I’d obviously been reading
A lot of Stevie Smith
So much so, it seems,
That I ripped her off a bit
Strong Currents
I’m all
at sea
But no one
sees me
Gesticulating
wildly
Against
the tide
(Originally Posted 21.12.2019)
What A Difference Three Months Makes
Run around
Jump up and down
That arrogant prick
Has just left town
As it turns out
He was a brutish lout
Intent on flinging my heart about
Next time I’ll know
Not to lower my wall
And for romantic bullshit
I will not fall
Quickstep
Run around
Jump up and down
There’s a new love in town!
He’s really neat
And ever so sweet
This black heart skips a beat
I think that now
I’m ready for more
As I wait for him to whisk me
Across the dancefloor
(Originally Posted 21.12.2020)
The Final Appointment
I don’t need this, any more
I’m doing a lot better
She said
Now I just hear screaming
Once or twice a week
And only inside my head
The Circus Is Back In Town
I wish
I spent
more time
sleeping
Instead
of all
this
weeping
It would
be nice to
do some
dreaming
As
opposed
to all this
screaming
(Originally Posted 21.12.2019)
Best Thing I Ever Did
Full of your own
Self importance
Never short
Of a winning performance
You had vanity at your core
All those years
You implored us
Until that day
We saw your distortions
And I walked out the door
I’m Fine Thanks
I’m sorry you think I’ve missed you
As I haven’t given one fuck
If you thought you mattered
And my life is shattered
Well then, you’re shit out of luck
(Originally Posted 20.12.2021)
‘I’ll Never Be Anybody’s Hero Now’
I used to be
Quite kindly
Cheerful
And fresh of face
Then something happened
That kicked off a pattern
Of both misery
And disgrace
Pedestals
They say you don’t know
What you mean to people
Whom you may never see
Well all I can say
Is I hope and pray
That no one relies on me
(Originally Posted 20.12.2020)
A Distinct Lack Of Merriment
All those years
All those lists
When all I wanted
Was to eat and get pissed
Thoughtless
Not only is it the time of year for giving
But the time for receiving too
You’ve no idea how glad I am
There’s no more bullshit gifts from you
(Originally Posted 19.12.2020)
He’ll Find Out For Himself
I’ll meet him
Myself one day
When his childhood lens
Has fallen away
And I’ll explain
What happened to us
And we’ll see if you threw me
Under the bus
Vindictive Cow
I
wonder
what
you’ve
told him
Now
I’m
no
longer
there
Have
you
bothered
to tell
the truth?
Or
just
said
I no
longer
care?
(Originally Posted 19.12.2019)
An Unlikely Source
Not only was he handsome,
Smart and debonair
It also transpired
After he had inquired
That he was a millionaire
Currency
I’ll
give
you a
penny
for
them
He
said
Tell
me
your
ups
and
downs
You
can
put
your
coppers
away
She
said
As
to hear
those
you’ll
need
pounds
(Originally Posted 18.12.2020)
‘the weirdness flows between us’
The worst is in the office
With the radio on
And no-one bats an eyelid
When they play our favourite song
Xxx
Name That Tune
People play
those songs
With no notion
of this pain
No idea that
when I hear them
My heart bleeds
for you again
(Originally Posted 18.12.2019)
Cutting It Short
He never did
Text me back
No Facebook, Insta,
Or Whatsapp
Not that I really
Gave a shit
As it proved that he
Could never commit
The Final Fling
I hope
I’ve done
the right
thing
For as
yet, you
haven’t
replied
Perhaps
this is
finally
the end
I guess
I’ll wait
for you
to decide
(Originally Posted 18.12.2019)
“Winner… By A Knockout”
How funny it was to read this
It’s almost prophetic in a way
As I hadn’t actually bumped into her
When I wrote this back in the day
This was actually what I hoped I’d do
If such a meeting ever arose
How I wouldn’t even acknowledge her
If we were to be up close
I had no real way of knowing
If I was capable of such a thing
As I might’ve just ran and hid
From the sight of her shit eating grin
But as it is I needn’t have worried
As I saw her just last week
In the most utterly random encounter
That you could ever wish seek
And I did, indeed, just saunter by
Leaving her mealy mouth struck dumb
Whereas I walked away both victorious
And comfortably numb
Getting Better At Caring Less
I walked
past you
today
And didn’t
even turn
my head
I just
quietly
sauntered
by
And felt
nothing
for you
instead
(Originally Posted 17.12.2019)
I’m Loving Life
I hope you’re feeling
The cold up there
On what you think
Is the moral high ground
Sad, lonely
And freezing to death
While I’m down here
Safe and sound
Toy Soldiers
Did it ever occur to you
That I didn’t want you to know
What would you have done anyway
Other than used it as ammo
In this ridiculous war against me
That you felt the need to wage
Well I’m glad I never said a word
And from your battle, just disengaged
(Originally Posted 17.12.2020)
As Meek As Mice
It’s always the quiet ones
You need to watch
As they’re the ones
Who never get caught
Treachery
This cannot be
What you want
Surely,
It’s a joke
For I am not
That kind of woman
And you’re not
That kind of bloke
(Originally Posted 16.12.2020)
Qualms
An allegory for so much
This one
Love, life and death
Trying to capture that feeling
When you need to stop
And pause for breath
Keep The Engine Running
Shall
we go
ahead
and jump
He
asked
Now that
we’ve
come
this far?
I’m not
so sure,
anymore,
She
said
Let’s just
get back
in the
car
(Originally Posted 16.12.2019)
Feet First
In for a penny
In for a pound
Isn’t that what they say?
Well all I know is
If there are no strings
Then I’ll be there without delay
Cocktails At Dawn
Come over here
Let’s have a taste
As it would be a shame
If this went to waste
(Originally Posted 16.12.2020)
Super Human
The extent of your brilliance
They never could see
But you were always more
Than just a man to me
Xxx
Afterlife
You still
save me
in so
many ways
Even
from
beyond
the grave
(Originally Posted 15.12.2019)
Trauma Breeds Trauma
It started off
Innocently enough
But the problem was
It worked
The desire then grew
And deep down I knew
How I’d forever quench
My thirst
‘Slash & Burn’
Skin somewhat healing
And yet I’m still reeling
As my heart slowly withers
Is there a more appealing
Way to cope with this feeling
Other than with a pair of scissors?
(Originally Posted 15.12.2020)
Clocking In
Never
Do I feel this more
Than each time I walk
Through that door
Sown Up
I don’t feel better.
I haven’t forgotten.
I’ve just stopped telling you,
How I feel.
(Originally Posted 15.12.2020)
Survival
This
ain’t
my first
rodeo
And it
won’t
be my
last
As
there’s
always a
change
I
can
undergo
To
keep
myself
intact
‘And The Academy Award Goes To…’
You’re
no fun
anymore
He
said
What
happened
to you
my friend?
I was
never
fun
before
She
said
All of
that
was
just
pretend
(Originally Posted 14.12.2020)
“Feeling Good As Hell”
You may think
That I’m left whimpering
But I can promise you
I am not
For I no longer need suffer
Your simpering
Which was worth
Every inch we fought
The High Road
You can just
Fuck off now
As I
Have had enough
I no longer
Give a shit
About all this
Selfish stuff
But you should know
Just one thing
And yes,
I will be blunt
Maybe I wasn’t
Always right
But you
Were always a cunt
(Originally Posted 14.12.2020)
The Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing
I don’t think
I meant this
As me being
Hard done by
I think it
Was more
To show
At my core
That I’m actually
Not a good guy
Unfair
I never
get what
I want
Let alone
what I
deserve
(Originally Posted 14.12.2019)
Gun Laws
It may well be known
As the land of the free
But that’s not always how
It looks to me
Clarity
In the time it took
To load the gun
He realised how
His demons had won
(Originally Posted 13.12.2020)
Submitted
With a mindset shifted
And a choice insisted
An opportunity gifted
And a weight now lifted
Epitaph
Do you
ever wish
you could
just give
up?
Say
right,
that’s it,
I’ve had
enough!
I’m
done
with
all this
fucking
shit
I’m
finally
going
through
with it!
Well
I think
these
things
every
day
Those
words
to easy
for me
to say
And
so, it
seems,
my
demons
have won
For
I can
say now
I am
officially
done
(Originally Posted 13.12.2019)
In My Little Corner Of The Internet
Even when
I’m dead and gone
I know now my words
Will always live on
Indelible
The words
I write
may well
be stark
For they
are made
to leave
their mark
Upon your
weak and
thready
heart
Forever
(Originally Posted 12.12.2019)
Fine Dining
Never again
Will I be forced
To visit someone else’s home
Even if that means
Living off chips and beans
And forever eating alone
Dinnertime
I’ll never
go back
there
again
They
can all
just get
to fuck
I’ve no
desire
to talk
to them
As with
my heart
they’ve
ran amuck
(Originally Posted 12.12.2019)
Perfunctory
Sometimes I wonder
If I made it out alive
Or if I’m actually still dead
I mean I know
I put on a good show
But I’d rather just feel it instead
But Still Alive
Mired in madness
Subsumed in sadness
Buried here forever
Lost in blackness
(Originally Posted 12.12.2019)
‘Reality Bites’
In a way it’s easier
To still see you every day
For as we get both older
My heart grows colder
And doesn’t hurt in the same way
Taken
I can bear most things in life
But it kills me every time
To know no matter what I do
You will never again be mine
(Originally Posted 11.12.2020)
Only The Half Of It
Reading this one back again
I feel so sorry for her
Clearly she lost more,
When he died,
Than her words could ever infer
I Can’t Bring You Back Though, Can I?
I can look at your photo
I can whisper your name
I can press your shirt
Against my face
But nothing feels the same
(Originally Posted 11.12.2020)
Coquetry
Alhough we’ve never spoken
It’s still my daily treat
To remember that emotion
As our eyes shyly meet
After All
You
were
here
last
time
I
clearly
remember
your
smile
Perhaps
leaving
the
house
today
Might
yet
prove
to be
worthwhile
(Originally Posted 11.12.2019)
Move Over, Wednesday
You’re hardly the life and soul
They said
Even with a drink you’re glum
You don’t know the half of it
She said
I didn’t even want to come
Sanctuary
Never more than when
I’m in a room full of people
Do I feel most the alone
All I want to do is beat
A slow and steady retreat
And find my sanctuary at home
(Originally Posted 10.12.2020)
The Urgent Sea Of Life
There’s something about
The rush of the waves
Those echoing sounds
From beyond the caves
This feels like home
To me
That sheer expanse
Of glass like water
As I stand here shaking
In awe before her
I know when I wade in
I’ll be free
Happy Place
Take me back
To the sea
For it is where
I need to be
But don’t think because
I’ve emptied my pockets
That will be
Enough to stop it
For in the end
It will just be me
Sinking down
Into the depths of the sea
(Originally Posted 10.12.2020)
The Lochaber Traverse
I gave away
Your boots today
To a charity shop
For next time I know
I’ll be walking alone
All along that rugged hilltop
Gone For Good
What I have lost
Can’t be replaced
For our footsteps
Can’t be retraced
(Originally Posted 10.12.2019)
Wasting Time
If only I was sure
He thought
That she feels the same way
I just wish he’d ask
She said
To her friend, later, that day
Admissions
Looking
at you
Looking
at me
When will
we tire
Of this
malarkey
(Originally Posted 10.12.2019)
Pulling The Wool
The worst part
About what happened
Is that your role
Is still unexamined
Capitulation
I’m
now
ready
to walk
away
As you’ve
made it
impossible
for me
to stay
All I
hope
is
that
one day
You
are as
unhappy
as I am
today
(Originally Posted 09.12.2019)
Dead Inside
I know
That depression
Is cyclical
Yet I’m still taken
By surprise
Whenever
It hits
And I feel
Like shit
As the light fades
From behind my eyes
Sprung
The beast has crept back in again
She’s beaten down my door
And there was me,
Foolishly,
Thinking I wouldn’t need pills anymore
(Originally Posted 09.12.2020)
Parasite
Although I wrote this
For someone else
It suddenly occurs to me
That a finer analogy
For your behavior
There could never be
Leech
I
don’t
owe
you a
penny
But
you
sure do
owe
me
For
putting
food in
your
belly
And
living
in my
home
rent free
(Originally Posted 09.12.2019)
Way Too Eager
Well it’s not like I can help it
Said the moth
To the flame
My attraction to you is hard-wired
Well your way of showing it
Said the flame
To the moth
Leaves a lot to be desired
Wings
Fuck
this
shit
Said
the
moth
To
the
flame
It is
never
going
to work
It’s all
your
fault
Said
the
flame
To
the
moth
For
going so
fucking
berserk
(Originally Posted 08.12.2019)
Gold Dust
Even though
We only
Get one heart
I still
Gave mine
Away
But our love’s
Duet
I will never
Regret
Until
My dying day
Nothing Left
I
loved
you
And
you
loved
me
So now
my
penance
Is
never
to be
free
To
love
again
(Originally Posted 08.12.2019)
The Long Way Down
I remember
When I heard this
Oh how I laughed
And laughed
To know that finally,
And rightfully,
You have fallen on your ass
Music To My Ears
So I’ve heard that you
Are starting to feel
Like you’re reaping
What you sowed
Well all I can say
Is poor, poor you
I hope your pain
Has overflowed
As I, for one,
Cannot express
Just how happy
I am to know
That perhaps now you
Can comprehend
How it feels
To be alone
(Originally Posted 08.12.2020)
“I’m OK By Myself”
Someone asked me
Today
Why I prefer to travel
Alone
Because it’s easier
I said
Than listening to other people
Moan
Better Off Dead
Sometimes
I
wonder,
Is
this all
there is?
Just
boredom,
emptiness
And your
endless
bullshit?
I couldn’t
think of
anything
nicer,
Than to be
somewhere
else
instead.
Far from
all the
anxiety
and pain,
And your
words
plaguing
my head
(Originally Posted 07.12.2019)
Sleeping Alone
I thought having sex with strangers
Would get him out of my head
And though it filled a hole
That wasn’t my goal
So now it’s back to my own bed
Going Too Far
Lying
here
alone
In
this
strange
bed
Wondering
what the
fuck
Was
in my
head
Now I
must
ignore
This
feeling
of dread
And
stop
wishing
that I’d
Stayed
home
instead
(Originally Posted 07.12.2020)
The Asylum Called – They Want Their Jacket Back
If only one day
He’d answer back
Instead of just little
Old lunatic me
Shouting into the black
Into The Wind
As my life passes me by
I lose the will to even try
So I raise my hands to the sky
And scream why me, you arsehole, why?
(Originally Posted 07.12.2020)
Mutually Exclusive
Between your happiness
And mine
I’d pick my freedom
Everytime
Last In Line
If you continue to push this
She said
And I am forced to choose
You really should be prepared
She said
For the fact I won’t pick you
(Originally Posted 06.12.2021)
Fucking Fluoxetine
I enjoyed my trip
Up to the heavens
Albeit for just
Those thirty seconds
One Night Only
This bed’s not big enough
For the both of us
So I’ll be the one to leave
We should just be glad
For the time we’ve had
And the little bit of reprieve
(Originally Posted 06.12.2020)
The Sudden Calmness
They were all hoping
The blues would fade
But they were unaware
My decision was made
Rope
I know
I can’t
do this
anymore
My soul
is heavy
and my
heart
is sore
I feel
the relief
in every
pore
As I walk
along
to the
hardware
store
(Originally Posted 06.12.2019)
We Haven’t Got All Day
You’ve had more
Than enough time now
To decide once and for all
What you need to do
Is just tell us now
So we can both prepare for the fall
On Tenterhooks
I really don’t care
If I win or lose
Either way around
I just wish you’d choose
(Originally Posted 05.12.2020)
It’ll Need Stitches
I can clean it with antiseptic
He said
And cover it with a plaster
It won’t make any difference
She said
It’s still a fucking disaster
Bleeding
It feels
like I’ve
been
robbed,
she said,
Of the
only
love
in my
life
This
pain
just
runs
so deep,
she sobbed,
As it
cuts
through me
like a
knife
(Originally Posted 05.12.2019)
Imperfectly Perfect
All those memories
Good and bad
Making me smile
Driving me mad
Yet lying here
It makes me sad
As we never knew
Quite what we had
The Old Days
Waking along
this empty street
Splashing puddles
with my feet
I remember when
we used to meet
And my broken heart
skips a beat
(Originally Posted 05.12.2019)
Alt. 670m (2199ft)
Trying
In vain
To feel alive
There’s one more
Mountain
Left to drive
Hometime
As the hurt starts to subside
And the pain begins to fade
I’m never too far
From the reminder
Grief is still the sharpest blade
(Originally Posted 04.12.2020)
I Can’t Say I Didn’t Think About It
We could have chatted
All day today
If only the sea
Had swept me away
The Beach
I’m
glad
I spoke
to you
today
Even
though
it was
only
the
wind
That
could
reply
Xxx
(Originally Posted 04.12.2020)
At The Train Station
You felt it
As I did I
When we locked eyes
That day
Now you know it
As do I
And so,
I walked away
‘Guilt’s A Heavy Load’
Your
mouth
is full
of spite
She said
The
words
you use
are savage
It must
be so
hard for
you
She said
To carry
around
such
baggage
(Originally Posted 03.12.2019)
(High)lands Reprise
As I stand here
Taking snaps
Comparing them
To years past
I am struck
By the magnitude
Of how much I now
Love my solitude
(High)lands
Let us
roam
amongst
the
heather
Laugh
out loud
betwixt
the
blether
Kiss
amidst
this
stormy
weather
Until
we
come
undone
together
(Originally Posted 03.12.2020)
Unlearning
Why do you still deny yourself
He said
You more than deserve some happiness
It’s like I’ll never be free
She said
From the memory of all the nastiness
Forbidden Love
Come
a little
closer,
He
said,
I want
to see
your
face.
Just
you
stay
away,
She
said,
I daren’t
risk
another
embrace.
(Originally Posted 03.12.2019)
Letting You Go
I really did love you, you know
I wish I’d told you so before
And now you’re gone
Nothing can be done
But to regret it
Forevermore
Xxx
(Originally Posted 02.12.2021)
Ain’t Life Grand
We
only
really
reached
halfway
When
you
went
and
died
on me
Now
what
was
once
bright
is grey
As
I deal
with
life’s
debris
(Originally Posted 02.12.2020)
The View
Waves crash,
As memories smash,
Against the walls of my heart.
That we were once here,
Full of youthful cheer,
Just tears my soul apart.
Xxx
(Originally Posted 02.12.2019)
Once Upon A Time
Another
day passes
And I
miss you
like mad
As through
rose tinted
glasses
I remember
what we had
Xxx
(Originally Posted 02.12.2019)
The Death Of Me
The Death Of Me
Nearly twenty years together
And what do I have to show
Just a blackened heart
Now we’re three years apart
And sadness the status quo
Xxx
(Originally Posted 01.12.2021)
Six Years Ago
Walk down the aisle with me?
She said
The bakery aisle, that is
I thought you were being serious
He said
And my heart just skipped a beat
Xxx
(Originally Posted 01.12.2021)
Still
Thunder rolls
Lightning strikes
As grief still cuts me
Like a knife
Xxx
(Originally Posted 01.12.2020)
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 
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