Just Another Chore

Let’s make love tonight

He said

Until we reach

The heights of heaven

Just fucking stick it in

She said

I’ve got to be up

At seven

8

Charming Collaborations #4

“Touch And Go”

were i to ask
for truth,

which would
you spin?

The kind that
pushes
back…

or lets me in?

Written in collaboration with @grumpygorman at handsinthegarden.com ©2023

8

Charming Collaborations #3

“Untitled”

time coasts past
like clouds of
dream

sweet spoken words
lost in-between

the truth’s not
really what it
seems,

so often bared,
but seldom
seen.

Written in collaboration with @grumpygorman at handsinthegarden.com ©2023

5

Charming Collaborations #2

“But My Eyes Still See”

not every quiet’s
golden,

some grow rank
with mold,

blue blooming
with decay

with truths we’ve
fail to say.

Written in collaboration with @grumpygorman at handsinthegarden.com ©2023

4

Charming Collaborations #1

“Not Too Rough”

she said she wasn’t
built for this

but was too smitten
to resist the risk,

stating “let’s just see what
happens”

numb from being flattered
and then flattened

by the well meaning
hands

of some overly
eager
man.

Written in collaboration with @grumpygorman at handsinthegarden.com ©2023

2

Vengeance

As you stand there

Wailing and weeping

Just be glad they’re all dead

And not just sleeping

2

The Run-Through

Skin like milk
Lips cherry red
Your outline etched
Inside my head

Making no sound
Thinking only instead
Of when we’ll fall
Into your bed

4

Top Of The Pops

When those bands
Of old
Don’t speak to you
And the comfort
Of music
Is gone

It won’t matter
Where
Because
I’ll be there
To help you
Carry on

2

All This For Nothing

When I asked how long

You’d wait for me

“Until the end of the world”

You said

Yet it only took seconds

When her lips beckoned

For you to fuck her

Instead

13

On Faith (And Smugness)

Go to bed

Say your prayers

Just ignore me

And the other nay sayers

If it makes you feel good

To utter those words

In the belief your request

Will be heard

Then pay no mind

To the likes of me

Heathens devoid

Of all piety

We’ll suffer one day

When He proves to be true

And we’ll regret not kneeling

Next to you

8

Unworthy

It seems as if

You’ve missed me

And my morbid tales

Of woe

Yet how anyone

Could miss

This pretentious

Bullshit

I will never know

12

Normal Service Is Resumed

I just needed

A bit of a break

For both my heart

And my minds sake

But now I’m back

Make no mistake

As there are both knives to sharpen

And old coals to rake

28

“I’ll Probably Never See You Again…”

When I first started 
Posting here 
I was struggling 
To hold on
A deep sadness
Had engulfed me
And all 
Of my hope 
Was gone 

My partner 
Of nigh on
Twenty years 
Had died
Just four months 
Before 
My heart 
Was broken 
And my life,
A token, 
I was failing
To endure 

Because, you see, 
He'd been taken
From me 
In the most horrific way
To witness 
If you've never seen it
I can tell you, 
With feeling, 
Cancer's a cunt
Of an illness 

So I began
To write again
As a way 
To express 
My emotions 
Thinking, 
At best, 
I might get 
Some rest
By recording
My rambling notions 

I knew
From the start 
Some readers 
Would baulk
At the truths 
That I'd lay bare
Suicidal thoughts 
And self harm, 
Of course, 
All referenced 
Without a care

But I had to be 
Authentically me
And reflect 
What I 
Was feeling 
Even though I knew 
The words 
I'd spew 
May leave 
More sensitive readers
Reeling 

And yet here 
I have found
Such a welcoming crowd
Who've helped me
Hugely 
When times were tough 
For their patience,
Kindness, 
And understanding 
I could never 
Thank them 
Enough 

So if you find
From here on in
That I'm no longer posting
As often 
Please know that you are, 
In no small part, 
The reason
I've started 
To soften 

And as for me 
Well, I will see
If I can continue 
To reduce 
My pain
But I'll take
Some comfort
And feel
A little triumphant 
Knowing, 
At least, 
I entertained 

❤️
72

Conversations With The Devil

I don’t care if it’s now

I don’t care if it’s later

Because now I know

Which way you’ll go

On the day you meet your maker

The Reckoning

If you
can’t
bear
to see
the hurt
you’ve
caused

Then
feel
free
to
look
away

For
I know
that
guilt
will
fuck
you up

And
you’ll
face
the
truth
one day

(Originally Posted 28.02.2020)

4

Lighter (Bonus Post)

Well thank fuck for that

She said

As she walked away

With her empty head

Fair And Square

One
thousand
poems

And I am
finally
done

This
battle is
now over

And my
war has
been won

(Originally Posted 29.02.2020)

2

Irreparable

Yet after all

That pushing

And shoving

Saying sorry

Actually

Changes nothing

‘All Apologies’

One down,

A thousand to go.

This shit is harder

Than it looks,

You know.

(Originally Posted 28.02.2020)

12

The Powder Keg (Bonus Post)

Neither of us

Can speak the truth

As both of us have

Too much to lose

In(sin)cerity

You claim
that
you
have
got it
rough

Well
on that
I call
bullshit

As I’m
the one
who’s
doing
it tough

You
fucking
hypocrite

(Originally Posted 29.02.2020)

0

Thinking Out Loud (Bonus Post)

I watch you from

Across the room

And see your face fill

With dread

If only you

Could see what I do

And quiet that voice

Inside your head

Internal Monologue

What the fuck
is wrong with you?

Just cheer up,
you miserable cunt

Your wallowing
is excruciating

And your self
pity an affront

(Originally Posted 29.02.2020)

2

Glee

It wasn’t really

What you did

That was so cold hearted

And ruthless

It was the look of pride

In your eyes

That I always found

The cruellest

E(strange)d

You can say
what you want

But you’re
still a cunt

Your actions
I cannot forgive

For I’ll bear
the brunt

Of your
audacious stunt

For as long as
we both shall live

(Originally Posted 28.02.2020)

0

In Retrospect

That’s the problem

With the past

As humans,

We tend to rose tint it

When in actual fact

If we really look back

It wasn’t quite like

How we wished it

Misrepresentation

The old days

Weren’t that good

Trust me,

I remember

(Originally Posted 27.02.2020)

0

“The Last Cowboy”

They say that art

Mirrors life

And my case

That was true

I decided

To stay with him

When I should

Have chosen you

Somewhere In Madison County

With one
hand
pressed
against
the door

I try
to work
out who
I love
more

And in
that split
second
I decide
to stay

I
throw
my chance
of happiness
away

(Originally Posted 27.02.2020)

4

Unhealthy Pursuits

Perhaps I should climb

A mountain

Or sail off

On a round the cruise

Anything to relieve

This having to grieve

After all,

What have I got to lose?

‘I Could Be Wrong / I Could Be Right…’

The
pressure
is on
to find
meaning

In
this so
called
life of
mine

But
I just
can’t
help but
feeling

That
it’s a
total
waste
of time

(Originally Posted 27.02.2020)

2

Easy Prey

It’s not

That you have

The audacity

To wear

My doorbell thin

It’s more

The fact

That I’m powerless

To act

And can’t help

But let you in

‘… Such Sweet Sorrow’

Every
time
we
say
goodbye

I wish
that
you
would
stay

For
another
part
of my
soul is
crushed

Each
time
you
walk
away

(Originally Posted 27.02.2020)

2

A Lost Cause

I know you think

You can change me

That your kindness

Will be enough

But trust me when I say

There’s been too much decay

For my heart to be capable

Of love

Bad Seed

I
wish
there
was a
way

To
make
you
see

That
good
boys
like
you

Aren’t
for
bad
girls
like me

(Originally Posted 26.02.2020)

4

All That Study, And For What?

I’ve seen so many

Of them now

You’d think one

Would’ve broken through

But not one

Of their degrees

Has helped cure

My disease

Or informed me

Of what to do

The Trick Cyclist

I’d
like to
cancel my
appointment

I don’t
want
to see
you today

What’s
the point
in getting
out of bed

When
you can’t
help me
anyway?

(Originally Posted 25.02.2020)

4

Animal Wrongs

Fuck knows why

I picked a zoo

I couldn’t think

Of anything worse

Starting something

Amid such abuse

Could only prove

To be a curse

Swipe Right

How’s
about
it

Just
us
two

Fancy
a
walk

Visit
the
zoo

Get
a
beer

Eat
some
food

Spend
the
night

Being
terribly
rude

(Originally Posted 25.02.2020)

0

Stark

Sometimes,

As a writer,

All that you can do

Is to drop

The flowery language

And just tell

The fucking truth

In Memoriam

There is nothing

Left to do

There isn’t anything

Else to say

I just really

Fucking miss him

Every single day

Xxx

(Originally Posted 25.02.2022)

4

Lying In Wait

The rope

Is in

The bin

For now

Having given

That monster

A swerve

But it’s safe

To assume

I can’t give him

Any room

As he’ll have

Kept some back

In reserve

Try Harder Next Time

The monster who lives

Under my bed

Whispers again

Why aren’t you dead

Berating me

For writing instead

And putting the rope

Back in the shed

(Originally Posted 24.02.2021)

2

The Lady Killer

Don’t think you can come

Crawling back now

Acting all innocent

And holier than thou

You and I both know

What you did back then

And why, in effect,

I’d wring your neck

Time and time again

Let It Burn

I have killed us

Once before

And I will happily

Do it again

For I am

No longer

In love with you

In fact we’re

Not even friends

(Originally Posted 24.02.2022)

2

Sea Legs

Now I can take

Longer strokes

And can draw

Bigger breaths

Perhaps one day

I’ll swim away

And escape

These murky depths

(Compass)ion

It must
be so easy
for you

Loving
your life
as you do

But spare a
thought for
the likes of me

Who drown
in a sea of
melancholy

(Originally Posted 23.02.2020)

0

Relocation

It wasn’t that

After our spat

I just put up

The ‘no vacancies’ sign

But I sold the whole

B & B

And left all your bullshit

Behind

No Vacancies

I don’t
want you
to visit

When all
you bring
is pain

I’d rather
stay home
alone

And break
this toxic
chain

(Originally Posted 23.02.2020)

2

Wednesdays Aren’t Much Better

I eat

I drink

I sleep

I breathe

But with

Very little else

Inbetween

I Fucking Hate Tuesdays

Trudging through this half a life

Really just subsisting

Knowing I’d be

Better off dead

Than merely just existing

(Originally Posted 22.02.2022)

0

Broken Promises

The fool and her heart

Were very soon parted

As he couldn’t finish

What he started

Unkept

You said

To me

You’d always

Be true

Yet it’s clear

That forever

Meant fuck all

To you

(Originally Posted 22.02.2021)

4

Now Made Of Stone

To think I was ever

This pathetic

Leaves me

Open mouthed

And aghast

It certainly took

Some toughening up

But at least now

That nonsense

Has passed

My Dark Heart

Although
my descent
into
madness

Has
torn
my soul
apart

Underneath
all of
this
sadness

I’m still
a romantic
at heart

(Originally Posted 22.02.2020)

2

Having My Way

I can try

To distract myself

Go to bed

And turn off the light

But I know full well

There’s no chance in hell

I won’t be calling him

Tonight

‘You Spin Me (Right Round)’

With
your
smile so
appealing

And
your
humility
endearing

I cannot
help
but get
feeling

You
won’t
be
home
alone

This
evening

(Originally Posted 21.02.2020)

4

Re-traumatisation Is Re-al

You can stop

Telling me

That it helps

To talk about

This shit

As you have

No notion

Of why

I’ve chosen

To keep

A lid on it

The Shrink

The
pain
is
buried
so
deep

She
said

I
don’t
think
it’ll
ever
re-surface

Then
we
should
leave
it
where
it is

He
said

Breaking
your
heart
(again)
isn’t
worth
it

(Originally Posted 21.02.2020)

0

The Smoking Shelter

It’s amazing

The people

You can meet

When you’re standing

Outside

On the street

They make you

Instantly

Lose control

As, with ease,

They stare

Into your soul

Cutting Through The Bullshit

I’m
not
really
crying

She
said

Honestly
things
are
fine

You
can’t
kid a
kidder

He
said

Now,
please,
come
back
to mine

(Originally Posted 20.02.2020)

2

Your Alloted Time Slot

You must start moving on

My friend

As it won’t be long

Until the end

And when you look back

You’ll rue the day

That you gave all

Of your time away

Overheard

All
you
do is
bitch
and
moan

And
I listen,
with
a sigh

For you
can’t
seem
to see
what
I do

That’s
your
life,
passing
you by

(Originally Posted 20.02.2020)

2

Writing The Book On Grief

Now it’s just over

Four years for me

And although

I’ve learned a lot

I still couldn’t claim

I know enough to explain

Or even to give it

A decent shot

Bereavement

Just
when
I think
I’ve got
no tears
left

They
fall
down
my
face
again

Why
the fuck
didn’t
someone
tell
me

How
to
prepare
for all
this
pain

(Originally Posted 19.02.2020)

0

All You Need To Know

I know I’d suggested

Greeting cards

But as I see the humour in this

Perhaps I’d be more suited

To writing less convoluted

Patient information leaflets

The Human Rattle

Take
these
pills

To
cure
your
ills

And
mend
your
broken
heart

They’ll
give
you
chills

And
delay
your
thrills

But at
least
it’ll
be a
start

(Originally Posted 18.02.2020)

2

Believing

How I remember

Feeling this way

That nothing again

Would be OK

But now I’ve got

Some feeling back

I see a glimmer of hope

Through the crack

Grieving

Are you
sure it’s
gone

He
said

What
about
love

Compassion?

Make
no
mistake

She
said

I’ve
lost
it all

Her
face,
as it was,
ashen

(Originally Posted 18.02.2020)

0

Premature

I know your heart’s

In the right place

And that deep down

You mean well

But your good intentions

Mean nothing

While I’m trapped

In this hell

Two Cents Worth

It will get better with time

They lied

Before my tears

Had even dried

(Originally Posted 18.02.2020)

4

Twelve Days And Counting…

As the end

Draws ever near

I have to say

I’m feeling the fear

What will I do

If I don’t write

What will I do

With all this spite?

Pens Down

Nothing lasts

Forever

You know

Not you

Not me

And certainly not my poetry

(Originally Posted 17.02.2021)

6

Undercurrent

This isn’t actually

Strictly true

It’s not like I’ve never

Had fun

It’s more that my weakness

For bleakness

Hasn’t ever quite been undone

‘Twilight’

I wish
I could
remember

The
good
old
days

But I
fear they
were just
a lie

For
I cannot
recall

Any
time in
my life

When
I didn’t
want
to die

(Originally Posted 17.02.2020)

6

See You After The Break

Thank God I have

Two weeks annual leave

So from your chatter

I’ll enjoy a reprieve

The Water Cooler

If only
I could
feign
interest

Perhaps
we could
be friends

But in
fact you
bore me
witless

So I
pray this
conversation
ends

(Originally Posted 17.02.2020)

2

“But I’m A Pacifist…”

I don’t even know

Why I write this shit

I don’t even like guns

Not one bit

If Only…

“Is that a gun in your pocket,

Or are you just pleased to see me?”

Bang.

(Originally Posted 17.02.2020)

0

Anti Bodies

Nothing says

I love you

More than a course

Of antibiotics

Or two

St Valentine’s Day Rebuke

It’s that
time of
year
again

When
love
is in
the air

But so is
Covid,
TB and flu

So please
take your
bullshit
elsewhere

(Originally Posted 17.02.2020)

0

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