If You Like

Stitch my wounds, if you like
I want to feel the pain
Don't call me a silly girl
For I'll only do it again

Ask me why, if you like
But you will never understand
The need, the comfort, the urgency
Those scissors close at hand

Leave me here, if you like
Walk away if you dare
Just remember I never asked for your help
Or your tender loving care

Forget I exist, if you like
It will not bother me one bit
For I'll always have my trusty blade
And carry my own first aid kit

(Originally Posted 08.04.2019)

Another Wasted Day

It’s four twenty five in the afternoon and I’m still lying in bed.

Trying, in vain, to sleep away the thoughts inside my head.

Perhaps I should get up and go out for a bracing walk instead.

It has to be better than staying in here and wishing I was dead.

(Originally Posted 22.06.2019)

The Darkness

The darker nights 
Are drawing in,
Not least those
In my heart.

I should stop
Drinking bathtub gin,
Now that would
Be a start.

(Originally Posted 09.04.2019)

This Silent War

I’m trapped inside this silent war

Furiously waving a white flag above my head

But no one seems to care

One day soon

I’ll stop trying

(Originally Posted 14.04.2019)

Cheats Never Prosper

If there’s one thing I’ve learned

It’s that you can’t skip the stages

Even if moving forward

Feels like it’s taking fucking ages

If you jump too far forward

You only fall further back

And all you do is store your pain

For further down the track

‘Slash & Burn’

Skin somewhat healing

Yet I’m still left reeling

As my heart slowly withers

Is there a more appealing

Way of coping with this feeling

Other than by using scissors?

Sown Up

I don’t feel better

I haven’t forgotten

I’ve just stopped telling you

How I feel

Ontology

Who am I now?

What should I do?

Why am I still here?

When I could be with you?

Xxx

Scabs

Picking at these circles

All itchy, bloody and raw

Wondering why

The fuck am I

Doing this shit again for

Unhealthy Choices

Sitting
here
with
nothing
to do

And
yet my
mind is
crowded

This
is when
things
go wrong

When my
judgement
becomes
clouded

Fancily Dressed

I’ve
often
been
tricked

In
my
life

But
rarely
ever
been
treated

So
it
shouldn’t
be

Any
wonder
really

Why
I always
sound so
defeated

Old News

Some
people
may
have
already

But
I can
never
forget

For
even
after
all
this
time

I’m
still
fucked
in the
head

Afflicted

Wandered
around
again
today

With
an all
consuming
sigh

Not
knowing
how to
live

Yet
too
afraid
to die

Growing Pains

Having to
grow up
happens

Whether
you care
for it
or not

And
I do
not
fucking
like it

I do
not
like it
one jot!

Resurrection

If I
were
to see
you
again

I
wouldn’t
know
where
to start

So
perhaps
it’s
best

I lay
here
to
rest

And
nurse
my
broken
heart

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