It took me a while
To realise it
However, it seems,
I’m built for this shit
"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
It took me a while
To realise it
However, it seems,
I’m built for this shit
Lacking in motivation
Devoid of all desire
Wondering if salvation
Is in the funeral pyre
Some days
I feel ok
And how I present
Is true
But on other days
This deep malaise
Makes faking it
Too hard to do
I just couldn’t say
Sorry back then
Though I’m ready
To say it now
My only wish
Is that you weren’t
Such a bitch
Who will act
All holier-than-thou
Now that all
The talking’s done
And those strategies
Have been deployed
It is time to face
The reality
I’ve tried so hard
To avoid
Sometimes
I regret
What I said
And how often
I showed you
The door
As it never seemed
To matter
How your heart
Was shattered
You’d always
Come back
For more
What do you do
When times get tough
And the love you have
Just isn’t enough
When you can’t see a way
Through all this stuff
And you’re both now stranded
In the rough
Having realised that
When all’s said and done
There is no such thing
As a hole in one
With those beautiful eyes
And winning smile
It should be no surprise
We’ll be here a while
Tongue tied
Dead inside
Lying
On my bed of nails
Forever lonely
Seeing true love only
In films
And fairy tales
We don’t have
To decide tonight
We can talk
Again tomorrow
Let’s not allow
The dying light
To lead us both
Back into sorrow
Paranoia can be
Our best friend
As it often saves us
In the end
I wasn’t exactly
Born happy
Lacking, as I did,
In good cheer and mirth
And now all I can say
As I celebrate, today
Is that this shit’s only
Got worse
I saw you sit
At the platform today
And I cried as my train
Pulled away
I do have something
To offer you know
As I’m actually
Quite the catch
If you took my hand
You would understand
And there’s no way
You’d ever go back
Of course
It’s raining
Outside
Just now
Why the fuck
Wouldn’t it be?
Because
I’ve come out
Without a coat
And the joke
Is always
On me
So tell me exactly
What it is
That she doesn’t understand
How you justify
Your roving eye
And your wandering hand
And I’ll tell you exactly
What it is
That really grinds my gears
How you can sit there
Without a care
Whilst she’s at home in tears
Fuelled by wine
And impure thoughts
I smiled as nature
Took her course
You will never be forgiven
For what you took from me
Not just my only lover
But my whole identity
And even though you did it
A near whole five years ago
I am yet to fully recover
Or let my seething anger go
The lights go out
In the blink of an eye
And there’s nothing left
But to say goodbye
You think you get it
But you never could
Because at his bedside
You never stood
Absence doesn’t make
The heart grow fonder
We just start to yearn
For what’s over yonder
And so we’re presented
With a question to ponder
Exactly which opportunity
Should we squander?
Please
excuse my
awkwardness
I know
I look like
quite the
amateur
I’m just
not sure
of the
etiquette,
yet
Let alone
all of the
vernacular
You do not need
To put me first
And I would never ask you to
But it would be nice
If, once or twice,
You thought of someone
Other than you
We need support
When traumatised
Not to be attacked
Or demonised
Something we wish
That you’d realise
When losing them
Leaves us paralysed
The lighter’s scritch
Scratches the itch
Of yet another
Nicotine hit
So I flick the switch
And cross the stitch
On yet another day
I didn’t quit
Tell me
That you missed me
Even
Just a touch
Because I know
I found
By not
Hanging around
That I missed you
Very much
Time’s tide
Is unforgiving
Not for the dead
But upon the living
Why are you so depressing
He said
Why are your words so dark
Because my life is fucking distressing
She said
And so, therefore’s, my art
If you find my words too dreary
Then just scroll on, my dear
‘Cause if you are looking for cheery
There’s nothing for you here
I guess you’re all there
Outside together
Enjoying the food
And this change in weather
Swapping your stories
Of the week’s events
As you wait for the last
Course to commence
Well don’t mind me
As I sit here and smoke
Hoping for the day
When you all choke
And die
At your wedding toast
Yesterday
I did not cry one bit
Even when I glanced
Upon your first dance
I held it in
With an iron like grit
For what I wouldn’t do
Is ever tell you
How seeing you so happy
Did hurt
And that, at times,
If just in my mind
I did wish your happy day cursed
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