Tag: death

“Coping By Not Having To Cope”

When he died

And you’d nothing left

How did you deal

With the emptiness?

I filled it up

With pills and gin

In the vainest of hopes

I could forget him

And did you find

That it worked

They helped wash away

The pain and hurt

Some days did feel

Like less of a chore

But, in the end, the grief

Got too big to ignore

7

Moving

I remember the day

We got the keys

Thinking the rest

Would be a breeze

But now I sit and rot

All alone

In what should have been

Our forever home

6

The Gradual Loss

It seems

The inevitable

Has happened

And I have finally

Gone mad

As I’m starting

To forget

The good things

Instead

Of just the bad

12

Just A Glimpse

When I saw him

Again today

All of that pain

Was washed away

Until I realised

It wasn’t him

And my heart, once more,

Cracked

From within

2

Dragging It Out

Another hour

Another day

Wishing I didn’t

Feel this way

Another second

Another minute

Life sure is shit

Without you in it

Xxx

3

Without A Fuss

Don’t you want to get better?

No, she politely replied

I think folks would be happier

If I just quietly died

4

At The Widows Support Group

Do you ever miss him?

All the time, she said

Each night I cry

Screaming “why?”

As I lay down

In our bed

Do you ever miss him?

Never once, she said

The second he’d gone

I just moved on

To someone else

Instead 

8

Shadows

They say

You are

No longer here

But I see you

Clear as day

I hear you

Talking

In your sleep

As I while

The hours away

They want me

To think

It can’t be true

That I’m mad

And must take

A pill

But I know you

Will never leave

And I am not

Mentally ill

4

Just A Small Town Boy

Yet another

Young life

Gone too soon

More candles lit

And flowers

Now strewn

Lest we forget

What an impact

It has

When the world

Watches on

But ignores red flags

4

Finding The Time

Ah, you’re still here

He said

So you’ve not popped

Your clogs yet?

It’s not for a lack of trying

She said

But the chance

Has been murder to get

2

Caught Sleeping

I knew as soon

As we touched

All wasn’t

What it seemed

Yet it still hurt

My heart

When I woke

With a start

To realise

It was a dream

0

For Clarity

I know

That we

Have

Hardly

Spoken

But my

Insides

Are now

Broken

And what

Is left

Merely

A token

Of the

Woman

I used to be

2

I Miss That More Than Anything

I remember

Driving to see you

In the middle

Of the night

I didn’t want

To talk

I just needed

To feel your might

Because I knew

When you kissed me

You’d wrap your arms

Around me tight

And that you

Would be the one

To make everything

Alright

Xxx

4

Aviemore

As we have found

Where your body has lain

We hope it heals

Your family’s pain

And though they’ll struggle

To see past the rain

Now you can be

Together again

0

Is It Really The Kindest Thing?

The worst is when

All hope is gone

And you know that they

Can’t carry on

When the end is coming

At them hard

And all that’s left

Is wounds and scars

That’s when you wish

They could call it a day

Instead of just watching

Them waste away

4

On A Loop

It doesn’t matter

What you do

Or how many fantasies

You suggest

As nothing can beat

The reality

That plays

Inside my head

4

Fuzzy With Time

Imprint those times

On your mind

As it won’t be long

Before you find

What you remember

When they’re dead

Is the all pointless

Shit instead

4

Rewired

I used to be nice

I used to be kind

Then something happened

That changed my mind

Now I’m angry

Now I’m mean

With very little left

In-between

3

Overcome

Most of the time

I do quite wells

Smile on my face

Everything swell

But when those tears

Decide to fall

The reality is

There’s fuck all

I can do

To save myself

From drowning

0

An Audience Of One

I write a bit

Now you know

Nothing special

Or much to show

But just enough

To get me though

And show how much

I still miss you

0

Our Spot

You took my hand

As we crossed the sand

And I knew then

What I still know now

That’s why I come back here

Every year

To talk to you again

Out loud

0

Getting On With The Job

Why should they rememeber

He said

Every year

When you never even talk

About him here

Well, it’s not like they cared

She said

In the first fucking place

Back when the pain was still written

All over my face

3

Gone

Love him while

You still can

As the hands of death

Wait for no man

2

Recognition

I saw it in

Your eyes that day

I heard it

In your voice

You, like me,

No longer see

Living

As a choice

0

Unplanned

When we said

Goodbye that day

We didn’t know

It would be

Forever

And yet

I’m left

Here alone

With only

Our memories

To treasure

2

Night Nurse

With medications

To administer

And all those wounds

To dress

I think I said

Goodbye to you

Before you even left

Xxx

2

Taken Unawares

I stand at the window

Waiting to see you get off

But the bus whistles past

Without needing to stop

Because, of course,

You never got on

As I remember, with force,

That you are gone

Xxx

2

Burnt Out

Lacking in motivation
Devoid of all desire
Wondering if salvation
Is in the funeral pyre

4

Stolen

You will never be forgiven

For what you took from me

Not just my only lover

But my whole identity

And even though you did it

A near whole five years ago

I am yet to fully recover

Or let my seething anger go

6

Futility

The lights go out

In the blink of an eye

And there’s nothing left

But to say goodbye

0

Widows

We need support

When traumatised

Not to be attacked

Or demonised

Something we wish

That you’d realise

When losing them

Leaves us paralysed

4

Writing The Book On Grief

Now it’s just over

Four years for me

And although

I’ve learned a lot

I still couldn’t claim

I know enough to explain

Or even to give it

A decent shot

Bereavement

Just
when
I think
I’ve got
no tears
left

They
fall
down
my
face
again

Why
the fuck
didn’t
someone
tell
me

How
to
prepare
for all
this
pain

(Originally Posted 19.02.2020)

0

Believing

How I remember

Feeling this way

That nothing again

Would be OK

But now I’ve got

Some feeling back

I see a glimmer of hope

Through the crack

Grieving

Are you
sure it’s
gone

He
said

What
about
love

Compassion?

Make
no
mistake

She
said

I’ve
lost
it all

Her
face,
as it was,
ashen

(Originally Posted 18.02.2020)

0

Premature

I know your heart’s

In the right place

And that deep down

You mean well

But your good intentions

Mean nothing

While I’m trapped

In this hell

Two Cents Worth

It will get better with time

They lied

Before my tears

Had even dried

(Originally Posted 18.02.2020)

4

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