One Or The Other

The urge to bow out

With a bang

Has been never fucking ending

So let’s wait and see

Whether, tomorrow, said spree

Will be a killing or spending

The Spree

I’m
leaving
first
thing
in the
morning

And I’m
unsure
if I’ll
return

For I
have
so
many
scores
to settle

And a
shitload
of bridges
to burn

(Originally Posted 11.02.2020)

11/02/2023 0

Making A Killing

Sometimes I read these and wonder

With all my insults and barbs

If I really have missed my calling

Writing alternative greetings cards

Black Letter Days

Are
you
sure
we’re
done
here

He
said

You’ve
got
nothing
more to
say?

Other
than
shove
those
candles
up your
arse

She
said

Oh, and
happy
birthday!

(Originally Posted 10.02.2021)

10/02/2023 14

Random #280

‘“In my world, I am constantly torn between killing myself or everyone around me.”

– Ragnar

03/02/2023 0

Inside And Out

I hope you don’t

Just mean your hair

But your personality too

For you’ve been such

A miserable cunt

Throughout 2022

A Change Is As Good As A Rest

A
new
year
begins

Bringing
with it a
new look

I really
hope you
like it

Considering
how long
it took

(Originally Posted 01.01.2020)

01/01/2023 2

“If You Didn’t Laugh You’d Cry”

Some people must think

My words are so bleak

That they no longer

Wish to scroll

But all I see

With poems like these

Is a humour

As black as coal

‘Mistletoe & Whine’

Just piss
off with your
Christmas shit

All this
Ho, Ho,
Fucking Ho…

Not
everyone
appreciates it

Some of us
are depressed,
you know

(Originally Posted 23.12.2019)

23/12/2022 8

Twisted

I actually quite like this one

It makes me laugh each time I read it

Though I do wonder, sometimes,

If there’s enough in my rhymes

For other people to see it

Romeo & Juliet (Alternative Version)

When
you think
about it,
he said,
true love
never dies.

Oh great
she said,
here we go,
another
hapless
fuckwit
to despise.

(Originally Posted 02.10.2019)

02/10/2022 10

Random #209

‘Why are you so sarcastic all the time?’

‘Cause it stops me killing people – including myself’

– Tony

10/06/2022 2

Dating Advice

“You’d have so much to offer

If you could just proffer

A kindly look their way”

—

“My mouth may be broken

But I do have a shot gun

So I’m sure I’ll be ok”

13/12/2021 20

Fruitless

I’m done soul searching

I’ve tried my best

And I can’t find it

05/12/2021 20

Spare Keys

The idea really

Was never

For you to just come

And go

It was more to ensure

You could open the door

To remove my head

From inside the stove

30/09/2021 14

From Under The Bed

Just because you didn’t hear it

She said

Doesn’t mean it didn’t speak

I think perhaps you should discuss it

He said

With your psychiatrist next week

21/06/2021 24

Not Quite Out Of The Woods

I didn’t consider

Killing myself today

So that has to be a plus

I did, however,

Consider killing you

So there’s still issues

To discuss

04/05/2021 33

The Scottish Lair

Six
feet
under

Dark
and
gloomy

A
small
voice
whispers

‘Welcome roomie…’

31/10/2020 23

Move Over Tony Soprano

If we
went
down
to the
woods
today

There
would
be no
big
surprise

For
you
and
I know

With
just
one
blow

I’d
leave
you
bleeding
between
the eyes

26/10/2020 19

Shotgun

At
this
point
I’ll
try
anything