Memorial Memories

It’s been two years since you left me

Sitting all alone in that church

Cold, confused and crying

So painfully in the lurch

But it’s not really his death you know,

That has been the most pernicious

It’s how the rest of you have chosen to be

So incredibly fucking malicious

If You Like

Stitch my wounds, if you like
I want to feel the pain
Don't call me a silly girl
For I'll only do it again

Ask me why, if you like
But you will never understand
The need, the comfort, the urgency
Those scissors close at hand

Leave me here, if you like
Walk away if you dare
Just remember I never asked for your help
Or your tender loving care

Forget I exist, if you like
It will not bother me one bit
For I'll always have my trusty blade
And carry my own first aid kit

(Originally Posted 08.04.2019)

Wilderness

Never amongst so many people

Have I felt so alone

I really do not want to stay

But know I can’t go home

Yet for all the kindness

And love I’ve been shown

I still cannot face another day

Here on my own

(Originally Posted 01.06.2019)

The Reality

Life goes on,
now I’m alone,
as tears wash
over me
like rain.

Time moves on,
as I come undone,
with fear that
I’ll never
love again.

(Originally Posted 10.07.2019)

Practice

Try as I may

I just cannot dance

To the beat of your drum


I'm always out of time


(Originally Posted 08.03.2019)

 

Out of Space

It's like I'm an alien.

Cast adrift on the wrong planet,

Slowly waving cheerio to the spacecraft as it departs.

'Please, don't leave me behind...'

(Originally Posted 06.03.2019)

 

Dinner For One

So what is going to happen

When I'm here all alone

Nobody allowed to visit

Me unable to go home

I guess I'll just watch shit TV

And drown myself in beer

Whilst hoping for an early end

To all this fucking cheer

Thoughtless

Not only is it the time of year for giving

But the time for receiving too

You’ve no idea how glad I am

There’s no more bullshit gifts from you

Sanctuary

Never more than when

I’m in a room full of people

Do I feel most alone

All I want to do is beat

A slow, silent, steady retreat

And find my sanctuary at home

Going Too Far

Lying 
here
in
this
strange
bed

Wondering
what
was
going on
inside
my head

Trying
to
ignore
this
feeling
of dread

Wishing
I had
chosen
to stay
at home
instead

All That Once Was

It
was so
much
better

When
you
were
here

Holding
you
close

Pulling
you
near

Now
all
that
once
was

Has
gone
away

I’m
left
here
alone

And
that’s
not
OK

Xxx

Troubled

Staying
up
late
again

Sitting
here
all
alone

Unable to
shake this
creeping
feeling

That
I really
should
have
known

Blunt

I
wish
you
were
here
with
me

But
instead
I’m
all
alone

If
only
you
would
write
a letter

Or
call
me on
the
phone

It
would
be so
wonderful
to facetime

Or
if
you
texted
me
instead

But
I know
you
won’t
do any
of these

You
can’t

Because
you’re
dead

Let Me Go

Please
just
walk
away

And
take
yourself
off home

I
don’t
want to
talk

I
want
to be
alone

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