Category: Grieving

“Coping By Not Having To Cope”

When he died

And you’d nothing left

How did you deal

With the emptiness?

I filled it up

With pills and gin

In the vainest of hopes

I could forget him

And did you find

That it worked

They helped wash away

The pain and hurt

Some days did feel

Like less of a chore

But, in the end, the grief

Got too big to ignore

7

Moving

I remember the day

We got the keys

Thinking the rest

Would be a breeze

But now I sit and rot

All alone

In what should have been

Our forever home

6

The Gradual Loss

It seems

The inevitable

Has happened

And I have finally

Gone mad

As I’m starting

To forget

The good things

Instead

Of just the bad

12

Just A Glimpse

When I saw him

Again today

All of that pain

Was washed away

Until I realised

It wasn’t him

And my heart, once more,

Cracked

From within

2

At The Widows Support Group

Do you ever miss him?

All the time, she said

Each night I cry

Screaming “why?”

As I lay down

In our bed

Do you ever miss him?

Never once, she said

The second he’d gone

I just moved on

To someone else

Instead 

8

On Kindness

I’ll never forget

You sat with me

When I was as sad

As sad could be

And even though

You didn’t agree

You just let me talk

And made me tea

8

For Clarity

I know

That we

Have

Hardly

Spoken

But my

Insides

Are now

Broken

And what

Is left

Merely

A token

Of the

Woman

I used to be

2

Flimsy

It never ceases to amaze me

How quickly the tears can flow

At some moment of nostalgia

Or sentimental TV show

I guess it’s just indicative

Of how most days I can deal

But just beneath the surface

Lurks a trauma yet to heal

2

“I Was Sorry To Hear About Your Dad…”

I remembered what

It was like today

Back when that pain

Gnawed away

When his death broke me

To the sum of my parts

And my mental health

Was off the charts

And although with her

I did empathise

I couldn’t be false

Or tell her lies

So I whispered the truth

As I’ve come to accept it

Although time does heal

It can never correct it

0

Welcome Interruptions

I’ve found if you socialise enough 

Sometimes, it actually works 

Then it’s only when 

You’re alone again 

That it really fucking hurts 

4

Trivial

I just can’t seem

To complete a task

However big,

Or small

I guess what once meant

Everything to me

Now means nothing

At all

2

Fuzzy With Time

Imprint those times

On your mind

As it won’t be long

Before you find

What you remember

When they’re dead

Is the all pointless

Shit instead

4

Rewired

I used to be nice

I used to be kind

Then something happened

That changed my mind

Now I’m angry

Now I’m mean

With very little left

In-between

3

Overcome

Most of the time

I do quite wells

Smile on my face

Everything swell

But when those tears

Decide to fall

The reality is

There’s fuck all

I can do

To save myself

From drowning

0

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