"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
Why don’t you just move on
They ask
And find another man
I’ve neither the inclination
I reply
Or the attention span
Stupid Questions
Do
you
still
think
of him
They
ask
Every
single
day
I
reply
Will
you
ever
stop
They
ask
Not
until
the
day
I die
(Originally Posted 08.10.2020)
I remember there was
A lot of this back then
People calling, fawning,
And trying to be my friend
Now I think about it, perhaps,
They just didn’t know what to say
But at the time I recall how much I wished
They’d just stayed the fuck away
Fake Flowers
Your fake
concern
disgusts me
Your false
condolences
knock me sick
If you
really want
to comfort me
Just piss off
and leave me
alone,
Prick
(Originally Posted 07.10.2019)
I’ve actually done
Pretty well to be fair
Staying on here
With all this pain to bear
I guess I have found ways
To make it my own
But this place will never not be
Our forever home
Haunted
Death
peers in
through
the gloom
As I
lie here
alone in
this room
Upon
this bed
we once
shared
Crying for
the love
we once
declared
(Originally Posted 06.10.2019)
I probably did write this
On a Tuesday
Fuelled by coffee
And nicotine
But in truth
This could’ve been posted
On any given day
Back in twenty nineteen
Tuesday
I called in sick for work today.
My heart just couldn’t come out to play.
All I’ve done is lie in bed
Filled with thoughts of fear and dread.
With nausea consuming every movement,
My mood shows no sign of any improvement.
I hate existing like this.
Full of anger, self loathing and all that shit.
I wonder how much more emotion can I conceal
Before I decide to end it all for real
(Originally Posted 03.09.2019)
It’s never too far away
That shadow
I see it from the corner
Of my eye
An ever present reminder
Of what we lost
And when we had
To say goodbye
Mourning
Darkness
casts a
shadow
over my
head
As it
does
over
my
heart
Thoughts
and
dreams
of you
abound
As does
sorrow
that
we’d to
part
(Originally Posted 27.09.2019)
Seriously
They said
Do you have to be so fucking dramatic
One day you will feel the same
She said
When you experience something as tragic
The Double Bed
It’s been so quiet
Since you left
All I hear
Is my own breath
As I lie here alone
And wait for death
(Originally Posted 25.09.2020)
Three years on
And although further forward
By the pain of his death
I am still tortured
At A Bedside, Desolate
There
is no
more
hope.
There
are no
more
dreams.
My life
continues
to fall apart
at the seams,
As I
lie here
thinking
of you.
And
wondering
what the fuck
I’m supposed
to do,
Now.
(Originally Posted 24.09.2019)
That I ever thought
Those pills would work
Is actually quite preposterous
For I have found
To my cost
That the pit of my stomach is bottomless
Prescription For A Broken Heart
I took
the first
one this
morning
The rest
won’t be
hard to
swallow
Soon
my belly
will be
full
And I’ll
no longer
feel so
hollow
(Originally Posted 24.09.2019)
To be fair
I have gotten better
I can look at a photo
Or read a letter
But I find it best
Not to get too immersed
Because, after all,
It still fucking hurts
Wall Art
I can’t
look at
your
photos
anymore
They make
my heart
too heavy
and my eyes
too sore
(Originally Posted 20.09.2019)
I still don’t really understand
Why I was left feeling so at sea
As I was always the one
Who steadied our ship
It’s not like you ever looked after me
Without You
Life
is just
shit
without
you
I’ve got
nothing
left to
hold
on to
If
only
you were
still
here
Then I’d
have
nothing
left
to fear
(Originally Posted 19.09.2019)
You really have to stop hoping
She said
That all of this will end
To think you’ll ever be free
She said
Really is madness my friend
Sunrise
I woke
up crying
again today
So much so
I struggled
to breathe
How much
longer must
I endure this?
When is
there an end
to this grief
(Originally Posted 18.09.2019)
Modern medicine hasn’t helped
She said
No pill or therapy
Then you’ve done the right thing
It said
By coming to talk to me
Witchcraft
I thought
talking
would make
it easier
But if
anything
it’s made
it worse
It seems
there is
nothing
I can do
To rid
myself
of this
curse
(Originally Posted 18.09.2019)
Grief doesn’t come with a manual
And neither, you’ll find, does life
So you just have to go on
Now they’re gone
And hope that you stay alive
NUMB
I
didn’t
think
It
would
be
like
this
Whatever
this
is
(Originally Posted 17.09.2019)
When feelings
Are so intrinsic
Language
Is best kept simplistic
Random #19
It
just
fucking
hurts
(Originally Posted 14.09.2019)
I guess
Looking back
You can’t be sure
Why you did the things you did
Reflection, it seems,
Isn’t for the dead
It is the curse
For those who live
Happy
I
miss
you
I
miss
us
I wish we
could just
go back
To
how it
was
Before
all
of this
Before
things turned
to shit
And we
were
happy
Because
we were
happy
I
was
happy
Wasn’t I?
(Originally Posted 13.09.2019)
I know you’re looking
To me for help
But I am just
As clueless myself
I’m Sorry
It hurt
to see
the pain
in your
eyes
I felt
every
ache
of your
heart
If only
I could
ease the
anguish
you feel
But
I’ve no
wisdom
left to
impart
(Originally Posted 10.09.2019)
Nothing prepares them
For what’s to come
The devastation
And then some
All I can say
As I watch them have fun
Is just be there for them
When they are done
Piercing
It looks
like this
situation
I may have
misjudged
As not
once did I
think it
would hurt
this much
(Originally Posted 09.09.2019)
I booked the day off work today
As I knew I’d want to be alone
I wouldn’t want to see anyone
Or even speak on the phone
It’s not that I’m ungrateful
Or I don’t appreciate the intent
But people just don’t realise
That, emotionally, I’m spent
Rest In Peace
Someone
sent me
flowers
today
And for
their
kindness
I was
thankful
But
I still
chucked
them
in the
bin
For of
condolences
I’ve had
a tankful
(Originally Posted 08.09.2020)
It takes me by surprise
Every year
If I can just yet through that day,
I think,
Then everthing will be ok
But it’s not
A Hard Week
Now that
the darkness
has descended
All my
happiness
has ended
Deep into
my soul
I have delved
And all
future plans
I have shelved
(Originally Posted 06.09.2019
I went back to work too early
Of that I have no doubt
But with bills to pay
Much to my dismay
I had no choice but to force myself out
Tuesday
I called in sick for work today.
My heart just couldn’t come out to play.
All I’ve done is lie in bed
Filled with thoughts of fear and dread.
With nausea consuming every movement,
My mood shows no sign of improvement.
I hate existing like this.
Full of anger, self loathing and all that shit.
I wonder how much more I can conceal
Before I decide to end it for real
(Originally Posted 03.09.2019)
I couldn’t begin tell you
How true this one still is
As even now I spend each morning
Screaming into the abyss
#7 The Banshee
After all the wailing
And gnashing of teeth
There’s no point in being violent
From now on
With my spirit long gone
All my screams will be silent
(Originally Posted 02.09.2021)
This was so true
For much of that first year
In fact it’s only now
I have realised
How much his illness
And his death
Had left me
Paralysed
The Robbery
Your illness
robbed you
of your life
And it
robbed me
of my mind
Your death
still cuts me
like a knife
So now
to madness
I am inclined
(Originally Posted 01.09.2019)
This is it
Where she now lies
The lonely widow
Who always cried
If only she
Had married again
Perhaps she may
Have forgotten her pain
Lovers Reunited
If I
can’t have
the one
that’s gone
then I’ll
just wait
out here,
alone,
until there’s
an end
to all
this pain
and our
hearts can
beat together
again
(Originally Posted 31.08.2019)
All those petty squabbles you had
The cold shoulders and silent treatment
They all come home to roost,
You know,
When you’re dealing with bereavement
Bedtime Bickering
And
you
accuse
me of
being
flirtatious?
When
your
behaviour
tonight
has been
outrageous!
(Originally Posted 30.08.2020)
If I ever get round
To publishing that book
This will be the inscription
Not only does it sound
Like a pretty good hook
It’s also an accurate description
Last Year
It wasn’t
just the
end of us
It was
the end of
everything
Xxx
(Originally Posted 29.08.2019)
I used to hide
So much back then
I’m amazed I got through the day
Reading this I remember
How exhausted I was
Pretending that I was okay
Secret Anxiety
Sickness grows
Frustration shows
Conversation slows
But no one knows
(Originally Posted 28.09.2019)
People say things
Get better with time
Which may be their truth
But it isn’t mine
Not Long Now
Each day brings
Yet more false hope
Along with an another
Earth shattering new low
I really am just
Biding my time now
Waiting until
It’s my turn to go
(Originally Posted 27.08.2019)
Then you asked
If I got it back
Never
I replied
That was the day
When it all
Went black
And I was forever
Left dead inside
Q&A
You ask
What
I left
Behind
Nothing
I answer
Just
My mind
(Originally Posted 24.08.2020)
You don’t even remember
The time of year
Let alone the date
You’ve moved on
Even though he’s gone
While all I can do is wait
Left
I
missed
you
again
today
Everyone
else
had
gone
away
And
it was
just me
here
alone
Crying
for the
love
I had
once
known
(Originally Posted 19.08.2019)
There were so many photos taken
Back in twenty nineteen
And I had to pose
All alone
With a gap where you should’ve been
Speechless
There is so much
I want to tell you
So many things
I want to share
But my tears flow
all over again
When I realise
you’re not there
(Originally Posted 15.08.2019)
It was about
My job this one
And how I could
No longer empathise
Even three years on
The desire is gone
And my apathy
Pretty hard to disguise
New Life
I’m still
nowhere
near the
same
She
said
Something
inside me has
permanently
changed
I can no
longer
play
this game
She
said
Unless a
new life
can be
arranged
(Originally Posted 14.08.2019)
You must be logged in to post a comment.