"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
Now it’s just over
Four years for me
And although
I’ve learned a lot
I still couldn’t claim
I know enough to explain
Or even to give it
A decent shot
Bereavement
Just
when
I think
I’ve got
no tears
left
They
fall
down
my
face
again
Why
the fuck
didn’t
someone
tell
me
How
to
prepare
for all
this
pain
(Originally Posted 19.02.2020)
How I remember
Feeling this way
That nothing again
Would be OK
But now I’ve got
Some feeling back
I see a glimmer of hope
Through the crack
Grieving
Are you
sure it’s
gone
He
said
What
about
love
Compassion?
Make
no
mistake
She
said
I’ve
lost
it all
Her
face,
as it was,
ashen
(Originally Posted 18.02.2020)
I know your heart’s
In the right place
And that deep down
You mean well
But your good intentions
Mean nothing
While I’m trapped
In this hell
Two Cents Worth
It will get better with time
They lied
Before my tears
Had even dried
(Originally Posted 18.02.2020)
I took the fact
He listened
As you sending me
A sign
So wherever you are
I hope you know
Your best friend
Is now mine
Xxx
The Soirée
It
was
exactly
One
year
ago
That
we all
sat in
that
tent
But
there
was
only
one
Who
truly
heard
My
broken
hearted
lament
From
that
day
We’ve
kept
in touch
Forging a
connection
of our
own
And
that’s
because
You
chose
us
To
reap
what
you
had
sown
(Originally Posted 16.02.2020)
It’s taken me by surprise
This year
As I thought I’d be OK
Yet I feel utterly desolate
Lying here
Washing my tears away
Xxx
What Should Have Been
Twenty two years
Just me and you
Sitting on the sofa
With wine and food
But it’s not to be
As you’re three years gone
So any romance today
Just feels wrong
Xxx
(Originally Posted 14.02.2022)
There is a tendency
When your partner dies
If thinking back
To romanticise
Every little thing
They ever did or said
To remember nothing wrong
In the years you were wed
But as time rolls by you realise
This wasn’t always the case
And putting them on that pedestal
Is just your grief misplaced
It doesn’t mean you didn’t love them
Or that their death isn’t terrible
But to acknowledge their flaws
Is important because
It makes your life slightly
More bearable
Xxx
Wasted Time
If I regret anything now
It’s all the arguments we had
The silent treatment I gave you
The things I did to make you mad
Now you’re no longer here
I can’t put those wrong things right
And I have no choice but to live with that
For the rest of my fucking life
Xxx
(Originally Posted 14.02.2020)
Hold your partner
Close today
Show them your love
In every way
Because when all this
Is said and done
You’ll fucking miss them
When they’re gone
Xxx
‘Wishing I Was Lucky’
Forever
destined
to be
cold
and
lonely
As
I have
lost
my
one
and
only
Xxx
(Originally Posted 14.02.2020)
At least when it all
Happened to me
I had what I’d call
The luxury
Of only having myself
To pull through this shit
And not have any kids
To help cope with it
Inconceivable
Mind
racing
Legs
pacing
Sheer
disbelief
At what
you’re
facing
(Originally Posted 12.02.2020)
Have faith
In the afterlife
They say
Even just
A little bit
But if all there is
Is coming back to this
Then ‘they’
Can fucking stick it
Over And Over Again
It was always pretty reckless
And possibly quite mad
But I have fallen for you
Over and over again
In each lifetime I’ve had
Xxx
(Originally Posted 07.02.2022)
My heart aches just
That little bit more
As I read this
With a sigh
Remembering the time
With your hand in mine
Crying
We said goodbye
Xxx
‘Everything Must Go’
Don’t
say
anything
else
He
said
Please,
just
hold
my
hand
I’ll
stay
until
we
reach
She
said
Our
line in
the
sand
(Originally Posted 07.02.2020)
I don’t know why
I was spared that day
And he was taken
Instead
But my life
Is hell without him
So I’d still
Be better off dead
Hindsight
If I
could
go back
to that
night
Knowing
what
I now
know
I would
hold you
in my
arms so
tight
And
never
let
you
go
Xxx
(Originally Posted 28.01.2020)
So much changes
When your partner dies
Infinitely more
Than you would ever realise
Soul Bar(e)ing
I mourn
the loss
of us
Even more
than the
loss of
you
(Originally Posted 23.01.2020)
I know you don’t want to hear it
But you can’t run before you can walk
There is no way to beat it
So it’s best to just sit down and talk
Cheats Never Prosper
If there is one thing
I have learned
It’s that you cannot skip
The stages
Even if that means
Moving forward
Feels like it’s taking
Fucking ages
If you jump
Too far forward
You’ll only fall
Further back
And all you’re doing
Is storing your pain
For further
Down the track
(Originally Posted 23.01.2021)
Those oceans feel
A little calmer now
As those days
Have passed me by
So from here
I’ll just tread water
Hoping for help
Before I die
The Drowning Girl
Tears
run into
oceans
Hours
bleed into
days
As I go
through
the motions
Trapped
between
the waves
(Originally Posted 21.01.2021)
It’s such a shame to see
He said
They just never stood a chance
It’s their own fucking fault
He said
For ever believing in romance
In Loving Memory
The girl you knew is gone
She said
Killed by love itself
You don’t need to tell me
He said
For I dug her grave myself
(Originally Posted 18.01.2022)
It may have been me
Who was the one
That was strong enough
For two
But the person I was
The most proud of
In the end
Was you
Xxx
With Me
Your
words
tattooed
on my
brain
Forever
A reminder
of facing
that
pain
Together
(Originally Posted 18.01.2020)
You think that when
Someone dies
It’s the big things
That you’ll miss
But what causes pain
To grieving brain
Is missing the small things
That they did
Even A Broken Clock Is Right Twice A Day
I can’t
even
change
The time
on the
oven
It’s just
one more
thing
I have
discovered
Since
you’ve
gone
(Originally Posted 04.01.2020)
What we did in that room
Despite our gloom
Certainly served its purpose
Now all those things we said
Lying in that bed
Need never again resurface
Unobtainable
Maybe one day we’ll meet again
And maybe one day we won’t
But one things for sure
It won’t be for much more
Than either of us had hoped
(Originally Posted 04.01.2021)
All those years
Spent with you
Silently
Being driven mad
But there’s no denying
(So it’s pointless trying)
That they were the best
I’ve ever had
Taking Things For Granted
I always
thought
being
with you
was hell
Seems
the boredom
of being
without you
is worse
Xxx
(Originally Posted 03.01.2022)
I still loved you
Down to your bones
Even without
Those dulcet tones
Xxx
Robbed
I wish
you
could
have
spoken
Right
at
the
very
end
I’ll
miss
that
sound
forever
The
voice
of my
best
friend
(Originally Posted 03.01.2020)
I know you put
A brave face on
I know as I did it
Myself
Not just because
You’re thinking of others
But more to protect
Yourself
Are You Okay?
I want to ask
But I’m far too scared
For I already know
As into those depths
I’ve stared
(Originally Posted 02.01.2020)
Grief affects everyone
In many different ways
Yet some among us
Prove lucky enough
To escape the daily malaise
Poles Apart
I still cry myself to sleep
Not that you’d know
You selfish creep
You think because
We all lost him
That we both feel the same
But you haven’t got
A fucking clue
Of how I live each day in pain
(Originally Posted 30.12.2020)
There was nothing else
That I could do
Nothing else
That I could say
Other than
To remind them all
That it’s just
Another day
Brutal Honesty
I wish
I could
take
Your
pain
away
Tell
you
everything
Will
be
okay
But
I know
the truth
It
doesn’t
get
better
When
what
you had
Is lost
forever
(Originally Posted 27.12.2019)
I’m not sure
Who suffers more
Those who are
Oblivious
Or those who know
What’s in store
Identity Crisis
In
some
ways
losing
myself
has
been
harder
than
losing
you
(Originally Posted 22.12.2019)
An allegory for so much
This one
Love, life and death
Trying to capture that feeling
When you need to stop
And pause for breath
Keep The Engine Running
Shall
we go
ahead
and jump
He
asked
Now that
we’ve
come
this far?
I’m not
so sure,
anymore,
She
said
Let’s just
get back
in the
car
(Originally Posted 16.12.2019)
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 
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