The Blind Date

Only halfway

Through your story

And you’re already

Beginning to bore me

Sometime later

When your story ends

I know for sure

We’ll just be friends

29/10/2025 12

Your Game Needs Work

It wasn’t

That I

Am frigid

Or disinterested

In scoring

But your attempts

To flirt

Were insipid

And your chat,

Pretty boring

08/07/2024 15

“That Plastering Needs Done”

If I was a little more forward

And not just so uptight

Then I’d stop being so awkward

And sleep with you tonight

But as it is I’m a coward

With no confidence at all

So the only thing I’ll see tonight

Are the cracks in my bedroom wall

30/03/2024 0

This Dating Life

You weren’t even worth
Making a mess
Of my shiny red lips
Or that brand new dress

You didn’t deserve
What was underneath
Or to hear me moan
Between the sheets

So now you know
Why I “got the hump”
As you’re home alone
Having fucked things up

And when they all ask
How my evening went
I’ll be sure to tell them
Of my utter torment

19/10/2023 2

The Wrong Vibes

Perhaps it’s because I’m boring

Or maybe it’s just that I’m mad

But whatever I project

I’m easy to reject

Hence why my social life is so bad

Detached

It
matters
not

If
I go
out

Or if
I stay
at home

As
either
way

Suffice
it to
say

I will
always
end up
alone

(Originally Posted 21.07.2020)

21/07/2022 9

One Trick Pony

Can’t you change things up

He said

All you do is bitch and whine

I honestly would if I could

She said

As I bore myself half the time

Myself

Why can’t I trust myself,
like I trusted you?

Why can’t I protect myself,
like I protected you?

Why can’t I love myself,
like I loved you?

Why?

(Originally Posted 19.05.2019)

19/05/2022 2

The Dry Well

What can you do

When the words won’t flow

When you have exhausted

Every topic you know

Perhaps all there is

Is to put down the pen

And hope that one day

You’ll be hurt again

30/01/2022 14

From Birth

Why is everything so fucking bleak with you

He said

Why can’t you just stop moping around

For my melancholy is lifelong

She said

And no cure can be found

14/05/2021 2

‘My Only Friend, The End…’

We can 
never 
let 
ourselves 
forget

She 
said 

That 
the 
worst
is often 
yet to 
come 

For 
crying 
out 
loud

He 
said 

How 
fucking 
long

Are 
you 
going 
to
bang
this
drum?

11/01/2021 17

It Takes All Sorts

Sometimes
I wish
I was
normal

But
then
I remember
nobody is

And how
thankful
I am
for that

Otherwise
life would
be boring
as shit

09/10/2020 11

Stale

He
reaches
over for
my hand

Thinking
that
I’ll
understand

But
I don’t

He’s
hoping
that
I will
be grand

Living
in this
no man’s
land

But
I won’t

03/07/2020 4

Staid

Is
that
it
now

Are
we
finally
done?

As I
would
like
to go
out
now

And
have
a bit
of
fun

01/07/2020 4

Unremarkable

I know
I am no
expert

But I wish
you would
just admit

That your
claim to be
an introvert

Is
absolute
bullshit

You’re
actually
just boring

That is
the truth
of it

Devoid
of all
reasoning

With a
complete
lack of wit

You say
you’re
introspective

To seem
like less of
a lame duck

But your
attempts are
ineffective

As you’re
simply dull
as fuck