Now Made Of Stone

To think I was ever

This pathetic

Leaves me

Open mouthed

And aghast

It certainly took

Some toughening up

But at least now

That nonsense

Has passed

My Dark Heart

Although
my descent
into
madness

Has
torn
my soul
apart

Underneath
all of
this
sadness

I’m still
a romantic
at heart

(Originally Posted 22.02.2020)

2

Having My Way

I can try

To distract myself

Go to bed

And turn off the light

But I know full well

There’s no chance in hell

I won’t be calling him

Tonight

‘You Spin Me (Right Round)’

With
your
smile so
appealing

And
your
humility
endearing

I cannot
help
but get
feeling

You
won’t
be
home
alone

This
evening

(Originally Posted 21.02.2020)

4

Re-traumatisation Is Re-al

You can stop

Telling me

That it helps

To talk about

This shit

As you have

No notion

Of why

I’ve chosen

To keep

A lid on it

The Shrink

The
pain
is
buried
so
deep

She
said

I
don’t
think
it’ll
ever
re-surface

Then
we
should
leave
it
where
it is

He
said

Breaking
your
heart
(again)
isn’t
worth
it

(Originally Posted 21.02.2020)

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The Smoking Shelter

It’s amazing

The people

You can meet

When you’re standing

Outside

On the street

They make you

Instantly

Lose control

As, with ease,

They stare

Into your soul

Cutting Through The Bullshit

I’m
not
really
crying

She
said

Honestly
things
are
fine

You
can’t
kid a
kidder

He
said

Now,
please,
come
back
to mine

(Originally Posted 20.02.2020)

2

Your Alloted Time Slot

You must start moving on

My friend

As it won’t be long

Until the end

And when you look back

You’ll rue the day

That you gave all

Of your time away

Overheard

All
you
do is
bitch
and
moan

And
I listen,
with
a sigh

For you
can’t
seem
to see
what
I do

That’s
your
life,
passing
you by

(Originally Posted 20.02.2020)

2

Writing The Book On Grief

Now it’s just over

Four years for me

And although

I’ve learned a lot

I still couldn’t claim

I know enough to explain

Or even to give it

A decent shot

Bereavement

Just
when
I think
I’ve got
no tears
left

They
fall
down
my
face
again

Why
the fuck
didn’t
someone
tell
me

How
to
prepare
for all
this
pain

(Originally Posted 19.02.2020)

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All You Need To Know

I know I’d suggested

Greeting cards

But as I see the humour in this

Perhaps I’d be more suited

To writing less convoluted

Patient information leaflets

The Human Rattle

Take
these
pills

To
cure
your
ills

And
mend
your
broken
heart

They’ll
give
you
chills

And
delay
your
thrills

But at
least
it’ll
be a
start

(Originally Posted 18.02.2020)

2

Believing

How I remember

Feeling this way

That nothing again

Would be OK

But now I’ve got

Some feeling back

I see a glimmer of hope

Through the crack

Grieving

Are you
sure it’s
gone

He
said

What
about
love

Compassion?

Make
no
mistake

She
said

I’ve
lost
it all

Her
face,
as it was,
ashen

(Originally Posted 18.02.2020)

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Premature

I know your heart’s

In the right place

And that deep down

You mean well

But your good intentions

Mean nothing

While I’m trapped

In this hell

Two Cents Worth

It will get better with time

They lied

Before my tears

Had even dried

(Originally Posted 18.02.2020)

4

Twelve Days And Counting…

As the end

Draws ever near

I have to say

I’m feeling the fear

What will I do

If I don’t write

What will I do

With all this spite?

Pens Down

Nothing lasts

Forever

You know

Not you

Not me

And certainly not my poetry

(Originally Posted 17.02.2021)

6

Undercurrent

This isn’t actually

Strictly true

It’s not like I’ve never

Had fun

It’s more that my weakness

For bleakness

Hasn’t ever quite been undone

‘Twilight’

I wish
I could
remember

The
good
old
days

But I
fear they
were just
a lie

For
I cannot
recall

Any
time in
my life

When
I didn’t
want
to die

(Originally Posted 17.02.2020)

6

See You After The Break

Thank God I have

Two weeks annual leave

So from your chatter

I’ll enjoy a reprieve

The Water Cooler

If only
I could
feign
interest

Perhaps
we could
be friends

But in
fact you
bore me
witless

So I
pray this
conversation
ends

(Originally Posted 17.02.2020)

2

“But I’m A Pacifist…”

I don’t even know

Why I write this shit

I don’t even like guns

Not one bit

If Only…

“Is that a gun in your pocket,

Or are you just pleased to see me?”

Bang.

(Originally Posted 17.02.2020)

0

Anti Bodies

Nothing says

I love you

More than a course

Of antibiotics

Or two

St Valentine’s Day Rebuke

It’s that
time of
year
again

When
love
is in
the air

But so is
Covid,
TB and flu

So please
take your
bullshit
elsewhere

(Originally Posted 17.02.2020)

0

Daybreak

I felt that way

For a really long time

After you rounded on me

That night

But now I’ve moved on

And boy I’ve grown

So I’m stepping back

Into the light

Nyctophilia

I’m
better
alone
than in
company

Just
like I’m
happier
in the
dark

That
way
I never
have to
see anyone

Or
hear
another
disparaging
remark

(Originally Posted 16.02.2020)

2

You Deserve Each Other

She has long been

The target

For all of my insults

And slurs

But your fakery

Fucking disgusts me

Almost as much

As hers

Celebrity Suicide Breeds Public Dishonesty

So you can
empathise
with her

Someone
you only
saw on TV?

But when
my shit hit
the fan

You couldn’t
sympathise
with me?

Well fuck your
social media
petition

And your
boycott of
that rag

Why not look
a little closer
to home?

You
disingenuous
old hag

(Originally Posted 16.02.2020)

4

Kismet

I took the fact

He listened

As you sending me

A sign

So wherever you are

I hope you know

Your best friend

Is now mine

Xxx

The Soirée

It
was
exactly

One
year
ago

That
we all
sat in
that
tent

But
there
was
only
one

Who
truly
heard

My
broken
hearted
lament

From
that
day

We’ve
kept
in touch

Forging a
connection
of our
own

And
that’s
because

You
chose
us

To
reap
what
you
had
sown

(Originally Posted 16.02.2020)

2

Safekeeping

I’m not sure

What I was protecting here

My mind, body or soul

Either way, it seems,

I’d go to extremes

To keep whatever makes me whole

Access Denied

What I have

Is not for you

It is mine and mine alone

If you want

What I have got

Fuck off and find your own

(Originally Posted 15.02.2022)

2

All Year Round

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I know Valentine’s

Was yesterday

But I still fucking hate you

No Love Lost

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I may very well

Have been a cunt

But so, my dear, have you

(Originally Posted 15.02.2021)

0

Telling It As I See It

It’s not that I’m inconsiderate

Or incapable of being kind

But when I’m surrounded by idiots

I just have to speak my mind

Never A Truer Word (Unspoken)

“If you haven’t got anything nice to say,

Don’t say anything at all.”

*Silence*

(Originally Posted 15.02.2020)

4

Joyeux Anniversaire

It’s taken me by surprise

This year

As I thought I’d be OK

Yet I feel utterly desolate

Lying here

Washing my tears away

Xxx

What Should Have Been

Twenty two years

Just me and you

Sitting on the sofa

With wine and food

But it’s not to be

As you’re three years gone

So any romance today

Just feels wrong

Xxx

(Originally Posted 14.02.2022)

2

Every Rose Has It’s Thorns

There is a tendency

When your partner dies

If thinking back

To romanticise

Every little thing

They ever did or said

To remember nothing wrong

In the years you were wed

But as time rolls by you realise

This wasn’t always the case

And putting them on that pedestal

Is just your grief misplaced

It doesn’t mean you didn’t love them

Or that their death isn’t terrible

But to acknowledge their flaws

Is important because

It makes your life slightly

More bearable

Xxx

Wasted Time

If I regret anything now

It’s all the arguments we had

The silent treatment I gave you

The things I did to make you mad

Now you’re no longer here

I can’t put those wrong things right

And I have no choice but to live with that

For the rest of my fucking life

Xxx

(Originally Posted 14.02.2020)

8

Trust Me

Hold your partner

Close today

Show them your love

In every way

Because when all this

Is said and done

You’ll fucking miss them

When they’re gone

Xxx

‘Wishing I Was Lucky’

Forever
destined
to be
cold
and
lonely

As
I have
lost
my
one
and
only

Xxx

(Originally Posted 14.02.2020)

2

Spoon Fed

When you only have a little

A little can mean a lot

So even living off a trickle

Feels like winning the jackpot 

Hostages

I
can’t
let
go

You’re
all
I’ve
got

(Originally Posted 13.02.2020)

2

Boy Toys

I have so much to offer

He said

As well as this body of mine

I don’t need anything else

She said

So just the sex is fine

Whirlpools

When
I look
deep

Into
your
eyes

I must
admit

I’m
pleasantly
surprised

As
I actually
feel

Something
down
below

Which
I thought
I’d lost

Years
ago

(Originally Posted 13.02.2020)

2

In Perpetuity

Just keep taking the pills

He said

And they’ll eventually quieten
the voices

I suppose I can persevere

She said

Through a lack of any
other choices

‘It’s Nice To Be A Lunatic…’

Am I over
tired

Or am I just
plain sad

Am I far
too wired

Or simply
going mad

Does it
really matter

For I think
we can deduct

That as I can’t
stop this chatter

Either way,
I’m fucked

(Originally Posted 13.02.2020)

1

A Braver Man Than Me

At least when it all

Happened to me

I had what I’d call

The luxury

Of only having myself

To pull through this shit

And not have any kids

To help cope with it

Inconceivable

Mind
racing

Legs
pacing

Sheer
disbelief

At what
you’re
facing

(Originally Posted 12.02.2020)

0

One Or The Other

The urge to bow out

With a bang

Has been never fucking ending

So let’s wait and see

Whether, tomorrow, said spree

Will be a killing or spending

The Spree

I’m
leaving
first
thing
in the
morning

And I’m
unsure
if I’ll
return

For I
have
so
many
scores
to settle

And a
shitload
of bridges
to burn

(Originally Posted 11.02.2020)

0

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