Plus Ca Change

So
this
is
it

Lying
in bed
all day
again

Wine
and
cigarettes
my only
friend

I’m so
bored
of this
shit

I
could
make
myself
sick

I
really
am
nothing

But a
nauseating
prick

Mother’s Ruin

As
the rot
starts
to set
in

I
pour
myself
another
gin

To
silence
the pain
in my
head

As
the
thoughts
seem to
shift

My
mood
starts
to
lift

And
I can
finally
get out
of bed

Cambuslang

All
those
days we
stayed
in bed

They
rattle
around
inside
my head

Until
the tears
run from
my eyes

As the
love we
shared
slowly
dies

Xxx

Self Inflicted

I’m not
moving
from
my bed
today

At least
until this
hangover
goes
away

Then
I’ll curl
up on my
favourite
armchair

And eat
crisps
all night
without
a care

8.05pm

I can’t
be arsed
with any
more today

I’m just
going
to go
to bed

At least
that way I
might get
some respite

From the
voices
inside
my head

Haunted

Death
peers in
through
the gloom

As I
lie here
alone in
this room

Upon
this bed
we once
shared

Crying for
the love
we once
declared

Forty Winks

Why do
I bother
coming
to bed

It’s not
like I
can
sleep

All I
do is
fucking
lie here

Overthinking
and
counting
sheep

Tuesday

I called in sick for work today.

My heart just couldn’t come out to play.

All I’ve done is lie in bed

Filled with thoughts of fear and dread.

With nausea consuming every movement,

My mood shows no sign of improvement.

I hate existing like this.

Full of anger, self loathing and all that shit.

I wonder how much more emotion can I conceal

Before I decide to end it all for real

A Long Forty Eight Hours

If you stare
at the same four walls
for long enough,
a fifth can start
to appear.

Perhaps it’s then
you’re supposed to
realise that
the end is near.

If you stare
at the same four walls
for long enough,
your mind can
start to bend.

Perhaps it’s then
you’re supposed to
know it’s the
beginning of the end.

Another Wasted Day

It’s four twenty five in the afternoon and I’m still lying in bed.

Trying, in vain, to sleep away the thoughts inside my head.

Perhaps I should get up and go out for a bracing walk instead.

It has to be better than staying in here and wishing I was dead.

Freezing

I tried really hard today.

To laugh.

To be normal.

To forget.

And I managed, for a while.

But still I lie in bed here, freezing, hoping to go to sleep and dream of you.

Imprint

I roll over to your side of the bed.

My limbs search for yours,

My lungs for your scent,

My mouth for your kiss.

But all that’s left is your imprint.

And my tears seep into your pillow once again.