"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
I really am quite thankful
I no longer feel like this
Even though day to day
Things aren’t always okay
At least I’ve stopped thinking that shit
Shotgun
At
this
point
I’ll
try
anything
She
said
It
can’t
do any
harm
Then
you
should
take
this
one
He
said
It’ll
work
like a
charm
(Originally Posted 27.08.2020)
Don’t get me wrong
It’ll take much more
Than just a smile
For my heart to thaw
But until such time
It doesn’t mean
That we can’t have fun
In between
Your Smile
Even
though
my
heart
Resides
in the
deep
freeze
Your
smile
has the
power
To make
me weak
at the
knees
(Originally Posted 27.08.2019)
I’m not sure
If I meant this
In a playful way
Or not
Usually,
I would say I did
But back then
My humour
Was shot
Come Closer
I don’t bite.
Much.
(Originally Posted 27.08.2019)
‘In my imagination
There is no complication
I dream about you all the time…’
“It’s better to have loved and lost, surely, but try not to lose it all”
– William Hill
Are you sure?
Yes
Honestly?
No
Certainty
Do you want to?
Yes.
Will we?
No.
(Originally Posted 26.08.2020)
You can deny it
All you want
Claim that you
Would never stray
But if I was to check
What’s on your neck
The truth would be plain as day
Love Bites
You
wore
your
roll
neck
jumper
So
you
thought
I wouldn’t
see
But
believe
me,
I know
full
well
Those
marks
weren’t
left
by me
(Originally Posted 26.08.2020)
It’s always the little things
That you miss
Like never leaving the house
Without a kiss
Goodbye
Be careful
when you
dismiss me
As one day
I won’t
come
back
(Originally Posted 26.08.2019)
Mostly I write poems
About depression, death and heartache
Yet sometimes I write poems, it seems,
Just for writing’s sake
This was one of those poems
Even now it doesn’t make much sense
Though I had just watched Braveheart (again)
If that’s any kind of defence
Masterplan
The
candle
grows
dimmer
As my
patience
wears
thinner
Whilst
I wait
for the
steel
to bolt
My
temper
a simmer
As
you
think
you’re
the
winner
Yet I
plan my
peasants’
revolt
(Originally Posted 25.08.2020)
Remember when you told me
It was the best show you’d ever seen
That you watched in tears
As your worst fears
Played out on the TV screen
Well, it wasn’t just a show for me
It was exactly how I felt
I lived through those scenes
On the silver screen
And dealt with it all myself
See, you never really understood
You made that abundantly clear
You didn’t sympathise
Let alone empathise
With me at any point that year
So now when I recall you saying
How you cried so selflessly
I know for a fact
It was all just an act
As you lied so effortlessly
What I Should Have Said
Get to fuck
You piece of shit
I will not stand
For any more pish
You think you’re it
But it’s just a front
You’re nothing more
Than a self serving cunt
(Originally Posted 25.08.2020)
I must’ve overdosed on Disney
Or read too many fairy tales
For endings like this
Don’t actually exist
As true love always fails
Sleeping Beauty
I wish I could sleep forever
As silly as that seems
For then we’d be together
Happy, in my dreams
(Originally Posted 25.08.2021)
What the fuck is wrong with us
Said the spider to the fly
Why can’t we just stay in one spot?
To be honest I just follow you
Said the fly to the spider
As you’re the only friend I’ve got
Let’s Go Back
This was the wrong choice
Said the spider to the fly
I think we should return
I suppose you’re right
Said the fly to the spider
When will we ever fucking learn?
(Originally Posted 25.08.2019)
Let’s Go
Fuck this shit
Said the spider to the fly
I really cannot be arsed
I agree entirely
Said the fly to the spider
I’m done with this bloody farce
(Originally Posted 25.08.2019)
The covid pandemic
Was an awful time
We all lost blood,
Sweat and tears
But for some
The state sponsored
Avoidance of people
Was just a delight
To the ears
Hermitry
What if
I’m
enjoying
the new
normal
That
now I
finally
feel on
track
What
if I’d
like
to stay
this way
With
no
desire
to go
back
(Originally Posted 24.08.2020)
Then you asked
If I got it back
Never
I replied
That was the day
When it all
Went black
And I was forever
Left dead inside
Q&A
You ask
What
I left
Behind
Nothing
I answer
Just
My mind
(Originally Posted 24.08.2020)
And so they sat,
Together in time,
Talking until dawn.
Not just did they speak,
Of their lives past,
But also of those to come.
Past Lives
I think I remember you,
she said,
I think we’ve met before.
Perhaps it was when I was young,
she said,
and before my heart was sore.
I don’t remember meeting,
he said,
although I really can’t be sure.
Why don’t you sit down now,
he said,
and talk to me some more.
(Originally Posted 24.08.2019)
Just stop this negative talk
He said
I won’t hear any more of it
But those seeds have been sown
She said
Ever since I was a kid
Sham(e)
I got
bored of
this shit
a long
time ago
These
endless
tales of
sadness
and woe
Now with
eyes that
burn from
the tears
that flow
I loathe
myself
more than
you’ll
ever know
(Originally Posted 23.08.2019)
That being said
Given what happened in bed
One thing is certainly true
If I ever planned
To have a two night stand
It would most definitely be with you
In Beero Veritas
Who’d have thought
That we’d come to
Both half dead
And needing the loo
Perhaps we should
Have thought this through
Instead of getting drunk
And doing the do
(Originally Posted 23.08.2021)
Back then my head
Was in such a mess
I couldn’t even wish myself
A peaceful death
Out With A Bang
What is this
stabbing pain
in my chest?
Why is it
causing me
such unrest?
Fingers
crossed it’s
a heart attack
Then I
can leave
this place
And never
come back
(Originally Posted 23.08.2019)
Who am I trying to kid
She said
If anyone comes for me
It’ll be the evil queen
She said
With a poisoned apple or three
Kissing Frogs
I sit here on the sofa
All alone
With the hope of love
Completely gone
Yet I dare to dream
That perhaps one day
My prince will come
To kiss the pain away
(Originally Posted 23.08.2021)
I’ve always been indecisive
But now it’s worse than ever
The back and forth is so divisive
I’m about as reliable as the weather
Confusion
No!
No!
No!
Yes!
Yes!
Yes!
How am
I supposed
to decide
what to do
When my
head’s
in such
a mess?
(Originally Posted 22.08.2019)
He knew right then
As he watched
The tear fall from her eye
It was best to forget
And to just let
His feelings for her die
Silent Conversations
Not yet
but soon
she says,
as she makes her
way to the door
But when,
how soon
he asks
as he stares
at the floor
Not yet
but soon
she says,
as her head
is slowly bowed
But when,
how soon
he asks
will we
be allowed?
(Originally Posted 22.08.2019)
It’s been ages since I’ve seen you
She said
How are you doing my friend?
Oh, things are fine with me
She said
Not wishing to offend
Distraction
Maybe I could see a friend
Or give them a call instead
It must be better than wrestling
With these demons in my head
(Originally Posted 22.08.2021)
I have long wanted to end it all
But you were always so full of purpose
As most can attest
Fate is a fickle mistress
But did she really have to curse us?
Do You Hear Me?
I’m still angry
You see
That you died
Before me
It’s just not
The way
It was meant
To be
Xxx
(Originally Posted 21.08.2020)
There are other ways
To deal with pain
Instead of creating your own,
Again
Scissors
It’s time
to put you
back in
your box
To fasten
the lid
and change
the locks
I cannot
continue
down this
path
For if I
do there
is no way
back
(Originally Posted 21.08.2019)
I wouldn’t worry too much
He said
Not everything can be a hit
I’m still amazed that anything I write
She said
Doesn’t always turn out this shit
Old Hat
You’ve
been
on my
mind
today
More
than
any
other
time
If only
it had
inspired
something
epic
Rather
than this
fucking
awful
rhyme
(Originally Posted 21.08.2020)
Do you know what, fuck this shit
She said
I’ve had enough of being polite
I really think you’re it
She said
And not just for tonight
Unsaid
Wouldn’t
it save
all
this
fuss
and
bother
If we
were
just
honest
with
each
other?
(Originally Posted 20.08.2020)
There’s nothing more to add to this
As there’s nothing more to say.
This may have been written,
Three years ago,
But it remains the truth today.
Two Sides
I lie
in your bed
and I lie
to your face.
I am a
public fraud
and a private
disgrace.
(Originally Posted 20.09.2019)
I found her poems
In a cupboard at school
Back when I was young
I realised then
That I’d found a friend
And so to that book I’ve clung
https://poetryarchive.org/poet/stevie-smith/
Dear Stevie
If we
could
meet
We’d
drink
a brew
And
maybe
share
A
laugh
or two
Yet we
would
know
At the
end of
the day
What
connects
us both
Is
life’s
decay
(Originally Posted 20.08.2020)
“If you don’t have anything nice to say,
Then don’t say anything at all.”
So I didn’t.
Just An Empty Space
(Originally Posted 20.08.2019)
‘Late at night I can hear your voices
Talking shit about all my choices
You would think you’ve known me forever
Just because you know my name…’
“When a toxic person can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you. The misinformation will feel unfair but stay above it. Trust that other people will eventually see the truth – just like you did”
– Anon
You can work through your issues
Until they’re no longer discernable
But it’s important to remember
Not all the results are reversible
The Sting
If
I had
never
gone
down
this
path
It
wouldn’t
hurt
so
much
in the
bath
(Originally Posted 19.08.2020)
You don’t even remember
The time of year
Let alone the date
You’ve moved on
Even though he’s gone
While all I can do is wait
Left
I
missed
you
again
today
Everyone
else
had
gone
away
And
it was
just me
here
alone
Crying
for the
love
I had
once
known
(Originally Posted 19.08.2019)
I remember everything about you
Your cardigan, glasses and quiff
If you weren’t so much older
Maybe I’d have been bolder
And asked you out forthwith
Last Chance
Despite my
protests
to the
contrary,
it has
always
been you.
Why not
meet me
at the
library,
and I’ll make
your dreams
come true.
(Originally Posted 19.08.2019)
There are those cut out
For DIY
And those who simply are not
You were always one
Who may have had fun
But were never as good as you thought
Xxx
Precipice
Grab
onto
this
He
said
It’ll
be
okay
It’s
one
I made
myself
I’m
not so
sure
She
said
That
it’ll
be
safe
I’ve
seen
you
put
up a
shelf
(Originally Posted 18.08.2020)
The best thing that I ever did
Was my own fear to subdue
It may have took me a while
But nothing beats the smile
I now wear in spite of you
Soon
Life
has
been
so much
better
without
all your
bullshit
in it
Now
I know
for sure
that
I’ll soon
be removing
you
from
it
(Originally Posted 18.08.2019)
So many nights stood there with you
With so much forced conversation
When all I wanted to do
Was go home for a brew
And enjoy my hibernation
Let Me Go
Please
just
walk
away
from
me
And
take
yourself
off
home
I
do
not
want
to talk
to you
I
want
to be
alone
(Originally Posted 18.08.2020)
For someone who never married
He said
You write about it often enough
Perhaps I was wrong all those years
She said
His proposals to rebuff
The Disengagement Party
I saw you looking
Over dinner
Your smile discreet
Hers a winner
I realised there
Was something more
When she sashayed
To the dance floor
I knew it then
In revelatory style
It was obvious we’d never
Walk down the ailse
(Originally Posted 17.08.2020)
You should be given a manual
For when your loved one dies
Not just on how to cope with grief
But practical advice
There’s so many things you have to do
When you’re under all that pressure
It’s no wonder some things are forgotten
And then they’re lost, forever
I Should Have Done It Back Then
The last link
Has been ripped away
Our final tether
Is severed
And all I can hear
Is your voice
Telling me
That I really should’ve done better
Xxx
A bit niche, perhaps…
But if you know, you know
‘Always So Lost In The Dark…’
It’s 10.15 on a Friday night and excitement builds all around.
Saturday Waits as the promise of Spidermen and Caterpillars abound.
Like all those Japanese Babies who tumbled through the gate,
I Burn for tales of Cagey Tigers, and dream of Dogs that Shake.
Then I am reminded, as I Move To The Beat,
Why you Imaginary Boys look good enough to eat.
I’m So Glad I Came. To be here On A Night Like This.
If only it could End with Just One (Strawberry) Kiss.
Yet out to The Edge Of The Green Sea I’m cast,
Wondering if this Lost and Lonely feeling will last.
The Cure
Bellahouston Park
Glasgow
16.08.2019
(Originally Posted 16.08.2019)
Ultimately,
I can’t
come
back
For an
earthly
body,
I now
lack
But
regardless
of that,
you should
know
I’ll
always be
with you,
wherever
you go
Love Lost
If I
promise
to love
you
more
Than
I ever
did
before
Would
you
come
back
to me?
Xxx
(Originally Posted 16.08.2020)
‘The Drugs Don’t Work’
Sang the man from Wigan
Just as I’d turned seventeen
Back then it was fun
As real life hadn’t begun
But now I know what he means
Quieten Down(er)
I’ll
take
anything
you’ve
got to
give
Drink,
smoke,
or sedative
As the
voices
inside
my head
these
days
Are
far too
competitive
(Originally Posted 15.08.2020)
You may be surprised
To learn in fact
This one doesn’t refer
To a suicide pact
It is actually based
On my favourite date
When we took MDMA
And left the rest to fate
Eternity
Counting the days
Counting the hours
You bring the wine
I’ll bring the flowers
Counting the minutes
Counting the seconds
We’ll both take a pill
As eternity beckons
(Originally Posted 15.08.2019)
There were so many photos taken
Back in twenty nineteen
And I had to pose
All alone
With a gap where you should’ve been
Speechless
There is so much
I want to tell you
So many things
I want to share
But my tears flow
all over again
When I realise
you’re not there
(Originally Posted 15.08.2019)
Yet I didn’t slip away
Quietly
I remained
And caused a fuss
I got my head down
And stuck around
To tell the story
Of us
‘Slip Away, Quietly’
All
happiness
is fleeting
All
sadness
is depleting
I am
no longer
competing
As from
sanity
I am
retreating
(Originally Posted 14.08.2019)
If only I had a pound
For each session that started like this
I wouldn’t need a whip-round
For a better therapist
On The Couch
What’s worrying you today,
He asks.
Everything,
I reply.
(Originally Posted 14.08.2020)
I will never answer
To you again
As what you called banter
I call pain
Sylvia’s Sister
Maybe I’ll drink until I’m sick
Maybe I’ll dance like a prick
Maybe I’ll smoke ten to the dozen
Maybe I’ll put my head in the oven
Either way one thing is true
It has got fuck all to do with you
(Originally Posted 14.08.2020)
It was about
My job this one
And how I could
No longer empathise
Even three years on
The desire is gone
And my apathy
Pretty hard to disguise
New Life
I’m still
nowhere
near the
same
She
said
Something
inside me has
permanently
changed
I can no
longer
play
this game
She
said
Unless a
new life
can be
arranged
(Originally Posted 14.08.2019)
I must’ve overdone the happy pills
When I wrote this one
As I can’t believe
I’d ever conceive
Of something like this with none
Hard To Believe
When you find
It’s a struggle to cope
When it feels
Like you’ve lost all hope
Remember and try
To just hold on
For there will be
Better days to come
(Originally Posted 13.08.2021)
I really don’t mind saying
That I’m actually quite proud of this
As it describes that employee
To an absolute tee
Despite the sweetness she emits
The Bake Sale
Bringing
along
a
flask of
coffee
And
your
frosted
homemade
cake
Doesn’t
make you
any more
likeable
Or any
less
fucking
fake
(Originally Posted 13.08.2020)
Next time
I’ll buy my own
Tarnished
That
ring you
gave me
yesterday
Has
turned
my finger
green
A more
appropriate
metaphor
for our
relationship
I have
never seen
(Originally Posted 13.08.2019)
I wrote this one
While hanging on
For a reply to a particular text
As I had shown it
I thought I’d blown it
And wasn’t sure what was next
As it was
It was just a pause
As you wrote back in earnest
And so then I knew
I still had you
And that my effort was worth it
Reassured
The relief
is palpable
My anxiety
is pacified
Our normality
is restored
Thank fuck
you replied
(Originally Posted 13.08.2019)
‘I don’t know if you’ve seen her lately
But God, she’s looking rough…’
“I know that’s what people say – you’ll get over it. I’d say it too. But I know it’s not true. Oh, you’ll be happy again, never fear. But you won’t forget. Every time you fall in love it will be because something in the man reminds you of him.”
– Betty Smith
Perhaps I could find a story
He said
That proves all the stars align
I fear that for that one
She said
I’d wait a long fucking time
Story Books
Read
to me
some
more
She
said
I
swoon
to the
sound
of your
voice
Tell
me
what
you
want
to
hear
He
said
You
know
it’s
always
your
choice
(Originally Posted 12.08.2020)
It does not matter
That my heart’s shattered
And my self esteem is on the floor
I know you only call me
When you’re feeling horny
And yet I’ll always be back for more
Bad Habits
We
really
should
Give
this
thing
up
But
my
willpower
is
fading
If
we
could
stop
Just
hooking
up
Then this
wouldn’t
feel so
degrading
(Originally Posted 12.08.2020)
It’s not like I even
Fancy the guy
And I certainly
Don’t want to get hitched
But I’d be lying
If I tried denying
That sometimes
It would be nice to be picked
It Should Be Me
Looking
up
to
the
sky
Tears
falling
as
I
cry
Asking
over
and
over
why
Will
you
forever
pass
me
by
(Originally Posted 12.08.2019)
Stain free
Pain free
Neither really
Matter to me
As I’m still mad
And deeply sad
That this is how
It has to be
Only Sadness Remains
I wander barefoot
in the rain
Trying to wash
away your stain
Now that I’m left
in eternal pain
I’d give anything
to laugh again
(Originally Posted 12.08.2019)
Based on a true story this
From when I was about six or seven
I stole some sweets
So the owner called the police
In order to teach me a lesson
I have always felt
He was a little harsh
And his reaction was over the top
But I guess I learned then
Never to steal again
Well, at least not from his shop
Cops & Robbers
Caught with
my hands
in the
sweetie jar
I retreat,
shamefaced,
when I
hear a
police car…
Who the
fuck has
called
the cops?
I only
stole
a few
pear
drops…
(Originally Posted 11.08.2019)
Why don’t you come over
He said
And spend time with me today
Because I’m better off alone
She said
I’ve learned that the hard way
Power
I’ve walked
along
this road
before
Feeling
lonely
and
insecure
At least
this time
I know
for sure
You
cannot
hurt me
anymore
(Originally Posted 11.08.2019)
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 
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