"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
What do you do when there’s nothing left
When your darkest thoughts you’ve mined?
Perhaps a delve back into the past
For any gems you’ve left behind?
With my third year on WordPress approaching
I’m taking a look back inside my head
So apologies if you see what you’ve seen before
But it’ll be words I still need said
You really are quite brilliant
They said
Perhaps you should write a book
I doubt anyone would buy it
She said
Knowing my fucking luck
Not much of this is pretty
Very little here is smart
Quite often it is shitty
But it’s always from the heart
All
you
do
He
said
Is
whine
and
moan
I'm
surprised
anyone
reads
this
pish
Well,
perhaps
if you
She
said
Weren't
such a
prick
My
words
wouldn't
so easily
flourish
I scythe these words
Across the page
To allow my pain to flow
I find it leaves
Much less of a scar
Than other ways I know
I’m neither little
Nor quite charming
In fact my words
Can be most alarming
But the friends I’ve made
In different ways
All serve to brighten
My darkest days
So thanks to you all
For reading my shit
It warms this dark heart
Just a little bit
“If I was to ever
Look for another muse
It wouldn’t be you
Who I would choose
For I’d much rather
Pick someone smart
With the open mind of a Liberal
But without the bleeding heart”
An artist for the ages
Your words leave me floored
What else is there to say?
Other than please, give me more
I post here twice a day
Not knowing who will read
Is anyone even interested?
Do my words fulfill a need?
Is there humour in my blog?
Or do you just find it sad?
Do I come across as normal?
Or do you think I’m mad?
I’m interested in what you think
I’d really love to know
So without fear of recrimination
Please comment your thoughts below
You’d
think it
would
take
some
effort
To
write
as
much
as
this
Well
please
don’t
think
me
arrogant
But
it’s
really
a piece
of piss
In
order
to keep
what is
rightfully
mine
There’s
no other
choice
but to
retire
online
How
much
moreMust
I writeBefore
you
come to
save
me?How
much
moreMust
I fightBefore
you
run to
embrace
me?
One
day
I will
write
novelsAll
about
you
and
meOf
how
we left
those
hovelsAnd
found
our
sanctuary
You’ve
been
on my
mind
today
More
than
any
other
time
If only
it had
inspired
something
epic
And
not this
fucking
awful
rhyme
If we
could
meet
We’d
drink
a brew
And
maybe
share
A
laugh
or two
Yet we
would
know
At the
end of
the day
What
connects
us both
Is
life’s
decay
I
really
only
write
What
everyone
else is
thinking
I just
do what
comes
naturally
And
without
even
flinching
Sometimes
I depress
myself
As these
thoughts
fill the
page
Why
am I
here
Wasting
everyone’s
time
Hoping
someone
will
engage
Vocabularians of the world unite
To put the wrongs of our world right
To give a voice to those too tired to fight
And into the darkness bring forth the light
I
scroll
through
your words
And
realise
mine don’t
compare
For
you all
write so
beautifully
Whereas
I splurge
without
a care
There’s
nothing
more
disheartening
That
brings
such
misery
and
strife
To
find
I’m
much
more
captivating
On
the
page
Than
in
real
life
A kind man once said to me
You can be anything you want to be
But it’s hard to believe that you could matter
In amongst all this chatter
A kind man once said to me
You can do anything you want to do
But it’s hard to believe that could be true
When you live your life as I do
A kind man once said to me
You can say whatever you want
But it’s hard to believe you could speak that way
When you’ve never felt that it’s okay
A kind man once said to me
You are capable of more than you think
But it’s hard to believe you could make that link
As your heart, once more, begins to sink
Thirty
six
thousand
words
And
each
one of
them
shite
But now
I’ve
passed
one
thousand
followers
I
must
be doing
something
right
I’m
sorry
I haven’t
been
around
As
much
as I’d
like
to be
But
lately
my life
has run
aground
And
your
words
won’t
go in,
You see
And honest
Is my first
Don’t bother
Reading on
Without expecting
The worst
The words come
In fits and starts
All broken parts
Of what I was
And all I’ll ever be
Now you’re gone
It’s
hard to
write
it all
down
What
I’ve
been
feeling
inside
But now
is the
time to
start
again
For the
truth
I’ll no
longer
hide
I wish I could
take your plauditBut I just write
what comes to meMy inability
to self editLaid bare for
all to see
What
is the
point
in any
of this
In
trying
so hard
all this
time?
What
do I
hope to
achieve
anyway
By
writing
this
useless
rhyme?
Sometimes
my words
are so
savage
I even
surprise
myself
It’s like
the page
I must
ravage
With no
care at
all for
yourself
Please
take no
notice
of me
For I’m
as fucked
as anyone
can be
So don’t
let what
I write
enthrall
As it
is just
words,
after all
It was
exactly
one
year
ago
today
That I
entered
into
this
WordPress
fray
Thank
you to
everyone
for bringing
me such
happiness
Despite
all
of my
unrelenting
crappiness
One
thousand
poemsAnd I am
finally
doneThis
battle is
now overAnd my
war has
been won
I like
it when
you laugh
He said
I wish
you’d do
it more
Just write
another
paragraph
She said
Then you’ll
really see
me roar
Words
pour
out
of me
Like
wax
from
a candle
If only
I’d
known
before
now
That
writing
would be
too hot to
handle
Solace
comes
swiftly
to
those
who
readFor
those
who can
devour
words
are
freed
Resist
that
urge
To
binge
and
purge
Put
the box
back
under
the bed
Before
the
demons
emerge
And
your
emotions
splurge
Find a
pen and
start
writing
instead
Why
do you
write
these
poems
He
said
If
you’re
not
going
to show
everyone?
Because
these
words
are
my life
She
said
They
are
not
for
just
anyone
I don’t
think
I have
anything
to say
Today
Perhaps
there
will be
more
sorrow
Tomorrow
So I
will
wait to
pick up
my pen
Then
For I
fear I
wouldn’t
even
know how
Now
I am
so happy
to be
here
with
you
Because
you
like
writing
poetry
too
Although
you
just
press
random
words
And
I
like
using
rhyming
verse
How long
can you
go on
writing
When
your only
inspiration
is spite?
And now
you’ve had
to start
forgiving
So that
you can
sleep
at night
A
new
year
begins
Bringing
with it a
new look
I hope
that you
like it
Considering
how fucking
long it took
I could
never
write as
fancilyAs
many
others
here doI just don’t
have the
talent,
franklyFor much
more
than a
fuck you
The words
I write
may well
be starkFor they
are made
to leave
their markUpon your
weak and
thready
heartForever
Some pills
make it
better
Some
make it
worse
Sometimes
the only
solace
Resides
in written
verse
Why oh
why can’t
you write
such
poetry
for me?
For our
love is
forbidden
and so
could
never be!
The
words
advance
in waves
Their
ferocity
I cannot
stop
But all
too soon
there’s
nothing left
As I’ve
wrung
out every
last drop
There’s
only so
much I
can write
Before
I go
to sleep
tonight
My
eyes are
heavy and
overtired
My
head is
weary and
overfired
Punctuation;
is (only) as important,
as you ‘want’ it to be.
It’s easier to connect with other artists these days than it is to any of my friends.
It’s because we understand how shit things are, I think, when the madness descends.
Beginnings
Endings
Happiness
Sadness
Relationships
Break ups
Love
Loss
Life
Death
If only I
could pair
beautiful
imagery with
my words,
lilting melody
to my song,
revelatory
meaning to
my poetry…
Perhaps it
wouldn’t
bore the
shit out
of you
as much
to read it,
as it
does me to
write it.
'Don't be afraid to start poorly'
the kind man wrote
'I will try'
the sad woman replied
And she did
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 