Category: Grieving

Getting On With The Job

Why should they rememeber

He said

Every year

When you never even talk

About him here

Well, it’s not like they cared

She said

In the first fucking place

Back when the pain was still written

All over my face

3

Gone

Love him while

You still can

As the hands of death

Wait for no man

2

Sleeping On Trains

From the corner

Of my eye

I see you

Sitting there

Her head resting

On your thigh

Your fingers

Stroking her hair

I remember those days

My head touching his

When my heart

Would do nothing but flip

Yet all I feel now

Seeing such bliss

Is the overwhelming urge

To be sick

2

Unplanned

When we said

Goodbye that day

We didn’t know

It would be

Forever

And yet

I’m left

Here alone

With only

Our memories

To treasure

2

Stolen

You will never be forgiven

For what you took from me

Not just my only lover

But my whole identity

And even though you did it

A near whole five years ago

I am yet to fully recover

Or let my seething anger go

6

Top Of The Pops

When those bands
Of old
Don’t speak to you
And the comfort
Of music
Is gone

It won’t matter
Where
Because
I’ll be there
To help you
Carry on

2

Unhealthy Pursuits

Perhaps I should climb

A mountain

Or sail off

On a round the cruise

Anything to relieve

This having to grieve

After all,

What have I got to lose?

‘I Could Be Wrong / I Could Be Right…’

The
pressure
is on
to find
meaning

In
this so
called
life of
mine

But
I just
can’t
help but
feeling

That
it’s a
total
waste
of time

(Originally Posted 27.02.2020)

2

Writing The Book On Grief

Now it’s just over

Four years for me

And although

I’ve learned a lot

I still couldn’t claim

I know enough to explain

Or even to give it

A decent shot

Bereavement

Just
when
I think
I’ve got
no tears
left

They
fall
down
my
face
again

Why
the fuck
didn’t
someone
tell
me

How
to
prepare
for all
this
pain

(Originally Posted 19.02.2020)

0

Believing

How I remember

Feeling this way

That nothing again

Would be OK

But now I’ve got

Some feeling back

I see a glimmer of hope

Through the crack

Grieving

Are you
sure it’s
gone

He
said

What
about
love

Compassion?

Make
no
mistake

She
said

I’ve
lost
it all

Her
face,
as it was,
ashen

(Originally Posted 18.02.2020)

0

Premature

I know your heart’s

In the right place

And that deep down

You mean well

But your good intentions

Mean nothing

While I’m trapped

In this hell

Two Cents Worth

It will get better with time

They lied

Before my tears

Had even dried

(Originally Posted 18.02.2020)

4

A Braver Man Than Me

At least when it all

Happened to me

I had what I’d call

The luxury

Of only having myself

To pull through this shit

And not have any kids

To help cope with it

Inconceivable

Mind
racing

Legs
pacing

Sheer
disbelief

At what
you’re
facing

(Originally Posted 12.02.2020)

0

Uproar

So much changes

When your partner dies

Infinitely more

Than you would ever realise

Soul Bar(e)ing

I mourn
the loss
of us

Even more
than the
loss of
you

(Originally Posted 23.01.2020)

0

The Grief Counsellor

I know you don’t want to hear it

But you can’t run before you can walk

There is no way to beat it

So it’s best to just sit down and talk

Cheats Never Prosper

If there is one thing

I have learned

It’s that you cannot skip

The stages

Even if that means

Moving forward

Feels like it’s taking

Fucking ages

If you jump

Too far forward

You’ll only fall

Further back

And all you’re doing

Is storing your pain

For further

Down the track

(Originally Posted 23.01.2021)

0

Rarer

I can get through

Most days now

Without crying

Over you

But sometimes it hits

Like a ton of bricks

And there is nothing

I can do

Recurring

The tears I cried

When you died

Will never fully dry

For with each day

Dawns a new array

Of pain I can’t deny

Xxx

(Originally Posted 22.01.2021)

4

Minutiae

You think that when

Someone dies

It’s the big things

That you’ll miss

But what causes pain

To grieving brain

Is missing the small things

That they did

Even A Broken Clock Is Right Twice A Day

I can’t
even
change

The time
on the
oven

It’s just
one more
thing

I have
discovered

Since
you’ve
gone

(Originally Posted 04.01.2020)

2

Living On The Edge

All those years

Spent with you

Silently

Being driven mad

But there’s no denying

(So it’s pointless trying)

That they were the best

I’ve ever had

Taking Things For Granted

I always
thought
being
with you
was hell

Seems
the boredom
of being
without you
is worse

Xxx

(Originally Posted 03.01.2022)

2

Getting By

I know you put

A brave face on

I know as I did it

Myself

Not just because

You’re thinking of others

But more to protect

Yourself

Are You Okay?

I want to ask

But I’m far too scared

For I already know

As into those depths

I’ve stared

(Originally Posted 02.01.2020)

4

Missing The Boat

It’ll most likely be

Like the last four

Wondering what the fuck

I stuck around for

20/20

However
will I
make it
through

Another
year
without
you?

(Originally Posted 31.12.2019)

2

Getting Off Lightly

Grief affects everyone

In many different ways

Yet some among us

Prove lucky enough

To escape the daily malaise

Poles Apart

I still cry myself to sleep

Not that you’d know

You selfish creep

You think because

We all lost him

That we both feel the same

But you haven’t got

A fucking clue

Of how I live each day in pain

(Originally Posted 30.12.2020)

2

Looking On

Of course I remember

How it feels

Down to the very last letter

But it wouldn’t matter

What I tried

Nothing can make it better

Utterly Helpless

I really wish
I could do more

Like pick you up
from the bathroom floor

Hug you when
your heart is breaking

Give you comfort
when your bones are aching

But for as much as
your pain to me is known

This is a journey
you must walk alone

(Originally Posted 27.12.2019)

10

Firsts

There was nothing else

That I could do

Nothing else

That I could say

Other than

To remind them all

That it’s just

Another day

Brutal Honesty

I wish
I could
take

Your
pain
away

Tell
you
everything

Will
be
okay

But
I know
the truth

It
doesn’t
get
better

When
what
you had

Is lost
forever

(Originally Posted 27.12.2019)

2

‘Blue Christmas’

It’s the time of year

Again

For that age old

Platitude

The one I’m expected

To receive

With a kindly

Gratitude

“It must be hard for you”

They say

“Especially at this time of year”

I want

To say

It’s hard

Every day

But that’s not

What they want to hear

Who The Fuck Are ‘They’ Anyway?

Time heals

Or so they say

Well, let me tell you

They fucking lie

Time does nothing

But march on

And you’re left

With no right to reply

(Originally Posted 22.12.2021)

0

Terminal

I’m not sure
Who suffers more
Those who are
Oblivious
Or those who know
What’s in store

Identity Crisis

In
some
ways
losing
myself
has
been
harder
than
losing
you

(Originally Posted 22.12.2019)

0

Clocking In

Never

Do I feel this more

Than each time I walk

Through that door

Sown Up

I don’t feel better.

I haven’t forgotten.

I’ve just stopped telling you,

How I feel.

(Originally Posted 15.12.2020)

0

Only The Half Of It

Reading this one back again

I feel so sorry for her

Clearly she lost more,

When he died,

Than her words could ever infer

I Can’t Bring You Back Though, Can I?

I can look at your photo

I can whisper your name

I can press your shirt

Against my face

But nothing feels the same

(Originally Posted 11.12.2020)

0

The Lochaber Traverse

I gave away

Your boots today

To a charity shop

For next time I know

I’ll be walking alone

All along that rugged hilltop

Gone For Good

What I have lost

Can’t be replaced

For our footsteps

Can’t be retraced

(Originally Posted 10.12.2019)

2

Sleeping Alone

I thought having sex with strangers

Would get him out of my head

And though it filled a hole

That wasn’t my goal

So now it’s back to my own bed

Going Too Far

Lying
here
alone

In
this
strange
bed

Wondering
what the
fuck

Was
in my
head

Now I
must
ignore

This
feeling
of dread

And
stop
wishing
that I’d

Stayed
home
instead

(Originally Posted 07.12.2020)

2

It’ll Need Stitches

I can clean it with antiseptic

He said

And cover it with a plaster

It won’t make any difference

She said

It’s still a fucking disaster

Bleeding

It feels
like I’ve
been
robbed,
she said,

Of the
only
love
in my
life

This
pain
just
runs
so deep,
she sobbed,

As it
cuts
through me
like a
knife

(Originally Posted 05.12.2019)

4

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