Tag: dark humour

Still Bitter

I hope that you

Are happy now

And you go to sleep

With a smile

But for me to hope

That she doesn’t choke

Is going to take

A while

8

With A Smile

When all around me

Is falling to shit

I let my stomach hurt

And my sides split

Because I know whatever

Is in my path

Is best to be greeted

With a fucking laugh

2

From The Gallows

I remember,

Once,

He asked me

How I cope

With all these trials

I just use the darkest

Of humours,

I said,

Along with

The wryest of smiles

0

One Or The Other

The urge to bow out

With a bang

Has been never fucking ending

So let’s wait and see

Whether, tomorrow, said spree

Will be a killing or spending

The Spree

I’m
leaving
first
thing
in the
morning

And I’m
unsure
if I’ll
return

For I
have
so
many
scores
to settle

And a
shitload
of bridges
to burn

(Originally Posted 11.02.2020)

0

Making A Killing

Sometimes I read these and wonder

With all my insults and barbs

If I really have missed my calling

Writing alternative greetings cards

Black Letter Days

Are
you
sure
we’re
done
here

He
said

You’ve
got
nothing
more to
say?

Other
than
shove
those
candles
up your
arse

She
said

Oh, and
happy
birthday!

(Originally Posted 10.02.2021)

14

Random #280

‘“In my world, I am constantly torn between killing myself or everyone around me.”

– Ragnar

0

Inside And Out

I hope you don’t

Just mean your hair

But your personality too

For you’ve been such

A miserable cunt

Throughout 2022

A Change Is As Good As A Rest

A
new
year
begins

Bringing
with it a
new look

I really
hope you
like it

Considering
how long
it took

(Originally Posted 01.01.2020)

2

“If You Didn’t Laugh You’d Cry”

Some people must think

My words are so bleak

That they no longer

Wish to scroll

But all I see

With poems like these

Is a humour

As black as coal

‘Mistletoe & Whine’

Just piss
off with your
Christmas shit

All this
Ho, Ho,
Fucking Ho…

Not
everyone
appreciates it

Some of us
are depressed,
you know

(Originally Posted 23.12.2019)

8

Twisted

I actually quite like this one

It makes me laugh each time I read it

Though I do wonder, sometimes,

If there’s enough in my rhymes

For other people to see it

Romeo & Juliet (Alternative Version)

When
you think
about it,
he said,
true love
never dies.

Oh great
she said,
here we go,
another
hapless
fuckwit
to despise.

(Originally Posted 02.10.2019)

10

Random #209

‘Why are you so sarcastic all the time?’

‘Cause it stops me killing people – including myself’

– Tony

2

Dating Advice

“You’d have so much to offer

If you could just proffer

A kindly look their way”

—

“My mouth may be broken

But I do have a shot gun

So I’m sure I’ll be ok”

20

Spare Keys

The idea really

Was never

For you to just come

And go

It was more to ensure

You could open the door

To remove my head

From inside the stove

14

From Under The Bed

Just because you didn’t hear it

She said

Doesn’t mean it didn’t speak

I think perhaps you should discuss it

He said

With your psychiatrist next week

24

Move Over Tony Soprano

If we
went
down
to the
woods
today

There
would
be no
big
surprise

For
you
and
I know

With
just
one
blow

I’d
leave
you
bleeding
between
the eyes

19

Shotgun

At
this
point
I’ll
try
anything

She
said

It
can’t
do any
harm

Then
you
should
take
this
one

He
said

It’ll
work
like a
charm

20

Up ↑