"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
They’re not always
About you, you know
These thoughts
Inside my head
Sometimes
I’m more than capable
Of putting myself first
Instead
As If
What’s
that
I
hear
you
say
Don’t
stand
at your
grave
and
weep
I
wouldn’t
piss
on it
If it
was on
fire
You
fucking
egotistical
creep
(Originally Posted 27.07.2020)
There were quite a few before him
As I tried each one for size
But if there’s no more after him
Then I wouldn’t be surprised
Like Lightning
I remember
When
I thought
it was
you
And I
made my
feelings
plain
But
then
I met
him
And
within
seconds
I knew
I’d never
think
about
you
Again
(Originally Posted 26.07.2020)
I really wasn’t well, was I?
Looking back at this
It’s just silo strange, because I
Didn’t realise anything was amiss
The Drudgery
Another
day spent
trudging
through
the
sludge
of life
still
refusing
to budge
forever
trying to
avoid the
judgement
of those
who secretly
hold a
grudge
against me
(Originally Posted 25.07.2019)
This probably would
Have been more apt
For those record temperatures
On Monday last
Whereas here today
The weather is cooler
As as such I feel
In a far better humour
No Air
It’s
too
hot to
think
as
I sit
here
on the
brink
of yet
another
nervous
breakdown…
(Originally Posted 25.07.2019)
I have searched
High and low
Over sea
And underground
So please believe me
When I say
There’s still nary a fuck
To be found
Pretty Sure
I’ll look again,
if you like,
but I’m pretty
sure there’s none.
Fun, happiness,
joy, laughter,
I’m pretty sure
they’ve gone.
(Originally Posted 25.07.2019)
I’m not sure if I’m a masochist
Or just fittingly sentimental
But ever since that day
I haven’t put it away
Which surely can’t be coincidental
The Back of the Wardrobe
I foolishly
made a
mistake
today
I opened
the box
I’d hidden
away
Where the
memories of
our lives
are kept
Along with
all the
tears I’ve
wept
(Originally Posted 25.07.2019)
Things were so hard
For me back then
Every day
My outlook was bleak
And though the worst has passed
I still feel downcast
For at least
One day each week
Not Today
No-one can shield me,
from this pain within.
Nothing can soothe me,
now the rot has set in.
(Originally Posted 24.07.2019)
Some have come and gone
Over the years
But I thank each and every one
Who helped dry my tears
Connections
It’s easier to connect with other writers these days, than it is to any of my friends.
It’s because we understand how shit things are, I think, when the madness descends.
(Originally Posted 24.07.2019)
You said you’d had enough
Back then
That you’d heard it all before
But I always knew
With these words I spew
You’d keep coming back for more
With A Wink
You
really
are
He
said
Without
doubt
The
most
depressing
woman
I’ve
met
Really
She
said
That
is a
shame
As
you
ain’t
seen
nothing
yet
(Originally Posted 23.07.2020)
I guess that’s why folks use Bumble
Grindr, Tinder and Hinge
Virtually searching for a fumble
For digital bodies on which to binge
Blindfolded
They
say
there’s
someone
for
everyone
But
how
can
that
possibly
be?
I’m
surprised
anyone
can
find
anyone
Trapped
in
this
insanity
(Originally Posted 23.07.2020)
It was always a promise
And never a threat
I just haven’t decided
How I’ll do it, yet
Crying Wolf
Remember when I told you
I wished that I was dead
And you thought it was all
Just nonsense in my head
Well maybe now you’ll realise
You will finally get to see
The worst thing that you ever did
Was not to believe me
(Originally Posted 23.07.2021)
‘But it only takes one tree
To make a thousand matches
Only takes one match
To burn a thousand trees’
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television. Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suit on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourselves. Choose your future.
Choose life.
– Renton
I don’t just bitch and whine
She said
I can also be quite nice
That’s why you’re a friend of mine
He said
For both the sugar and the spice
Please Don’t Go
If
I can’t
speak
to you
anymore
Then
who
else is
going to
listen?
There’s
not
many
that
could
tolerate
My
incessant
whining
and
bitching
(Originally Posted 22.07.2020)
If I thought you were capable
Of genuine emotion
Then of course
I would offer to help
But as it is
It’s just crocodile tears
So you can go fuck yourself
Water Off A Duck’s Back
If
you
weep
a little
louder
They
might
hear
you
at the
back
Just
don’t
expect
that
I’ll
listen
As
on me
your
tears
fall
flat
(Originally Posted 22.07.2020)
Out with the old
And in with the new
Time for me to find
Someone better than you
Rose Tinted Glasses
Sometimes a
wander down
memory lane
is no bad
thing
So long
as you can
remember
your way
back
(Originally Posted 22.07.2019)
Perhaps it’s because I’m boring
Or maybe it’s just that I’m mad
But whatever I project
I’m easy to reject
Hence why my social life is so bad
Detached
It
matters
not
If
I go
out
Or if
I stay
at home
As
either
way
Suffice
it to
say
I will
always
end up
alone
(Originally Posted 21.07.2020)
I don’t know why I think
You’d be the same as me
If you were taken to the brink
Of complete insanity
Because you would never feel that way
You are not the same as me
You are far too fucking selfish
And devoid of empathy
The Switch
Why
don’t
you
Swap
places
with me
Sink
to the
depths
That
I have
been
For
if you
were to
suffer
The
way
I do
Perhaps
you
would
feel
The
same
way
too
(Originally Posted 21.07.2020)
I couldn’t have put it
Any more sincerely
As this is me
All over really
The Knight
You come charging in
On your white horse
Thinking you’ll save the world,
Of course
But you’ve nothing to offer
Under all that armour
You don’t fool me,
You little charmer
(Originally Posted 21.07.2019)
Misery loves company
Isn’t that what they say?
Well you and I know
We feel that with gusto
So neither of us
Will be walking way
Bonding
Admit it.
You hate this as much as I do.
It’s what keeps us together.
(Originally Posted 20.07.2019)
I’m not quite sure
If this needs any more
As my request is perfectly clear
Sometimes my implication
Requires no explanation
Just as is the case here
Submission
Ah well
What the heck
Put your hand
Around my neck
And squeeze
(Originally Posted 20.07.2020)
I looked you up
On Facebook
And see you all
Still play that game
Hiding behind
Fake smiles and lies
The pretence
Still the same
Now you’ve heard me say
I walked away
And I’m infinitely glad
I did
As if I had to pose
In any more those photos
I fear by now
I’d have flipped my lid
Picture Perfect
Continue to enjoy
Your sweet little lives
And act as you see fit
I’m just relieved
I no longer suffer
The toxicity that lies
Beneath it
(Originally Posted 20.07.20)
Starting again
With eyes wide shut
More of a chance
I’ll avoid the glut
Different This Time
Starting again
With eyes wide open
Less of a chance
Hearts will be broken
(Originally Posted 19.07.2021)
This was just one route
That I’d considered
Amongst the many others
I had planned
I’d completely lost the plot
I think
In a way not many
Would understand
It seems that I
Had turned that choice
Into some kind of
Romantic notion
Which, it seems
For a while at least
Is how I coped
With my emotions
It took me some time
To best those thoughts
And to comprehend
The brutality of falling
But that’s not to say
They truly went away
And all I’m doing now, really
Is stalling
Look Out!
Falling
Tumbling
Through the air
Wondering
What it’s like
Down there
People standing
Faces aghast
Yet I don’t care
As I breathe my last
(Originally Posted 19.07.2020)
I often wonder
Reading back
Just who these people are
As their conversations
And confrontations
Make up some of my best work by far
Help Me
I never used to be like this
She said
I actually used to be brave
What was it that happened to you
He asked
So much so that you would cave
The world happened
She replied
But you wouldn’t understand
Why don’t you try me
He implored
As he reached for her hand
(Originally Posted 19.07.2019)
Who do I think I’m kidding
She said
There’s no way that I could help you
You’d better off going it alone
She said
There’s more chance you’ll make it though
Ter(rain)
I’ll
take
your
hand
If
you
are
frightened
I’ll
hold
you
hair
If
you
feel
sick
I’ll
even
lead
you
To
the
path
of
enlightenment
If
you’re
really
fucking
quick
(Originally Posted 18.07.2020)
It’s like reading
Someone else’s words
Lines
From a different story
But the heartache and pain
Mine they’ll always remain
So for those, I will take the glory
Poems From Another Time
It’s like reading
Someone else’s words
Listening
To someone else’s story
But the heartache
And the pain
That’s still all mine
(Originally Posted 18.07.2021)
Some people
Are built to sleep
Of that
I’m pretty much certain
But for those like me
With anxiety
Insomnia
Is just another burden
Just Because I’m Yawning, Doesn’t Mean I’m Tired
The restlessness
has started
Yet sleep refuses
to advance
Body and soul
have departed
While I’m being led
a merry dance
(Originally Posted 18.07.2019)
They tell you that
It’s time that heals
But time moves
So fucking slowly
In fact all time does do
Is exacerbate the issue
When you’re this heartbroken
And lonely
When Will It End?
Biting my nails
until they bleed,
doesn’t give me
the relief I need.
Scratching my skin
until it’s breaking,
doesn’t stop my
heart from aching.
When will it end,
this pain I’m feeling?
When does it stop,
when do I start healing?
(Originally Posted 17.07.2019)
So I’m back
home now,
after that
shit show
Only two
more days
of pretending
to go
Then it’s
the weekend,
so I’ll be free
to lament
And avoid
all people,
to my hearts
content
Wednesday 2.30am (Pt 1)
I can’t even
bear the thought
of what’s to
come tomorrow
No doubt
it’ll just be
more misery
and sorrow
Perhaps I’d
be better
off staying
in bed
Then I might
just escape
the thoughts
in my head
(Originally Posted 17.07.2019)
Wednesday 11am (Pt 2)
So I managed,
in the end,
to get out of bed
And it’s been
shit so far,
just as I predicted
It seems I was right,
I should never
have tried
For I’ll never
escape this
pain inside
(Originally Posted 17.07.2019)
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 
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