Tag: childhood

Ghosts Of The Past

I think it’s unfair

To suggest

I use my childhood

As a shield

When, in fact,

It’s the way they act

That makes me

Unwilling

To yield

0

Daddy Issues

Now I know

Why you left

Time

And time again

It wasn’t because

I wasn’t enough

You just couldn’t

Stand the pain

4

I Remember

You cannot say

You didn’t know

Or that I wasn’t clear

When I said no

The fact that you

Were “just a kid”

Will never justify

What you did

4

Not In Front Of The Kids

I hear you shout

Through the wall

And realise you don’t

Love her at all 

Then I see you fight

From my bed

And know you won’t stop

Until she’s dead

2

Groomed

Please don’t act

Like you asked

When you

Just fucking took it

There’s no hiding the fact

It wasn’t lawful contact

However

You fucking put it

0

It Was Only A 10p Mix Up

Based on a true story this

From when I was about six or seven

I stole some sweets

So the owner called the police

In order to teach me a lesson

I have always felt

He was a little harsh

And his reaction was over the top

But I guess I learned then

Never to steal again

Well, at least not from his shop

Cops & Robbers

Caught with
my hands
in the
sweetie jar

I retreat,
shamefaced,
when I
hear a
police car…

Who the
fuck has
called
the cops?

I only
stole
a few
pear
drops…

(Originally Posted 11.08.2019)

20

Copycat

She taught me everything I know

Both for the good and for the bad

Still, I cannot help but love her

As she’s the only mother I’ll have

Nature Vs Nurture

The
packet
cracks

As
the
tablet
snaps

And I
glug it
down
with
water

My
body
contracts

As
I face
the
facts

That
I am my
mother’s
daughter

(Originally Posted 11.06.2020)

9

Interred

If only it was

An abyss we shared

Rather than you long gone

And me ill-prepared

Captives

Was it you

Or was it me

Who soldiered on

Too blind to see

It was always destined

To end like this

With both of us falling

Into the abyss

(Originally Posted 10.06.2021)

0

Larkin Had It Right

If I’d had a decent role model

Maybe I’d know what to do

But as my childhood was a debacle

I’ve got nothing to compare this to

The Reverse

I’ve never felt happiness,
I don’t know what it is.

I’ve never even seen happiness,
But I’m pretty sure it’s not this.

(Originally Posted 06.06.2019)

2

I Can Still Hear Her Now

I’m not drunk

She says

It’s all in your head

I know you’re lying

She says

I’ve seen under your bed

Mother’s Ruin

As
the rot
starts
to set
in

I
pour
myself
another
gin

To
silence
the pain
in my
head

As
the
thoughts
seem to
shift

My
mood
starts
to
lift

And
I can
finally
get out
of bed

(Originally Posted 20.05.2020)

2

I Blame The Parents

The simple things in life

It seems

Are not for the likes of me

All I feel I deserve

It seems

Is pain and misery

Arcadia

Here
I am
again

Sitting
all
alone

I don’t
like this
anymore

I just
want to
go home

(Originally Posted 09.05.2020)

0

Learning To Trust

It must be

The child in me

That tests people like I do

But if you could see

What happened to me

Then you’d be wary of people too

Friendship

Every time I make you laugh another part of me dies inside.

For you can never be the one to whom I can confide.

It’s my own fault, I know too well, as I should not try to pretend.

But if you could see past my facade, you’d make a cracking friend.

(Originally Posted 02.04.2019)

9

The Self Fulfilling Prophecy

It doesn’t seem to matter

Who tries to talk me up

I cannot ever escape the feeling

That I am a total fuck up

It started when I was young

When I was told I was a peice of shit

That I’d never amount to anything

Despite whatever it was I did

Even into adulthood

That was always on my mind

Although I have since met people

Who are all supportive and kind

But now as I stand here

At another fork in my life’s tale

I just wish I could believe them

Instead of those who convinced me I’d fail

Flightless Bird

If only
I believed
you

Things
would be
so different

If only I
was who
you see

Life
could be
magnificent

(Originally Posted 14.03.2020)

10

Too Soon

It all goes back

To that one day

When you stole

My childhood away

Getting Your End Away

If I
hadn’t
been so
confused,
then.

I
wouldn’t
feel so
used,
now.

(Originally Posted 12.03.2020)

5

Season’s Beatings

I fucking hate Christmas

Just like Christmas hates me

Walking on eggshells all day

Faking smiles around a tree

I learned when I was five

Santa doesn’t deliver for free

That he prefers ‘good little girls’

And the one he favoured that year was me

As an adult I’ve tried to make it better

To erase him from my memory

But I still fucking hate Christmas

Just like Christmas hates me

57

Leaving Home

Just keep on walking

He said

And don’t you ever come back

Just stop fucking talking

She said

You’ve already won this attack

7

Kiss Chase

I looked you up online

Last night

And was disappointed

With what I found

It seems first loves

Almost certainly are

Best left

In the playground

26

Community

If it takes a village to raise a child

Then my neighbours must have been out

Because I pretty much

Dragged myself up

Of that there is no doubt

23

My Lips Are Sealed

Don’t you worry

I will never tell

How much you hurt me

And put me through hell

But not to keep

Your good name intact

But more to ensure

You never come back

14

Growing Pains

Having to
grow up
happens

Whether
you care
for it
or not

And
I do
not
fucking
like it

I do
not
like it
one jot!

10

Fathers

If
we
really
were
your
family

Then
why
the
fuck
did
you
leave?

There’s
no
point
crawling
back
here
now

Begging
for a
reprieve

14

Flashback

The
figure
creeps
around
outside

As I
watch
the
darkness
descend

I lie
there
rigid,
fraught
with fear

As
I know
how this
will
end

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