Fatal Errors

I don’t see

Too much damage

He said

You could get

Yourself on track

From all the shit

I’ve done

She said

There is

No coming back

0

Filling The Void

In an

Attempt

To convince

Herself

That it really

Was ok

She sat down

With the required

Amount

To eat

Her feelings

Away

2

Manic Panic

I know

You’ll think

I’m stupid

And say

I’m off 

My head

But the seeds

Of doubt

Have rooted

And now

I’m filled

With dread

6

Like A Bad Penny

Maybe

I should move

She said

Start again

Somewhere new

It doesn’t matter

Where you go

He said

The guilt

Will follow you

8

I Miss That More Than Anything

I remember

Driving to see you

In the middle

Of the night

I didn’t want

To talk

I just needed

To feel your might

Because I knew

When you kissed me

You’d wrap your arms

Around me tight

And that you

Would be the one

To make everything

Alright

Xxx

4

The Dilemma

As I sit here

In the dark

All alone again

I wonder

If it’s worth it

Living a life

So plain

It would

Perhaps

Be different

If I thought

That anyone

Cared

But an opinion

On my existence

Not a soul

Has aired

So it is back

To my

Conundrum

Do I stay

Or do I go?

Waste away

Amidst

This humdrum

Or just end it now,

You know?

19

Just My Lot In Life

I suppose

I’ve never

Really cared

For people,

Places,

Or things

But just dealt

With the

Endless

Melancholy

That abject

Depression

Brings

6

The Race Against Time

We should plan a trip

He said

Pick a place

Somewhere unique

Perhaps in different

Surroundings

We’d get a better

Chance to speak

I’m not really sure

She said

With my future

Looking so bleak

That I will even make

Tomorrow

Let alone

Next week

0

Lost And Found

There’s no need to worry

She said

I’m not quite on the brink

I just needed peace and quiet

So I came up here to think

Well, that is good to hear

He said

As I was getting quite concerned

And when I saw you leaning over

I have to say my stomach churned

I can see how it looked

She said

But you’ll be reassured to know

I didn’t have any real intention

Of actually letting go

Then, if that’s really true

He said

Let’s both just walk back down

I think I’d be far happier

To see you on solid ground

2

“It Is What It Is”

I hope you don’t mind me asking

He said

But do you think of me

At all?

I’ll remember that night forever

She said

But the rest

I can’t recall

2

Digging My Own Hole

After all

The effort

I put in

You’d think

I’d learn

To enjoy it

But I know

Before long

I’ll start

To feel wronged

And then

I’ll just fucking

Destroy it

2

Overthinking Again

I don’t think I can cope

She said

With all this worry

And stress

My heart

Just won’t stop pounding

And my head’s

A fucking mess

Maybe I’ll just end it

She said

That could be

For the best

As within

The peace and quiet

I might finally

Get some rest

4

Etched

Give me a pen
And I will trace 
The exact outline
Of his face
Without 
Even
Looking

4

The Breakthrough

Reflecting on

Our last

Little

Tête-à-tête

I feel like

I’ve won,

Finally

As this time 

I cared

Far less

About you

Than you

Have ever

Cared about me

2

A Swinging Brick

As I sit here

Alone again

Staring

At the wall

I know it’s not

That I don’t

Feel love

It’s that I

Don’t feel

At all

7

Bait And Switch

I didn’t believe in love

She said

Until my head

Was turned

Then I realised

How right I was

When I got

My fingers burned

4

Motormouth

I am always here

He said

If you ever want

To talk

We could sit

And have a coffee

He said

Or go out

For a walk

Thank you

For the offer

She said

But I’d really

Rather not

If I start taking now

She said

I don’t think

I’d ever stop

0

A Fair Fight

I’m glad

You’re feeling better

And that

You’re doing well

As maybe now

I’ll have the pleasure

Of meeting you

In hell

4

Ghosted

Knowing

We’ll never

Meet again

Isn’t even

The worst

It’s more the fact

You never called back

That really

Fucking hurts

2

Wish Me Luck

My bags are packed

I’m ready to go

Now all I need

Is for you to show

Me where I can get

One for the road

0

Aviemore

As we have found

Where your body has lain

We hope it heals

Your family’s pain

And though they’ll struggle

To see past the rain

Now you can be

Together again

0

I Know Your Game

Watching you

From afar

I can see

Just why you’re hated

Parading around

As the victim

In a situation

You fucking created

0

Back In Business

I often think

Of that night

And how events

Proceeded

Because being seduced

Was the confidence boost

That I so sorely

I needed

0

Snakes & Ladders

I don’t think

You appreciate

How hard it is

To stay on track

When the only steps

Available

Are two forward

And three back

4

The Rough Vs The Smooth

I’ve often wondered

Over the years

If I had never met

The barbarian

What my life

Would have been like

Had I slept

With the librarian

(Inspired by a writing prompt offered by Michael at https://afterwards.blog)

High School English Teachers 

I remember everything about you

Your cardigan, glasses and quiff

If you weren’t so much older

Maybe I’d have been bolder

And asked you out forthwith

(Originally Posted 19.08.2022)

Last Chance 

Despite my protests

to the contrary,

it has always

been you.

Why not 

meet me

at the library,

and I’ll make

your dreams

come true.

(Originally Posted 19.08.2019)

4

Flimsy

It never ceases to amaze me

How quickly the tears can flow

At some moment of nostalgia

Or sentimental TV show

I guess it’s just indicative

Of how most days I can deal

But just beneath the surface

Lurks a trauma yet to heal

2

Is It Really The Kindest Thing?

The worst is when

All hope is gone

And you know that they

Can’t carry on

When the end is coming

At them hard

And all that’s left

Is wounds and scars

That’s when you wish

They could call it a day

Instead of just watching

Them waste away

4

“I Was Sorry To Hear About Your Dad…”

I remembered what

It was like today

Back when that pain

Gnawed away

When his death broke me

To the sum of my parts

And my mental health

Was off the charts

And although with her

I did empathise

I couldn’t be false

Or tell her lies

So I whispered the truth

As I’ve come to accept it

Although time does heal

It can never correct it

0

Pot Luck

Feel free

To take it all

She said

The Valium,

Zoloft and Prozac

They never really

Worked for me

So it’s not like

I’ll need them back

0

I’ve Met Your Sort Before

I’ll sleep with you

When I’m good and ready

So don’t come around here

All hot and heavy

Thinking your patter

Will trick me to bed

You see all that talk

I’ve heard before

And believe you me

I know the score

So never again

Can I be misled

2

Under Pressure

I need time

To think it through

She said

It’s not that cut

And dried

Well you need

To hurry up

He said

As time’s not on

Our side

4

The Wisdom Of Age

The older I get

She said

I’ve realised

That the timing

Will never be right

You’ve just got to go for it

She said

And to not

Be so uptight

4

The Power Of Walking Away

I am honestly

Not interested

In whatever

You’ve got to say

It’s not like

It’ll make a difference

To how I feel

Anyway

For I have

Already decided

This relationship

Has died a death

So you may as well

Just leave me alone

And save

Your fucking breath

4

It’s Been A Long Week

I’ll go out with you

Again tonight

But don’t expect

I’ll be too much fun

I mean, I’ll be okay

But will slip away

When my social battery

Is done

2

Bored To Tears

There was a time

I’d humour you

But that has long

Since passed

It’s not like I ever

Wanted to know

That’s why I

Never asked

0

At Daggers Drawn

As another sun sets

On our argument

My stomach

Is still in bits 

Because of all the things

We could’ve been 

I never thought

That we’d be this

0

The Heat Of The Moment

I never said 

You weren’t thoughtful

Not conscientious or kind 

It’s just that when I said 

I wish you were dead 

I had other things

On my mind 

3

“That Plastering Needs Done”

If I was a little more forward

And not just so uptight

Then I’d stop being so awkward

And sleep with you tonight

But as it is I’m a coward

With no confidence at all

So the only thing I’ll see tonight

Are the cracks in my bedroom wall

0

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