Tag: alone

The Dilemma

As I sit here

In the dark

All alone again

I wonder

If it’s worth it

Living a life

So plain

It would

Perhaps

Be different

If I thought

That anyone

Cared

But an opinion

On my existence

Not a soul

Has aired

So it is back

To my

Conundrum

Do I stay

Or do I go?

Waste away

Amidst

This humdrum

Or just end it now,

You know?

19

Worth A Try

I’ll get up to eat

Some food today

As opposed to staying

In bed

Maybe then I’ll find

Ways to busy my mind

Instead of laying there

Like I’m dead

3

Silence

It’s funny to see

How a younger me

Struggled with her

Own company

Yet now I love

To live that way

On New Year’s Eve

Or any other day

For Whom The Bell Tolls

I’m not ashamed
to admit

I shed a tear or
two last night

As the clock
struck twelve

It was all
a bit shit

Sitting here
by myself

(Originally Posted 01.01.2020)

2

“I’ll Just Get The Bus”

It is all

Well and good

Spending time

With old friends

Yet it’s always me

Who leaves emptily

When the night

Inevitably ends

Catching Up

It
was
so
good
to see
you

But
now
I’m
glad
you’ve
gone

You
remind
me too
much of
my life
before

And
what
has
since
gone
wrong

(Originally Posted 21.11.2019)

2

So Close

As there was no one to pull me

Back in from the ledge

It is here I remain

Drunk and in pain

Standing perilously close to the edge

A Little More

As I fall
apart
a little
more
each day

I wonder
if I’ll
always
feel
this way

How
much
lower
can I
sink?

Who will
pull me
back
from the
brink?

(Originally Posted 13.10.2019)

4

Constant Reminders

I’ve actually done

Pretty well to be fair

Staying on here

With all this pain to bear

I guess I have found ways

To make it my own

But this place will never not be

Our forever home

Haunted

Death
peers in
through
the gloom

As I
lie here
alone in
this room

Upon
this bed
we once
shared

Crying for
the love
we once
declared

(Originally Posted 06.10.2019)

2

‘Nothing Else To Give’

I booked the day off work today

As I knew I’d want to be alone

I wouldn’t want to see anyone

Or even speak on the phone

It’s not that I’m ungrateful

Or I don’t appreciate the intent

But people just don’t realise

That, emotionally, I’m spent

Rest In Peace

Someone
sent me
flowers
today

And for
their
kindness
I was
thankful

But
I still
chucked
them
in the
bin

For of
condolences
I’ve had
a tankful

(Originally Posted 08.09.2020)

2

Good For You

You don’t even remember

The time of year

Let alone the date

You’ve moved on

Even though he’s gone

While all I can do is wait

Left

I
missed
you
again
today

Everyone
else
had
gone
away

And
it was
just me
here
alone

Crying
for the
love
I had
once
known

(Originally Posted 19.08.2019)

2

Better Off Alone

Why don’t you come over

He said

And spend time with me today

Because I’m better off alone

She said

I’ve learned that the hard way

Power

I’ve walked
along
this road
before

Feeling
lonely
and
insecure

At least
this time
I know
for sure

You
cannot
hurt me
anymore

(Originally Posted 11.08.2019)

2

Is This It?

I really hadn’t

Given much thought

To how hard

Life would be

Alone

The constant struggle

In this suffocating bubble

And all so far away

From home

A Tale Of Two Cities

I really don’t want to leave

But I know that I can’t stay

Though I’ll be alone

Wherever I go

So I’m screwed either way

(Originally Posted 05.07.2019)

4

Same Shit Different Day

I travelled a lot that spring

Most of it in a daze

Birthdays, weddings and weekends away

All came and went in a haze

Yet I found consequently

Whatever good time I was shown

I would feel subsequently

That I was very much alone

1000 Miles

The message from the search engine pings.

Its spies inform me that last month I visited:

Three different countries,
Fifteen different cities,
And twenty one different places.

That means I travelled over 1000 miles, last month.

Each one without you.

And every one with an empty heart.

(Originally Posted 03.06.2019)

10

There’s No Fun In Funeral

Crying in the chapel

Many years ago

Missing you intently

And wishing it wasn’t so

Granite

I wish
you were
with me

Gently
squeezing
my hand

Providing
me with
comfort

Helping me
understand

(Originally Posted 28.05.2020)

4

Keep Away

Please don’t misunderstand me

I didn’t mean this physically

It was far more metaphorically

That I didn’t want you near me

Distance

The closer
you get,
I wish
you were
further away.

(Originally Posted 05.05.2019)

10

You Hypocrite

Look out for each other

That’s what you said

Be considerate and kind

Well you never did

When you left me for dead

Whilst I slowly lost my mind

11

High Winds

If all the roads are closed tonight

Then how will I get home

I’m much too scared

And emotionally impaired

To go a night out here alone

12

El Paradiso

You find me here alone
Broken and desolate

With nothing to call my own
Except for beer and regret

5

Random #145

“I felt my lungs inflate with the onrush of scenery – air, mountains, trees, people. I thought: “This is what it is to be happy.”

― Sylvia Plath

6

Seething

I’ve always been alone

So this will make no difference

I shall keep my counsel my own

And wallow in my belligerence

9

The Plea That Went Unheard

They do not like me Jesus

He said

What am I supposed to do

If you teach me one of your tricks

Perhaps some friends might then ensue

—

I cannot help you friend

He said

For those tricks are mine alone

You must find your own way

Even if it means a lifetime alone

6

The T

As I sit here

All alone

And my tears

Begin to fall

I am reminded

Once again

Chamomile tea

Solves fuck all

24

Left Behind

If all you do

Is stay at home

In a self imposed

Exile

You’ll soon find

Not even your friends

Will miss you

After a while

23

A Selfish Cunt

Call yourself a friend

When you left me here alone

When you couldn’t even be bothered

To visit or lift the phone

Call yourself a friend

When you all you did was make me frown

When you were only happy

If you were putting me down

Call yourself a friend

When you never gave me any advice

Well I know what I’d call you

And it isn’t very nice

44

Kissing Frogs

I sit here on the sofa

All alone

With the hope of love

Completely gone

Yet I dare to dream

That perhaps one day

My prince will come

To take the pain away

20

A Pig In Shit

Your comfort zone will kill you

Isn’t that what they say?

Well I say that is nonsense

As I’m happy living this way

26

Community

If it takes a village to raise a child

Then my neighbours must have been out

Because I pretty much

Dragged myself up

Of that there is no doubt

23

Memorial Memories

It’s been two years since you left me

Sitting all alone in that church

Cold, confused and crying

So painfully in the lurch

But it’s not really his death you know,

That has been the most pernicious

It’s how the rest of you have chosen to be

So incredibly fucking malicious

10

If You Like

Stitch my wounds, if you like
I want to feel the pain
Don't call me a silly girl
For I'll only do it again

Ask me why, if you like
But you will never understand
The need, the comfort, the urgency
Those scissors close at hand

Leave me here, if you like
Walk away if you dare
Just remember I never asked for your help
Or your tender loving care

Forget I exist, if you like
It will not bother me one bit
For I'll always have my trusty blade
And carry my own first aid kit

(Originally Posted 08.04.2019)
4

Wilderness

Never amongst so many people

Have I felt so alone

I really do not want to stay

But know I can’t go home

Yet for all the kindness

And love I’ve been shown

I still cannot face another day

Here on my own

(Originally Posted 01.06.2019)

22

The Reality

Life goes on,
now I’m alone,
as tears wash
over me
like rain.

Time moves on,
as I come undone,
with fear that
I’ll never
love again.

(Originally Posted 10.07.2019)

14

Practice

Try as I may

I just cannot dance

To the beat of your drum


I'm always out of time


(Originally Posted 08.03.2019)

 

16

Out of Space

It's like I'm an alien.

Cast adrift on the wrong planet, 

Slowly waving cheerio to the spacecraft as it departs.

'Please, don't leave me behind...'

(Originally Posted 06.03.2019)

 

16

Dinner For One

So what is going to happen

When I'm here all alone 

Nobody allowed to visit

Me unable to go home

I guess I'll just watch shit TV

And drown myself in beer

Whilst hoping for an early end

To all this fucking cheer
15

Thoughtless

Not only is it the time of year for giving

But the time for receiving too

You’ve no idea how glad I am

There’s no more bullshit gifts from you

6

Sanctuary

Never more than when

I’m in a room full of people

Do I feel most alone

All I want to do is beat

A slow, silent, steady retreat

And find my sanctuary at home

15

Going Too Far

Lying 
here 
in 
this 
strange 
bed

Wondering
what
was
going on
inside 
my head

Trying 
to
ignore
this 
feeling
of dread

Wishing 
I had
chosen 
to stay
at home
instead
9

All That Once Was

It
was so
much
better

When
you
were
here

Holding
you
close

Pulling
you
near

Now
all
that
once
was

Has
gone
away

I’m
left
here
alone

And
that’s
not
OK

Xxx

25

Troubled

Staying
up
late
again

Sitting
here
all
alone

Unable to
shake this
creeping
feeling

That
I really
should
have
known

10

Blunt

I
wish
you
were
here
with
me

But
instead
I’m
all
alone

If
only
you
would
write
a letter

Or
call
me on
the
phone

It
would
be so
wonderful
to facetime

Or
if
you
texted
me
instead

But
I know
you
won’t
do any
of these

You
can’t

Because
you’re
dead

9

Let Me Go

Please
just
walk
away

And
take
yourself
off home

I
don’t
want to
talk

I
want
to be
alone

4

O Unhappy Day

I never
thought
you
wouldn’t
be here
today

It’s
still
hard to
accept
that you
went away

Perhaps
you’re
still
with me
here in
spirit

I just
wish
your
presence
was more
explicit

Xxx

4

Please Don’t Go

If
I can’t
speak
to you
anymore

Then
who
else is
going to
listen?

There’s
not
many
that
can
tolerate

My
incessant
whining
and
bitching

9

Detached

It
matters
not

If
I go
out

Or if
I stay
at home

As
either
way

It’s
clear
to me

I’ll
always
be alone

9

Quicksand

I’ve
no
idea

How
I got
in

But
I know
I can’t

Get
out

There’s
no one
here

To
lend
a hand

Or
act
upon

My
shout

28

The Far Side

You
don’t
have
to be
here

For
me to
know
you
care

You
don’t
have
to be
near

For
me to
know
you’re
there

Xxx

8

Granite

I wish
you were
with me

Gently
squeezing
my hand

Providing
me with
comfort

Helping me
understand

8

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