Losing The Plot

If only this was a movie

One where the good guy wins

I wouldn’t be sitting here, alone,

Knocking back the gins

09/04/2021 17

Memorial Memories

It’s been two years since you left me

Sitting all alone in that church

Cold, confused and crying

So painfully in the lurch

But it’s not really his death you know,

That has been the most pernicious

It’s how the rest of you have chosen to be

So incredibly fucking malicious

28/03/2021 10

If You Like

Stitch my wounds, if you like
I want to feel the pain
Don't call me a silly girl
For I'll only do it again

Ask me why, if you like
But you will never understand
The need, the comfort, the urgency
Those scissors close at hand

Leave me here, if you like
Walk away if you dare
Just remember I never asked for your help
Or your tender loving care

Forget I exist, if you like
It will not bother me one bit
For I'll always have my trusty blade
And carry my own first aid kit

(Originally Posted 08.04.2019)

28/02/2021 4

Wilderness

Never amongst so many people

Have I felt so alone

I really do not want to stay

But know I can’t go home

Yet for all the kindness

And love I’ve been shown

I still cannot face another day

Here on my own

(Originally Posted 01.06.2019)

26/02/2021 20

The Reality

Life goes on,
now I’m alone,
as tears wash
over me
like rain.

Time moves on,
as I come undone,
with fear that
I’ll never
love again.

(Originally Posted 10.07.2019)

22/02/2021 14

Practice

Try as I may

I just cannot dance

To the beat of your drum


I'm always out of time


(Originally Posted 08.03.2019)

03/02/2021 16

Out of Space

It's like I'm an alien.

Cast adrift on the wrong planet, 

Slowly waving cheerio to the spacecraft as it departs.

'Please, don't leave me behind...'

(Originally Posted 06.03.2019)

31/01/2021 16

Dinner For One

So what is going to happen

When I'm here all alone 

Nobody allowed to visit

Me unable to go home

I guess I'll just watch shit TV

And drown myself in beer

Whilst hoping for an early end

To all this fucking cheer

24/12/2020 15

Thoughtless

Not only is it the time of year for giving

But the time for receiving too

You’ve no idea how glad I am

There’s no more bullshit gifts from you

19/12/2020 6

Sanctuary

Never more than when

I’m in a room full of people

Do I feel most alone

All I want to do is beat

A slow, silent, steady retreat

And find my sanctuary at home

10/12/2020 15

Going Too Far

Lying 
here 
in 
this 
strange 
bed

Wondering
what
was
going on
inside 
my head

Trying 
to
ignore
this 
feeling
of dread

Wishing 
I had
chosen 
to stay
at home
instead

07/12/2020 9

All That Once Was

It
was so
much
better

When
you
were
here

Holding
you
close

Pulling
you
near

Now
all
that
once
was

Has
gone
away

I’m
left
here
alone

And
that’s
not
OK

Xxx