As I go
through
the motions

Trapped
between
the waves

(Originally Posted 21.01.2021)

0

One In Four

I think we both knew

Deep down

That she would soon

Become another

That you’d be left

A husband bereft

And your kids

Without their mother

Now I know

That she had longer

And to her death

You had all faced up

Still it pains me so much

To see you

In the Under 50’s

Widow’s club

The News Nobody Wants

I hope
it all
goes well
today

I hope
with
all my
heart

For I
couldn’t
bear
for you

To live
as I
now do

And
have
your lives
torn apart

(Originally Posted 28.11.2019)

1

Human Intervention

I think he does this

From time to time

Sends me something

To ease my mind

Some small reminder

Of what once was

Knowing I find no comfort

In the words of God

From Beyond The Grave

There’s no
such thing
as a sign,
she said

Apart from
when you
need one,
he said

(Originally Posted 14.10.2019)

0

Changing Your Tune

We can all claim

To be considerate and kind

To look after each other

In both heart and mind

But what I have found

If the truth be told

Is that people only care

When you’re dead and cold

Harsh Truth

It can
be a
hard
lesson
to learn

When
you’re
at the
point of
no return

That
nobody
actually
gives
a shit

Whether
you decide
to stay
or
end it

(Originally Posted 12.10.2019)

2

Fuck Cancer

I will keep saying it

Until I am blue in the face

That I was effectively widowed

At thirty eight years old

Is an absolute fucking disgrace

Leaving

Now it’s
time
for me
leave

Please
don’t
make a
fuss

It’s not
the end
of the
world

It’s
just
the end
of us

(Originally Posted 08.10.2019)

12

‘Break On Through (To The Other Side)’

It is hard to accept

Death is the last

That nothing more

Will come to pass

There is no healing

Or making sense of it all

When you’re the one left reeling

On the other side of the wall

One Night In Heaven

Now
we’ll
never
hold
hands
again

Walk
in the
park
or
kiss in
the rain

That
only my
fading
memory
of us
remains

Just
breaks
my heart
and blows
my
brains

(Originally Posted 04.09.2020)

2

A Shared Experience

I thought it was just me

Back then

But now I know I’m just one of many

Death affects everyone

As we all feel loss, innately

Only You

With my
heart
in my
mouth

And my
head
in my
hands

It saddens
me to realise

That no one
understands

(Originally Posted 28.09.2019)

0

Go Well My Friend

Go well my friend

Into the night

Through the darkness

To find the light

The Trade Off

It’s with a heavy heart

And a mournful sigh

That the time has come

To say our goodbye

I’m eternally grateful

For all you have done

For you soothed my pain

And left me with none

(Originally Posted 20.09.2019)

2

Judgement Day

To find out if

It’s eternal damnation

Is the worst kind

Of anticipation

Bad News

The
wait
is
almost
worse
than
the
call
itself

(Originally Posted 15.09.2020)

0

Years Down The Line

If death teaches you anything

It’s the importantance of a will

As without such frugality

You’ll find that your family

Will be arguing, still

Around The Corner

It’s
true
that
life
is
short

But
for
some
it’s
shorter
still

They
never
even
see
it
coming

Let
alone
have
made
a
will

(Originally Posted 11.09.2020)

8

Different For Us All

Now I don’t bother

With feelings at all

They wouldn’t get it

Even if I tried

No one cares

As it was my man,

Not theirs,

Who so unexpectedly died

Locked Away

As the
chasm
between
us

Continues
to grow

It gets
harder
and
harder

My
feelings
to show

Xxx

(Originally Posted 01.09.2020)

0

Absurd

No one would believe it

Not even wrapped up in a bow

Even those who trust

In reincarnation

Would find this one hard to swallow

Making (Sh)It Up

Who
could
believe
we’d
get
this

That
we’d
ever
again
share
a kiss

That
both
of our
hearts
a beat
would
miss

That
we’d be
together
bathed
in bliss

(Originally Posted 29.08.2020)

0

Self Torture

Back then my head

Was in such a mess

I couldn’t even wish myself

A peaceful death

Out With A Bang

What is this
stabbing pain
in my chest?

Why is it
causing me
such unrest?

Fingers
crossed it’s
a heart attack

Then I
can leave
this place

And never
come back

(Originally Posted 23.08.2019)

10

‘The Sleeping Death’

Who am I trying to kid

She said

If anyone comes for me

It’ll be the evil queen

She said

With a poisoned apple or three

Kissing Frogs

I sit here on the sofa

All alone

With the hope of love

Completely gone

Yet I dare to dream

That perhaps one day

My prince will come

To kiss the pain away

(Originally Posted 23.08.2021)

0

The Chosen One

I have long wanted to end it all

But you were always so full of purpose

As most can attest

Fate is a fickle mistress

But did she really have to curse us?

Do You Hear Me?

I’m still angry

You see

That you died

Before me

It’s just not

The way

It was meant

To be

Xxx

(Originally Posted 21.08.2020)

0

A Digital Death

You should be given a manual

For when your loved one dies

Not just on how to cope with grief

But practical advice

There’s so many things you have to do

When you’re under all that pressure

It’s no wonder some things are forgotten

And then they’re lost, forever

I Should Have Done It Back Then

The last link

Has been ripped away

Our final tether

Is severed

And all I can hear

Is your voice

Telling me

That I really should’ve done better

Xxx

0

‘Taking Different Roads’

Ultimately,
I can’t
come
back

For an
earthly
body,
I now
lack

But
regardless
of that,
you should
know

I’ll
always be
with you,
wherever
you go

Love Lost

If I
promise
to love
you
more

Than
I ever
did
before

Would
you
come
back
to me?

Xxx

(Originally Posted 16.08.2020)

6

I Should Have Known

The ultimate head fuck

For an obsessive planner like me

Is the loss of his soul

Was outwith my control

And something I did not forsee

(In)Competent

Out
of
all
the
things

I
can
say
or
do

What
hurts
me
the
most

Is
that
I couldn’t
save
you

Xxx

(Originally Posted 08.07.2020)

2

Switching Off The Machine

I had forgotten

Ever writing this

But reading it now

It’s so clear to see

Why the overwhelming trauma

I endured that morning

Will never leave

My memory

Sigh

Sorry
it must
end
this way

She
said

But
I need
to let
you go

Please
don’t
forget
what we
had

He
said

Or
how
I loved
you
so

(Originally Posted 07.07.2020)

7

It’s Still Theft

You would never just take an item

If it didn’t belong to you

Just because someone

Has since died

It doesn’t make that any less true

Too Big For Your Boots

I’d rather watch them burn

Than see them in your hands

How you even think

You could ever lay claim

I will never understand

(Originally Posted 28.06.2021)

8

‘Don’t Fear The Reaper’

You appear to me in a way

That is beyond my cognition

Emerging slowly into the light

As a ghostly apparition

I hear you whisper softly

How it is now your mission

To close the void between us

And put an end to Deaths partition

Mausoleum

In
the
graveyard

Of
my
mind

Is
where
the
memories

Of
us
reside

So
when
I’m
alone

In
the
dead
of
night

I
walk
the
tombs

Of
our
love’s
plight

(Originally Posted 23.06.2020)

4

Only Traces Left

No matter how hard you strive

To keep a memory alive

They’re always forgotten

In the end

At All

I reach
for your hand,
but it’s not there,
and further into
the abyss
I fall.

I search
for your face,
but you don’t care,
and it’s like we
were never here
at all.

(Originally Posted 20.06.2019)

12

That It Comes To This

No one talks about you

Anymore

It’s like you were never here

And for that

I’ll never forgive them

On all that I hold dear

Commitment

You were
always so
terrified
that I
would leave.

When,
after all
was said
and done,
I was the
only one
who stayed.

(Originally Posted 05.06.2019)

4

‘What Do I Do Now?’

Call me pessimistic

But I’m just being real

This isn’t just

What I think

This is exactly how I feel

Cruelty

In a perfect world,

There is someone for everyone.

You meet each other.

You fall in love.

And you stay together,

Forever.

Ours, however, is a cruel world.

There is someone for everyone,

But you might never meet them.

You might never fall in love.

And you might not stay together,

Forever.

Because they might die,

Before you do.

And then, you’re fucked.

(Originally Posted 03.05.2019)

0

Less For Murder

Nearly nineteen years of my life

That’s what you had when you were alive

And now three years on

Since you’ve been gone

It still feels like me who died

The Debt Collector

You’ve
stolen
my life
from me

In
oh so
many
ways

It may well
have been
you that
died

But
I’m
the one
who pays

(Originally Posted 17.03.2020)

13

Switching Sides

I felt like this

To begin with

When I still thought I could move on

But now I know

How fucking hard that is

I wish it was me that had gone

Who Goes First

It’s better that I’m living without you

Rather than you living without me

You’d never cope with this pain

It has wrecked me

But it would have destroyed you

And I would have hated that

(Originally Posted 14.03.2019)

8

A Semi Shared Experience

And still your agony continues

In difference to me

She continues to linger on

Whilst he’s already been set free

Foreboding

It’s all just so wrong

This shouldn’t be happening to you

Not as it hasn’t been that long

Since it happened to me too

I’m not sure how to act

And I’m not sure what to say

For there’s nothing that can take the pain

Of what’s to come away

(Originally Posted 06.03.2020)

0

#13 The Killer

Let’s have a game

Of hide and seek

I’ll play fair

I won’t peek

It’s the thrill

Of the hunt

That does it

For me

Your actual death

I could take or leave

9

#9 The Nurse

It was she

Who stopped my hands from shaking

She

Who stopped my head from aching

She

Who stopped my voice from quaking

So why can’t she stop

My heart from breaking?

6

Some Hit Harder Than Others

You could have been

So much more

But you drank it all away

I know deep down

Your heart was sore

And that you didn’t want to stay

But I wish you knew

How much we cared

And only wanted the best

Now you’re no longer here

We hope

You are finally at rest

(For O.R)

18

Funeral Arrangements

I took care of everything

But no one took care of me

Did it even occur to you

All that I had been through

And what was then my reality

6

For L.

I miss you today

More than ever

Sitting outside in

This stunning weather

If only we could meet again

Even after all this time

As we’d still have

Such a fucking laugh

And drain a bottle (or two) of wine

16

Memorial Memories

It’s been two years since you left me

Sitting all alone in that church

Cold, confused and crying

So painfully in the lurch

But it’s not really his death you know,

That has been the most pernicious

It’s how the rest of you have chosen to be

So incredibly fucking malicious

10

Fuck You Death

Fuck you death

She said

You really don’t scare me

That’s what you all say

He said

But through your lies I see

25

If He Goes, I Go

When he asked if she was OK, she smiled and nodded her head.

She didn’t have the heart to tell him she wished that she was dead.

When he brushed the tears from her eyes, she winced and turned away.

She didn’t have the heart to tell him she wished that he could stay.

When he held her for the last time, she knew she would get her wish.

She didn’t have the heart to tell him she’d already planned for this.

(Originally Posted 23.06.2019)

14

The Siren

I hear her calling my name,
Luring me to the murky depths.

Her song, beckons me.
Her promise, tantalises me.

I am compelled to listen.
I am urged to respond.

But she is all the way out at sea,
And I never learned to swim.

(Originally Posted 23.04.2019)

9

Murderer

My heart is empty now;
it can never be filled.

My life is over now;
my spirit you have killed.

(Originally Posted 16.07.2019)

28

Sailing

‘Choppy waters ahead, Captain, but I see dry land on the horizon’.

‘Drop anchor here then, Sailor, for I’d prefer to die in the storm’.

(Originally Posted 27.03.2019)

14

Shapes

Leave
this
place,
the
light
shape
whispers,
for
it
is
not
your
time.

I’m
staying
here,
the
dark
shape
whispers,
for
now
I
want
what’s
mine.

(Originally Posted 16.05.2019)

4

God’s Plan

Widowed when you're 38

He said 

That's my plan for you 

Well all I can say to that 

She said

Is seriously, fuck you

(Originally Posted 14.4.2019)
34

Invisible Injuries

Death leaves
scars on the
hearts of
the living.

Unstitchable
wounds
destined to
irritate those
forced to
bear them,
forever.

(Originally Posted 13.5.2019)

16

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