Writing The Book On Grief

Now it’s just over

Four years for me

And although

I’ve learned a lot

I still couldn’t claim

I know enough to explain

Or even to give it

A decent shot


Bereavement

Just
when
I think
I’ve got
no tears
left

They
fall
down
my
face
again

Why
the fuck
didn’t
someone
tell
me

How
to
prepare
for all
this
pain

(Originally Posted 19.02.2020)

Believing

How I remember

Feeling this way

That nothing again

Would be OK

But now I’ve got

Some feeling back

I see a glimmer of hope

Through the crack


Grieving

Are you
sure it’s
gone

He
said

What
about
love

Compassion?

Make
no
mistake

She
said

I’ve
lost
it all

Her
face,
as it was,
ashen

(Originally Posted 18.02.2020)

Premature

I know your heart’s

In the right place

And that deep down

You mean well

But your good intentions

Mean nothing

While I’m trapped

In this hell


Two Cents Worth

It will get better with time

They lied

Before my tears

Had even dried

(Originally Posted 18.02.2020)

Kismet

I took the fact

He listened

As you sending me

A sign

So wherever you are

I hope you know

Your best friend

Is now mine

Xxx


The Soirée

It
was
exactly

One
year
ago

That
we all
sat in
that
tent

But
there
was
only
one

Who
truly
heard

My
broken
hearted
lament

From
that
day

We’ve
kept
in touch

Forging a
connection
of our
own

And
that’s
because

You
chose
us

To
reap
what
you
had
sown

(Originally Posted 16.02.2020)

Joyeux Anniversaire

It’s taken me by surprise

This year

As I thought I’d be OK

Yet I feel utterly desolate

Lying here

Washing my tears away

Xxx


What Should Have Been

Twenty two years

Just me and you

Sitting on the sofa

With wine and food

But it’s not to be

As you’re three years gone

So any romance today

Just feels wrong

Xxx

(Originally Posted 14.02.2022)

Each Rose Has Its Thorns

There is a tendency

When your partner dies

If thinking back

To romanticise

Every little thing

They ever did or said

To remember nothing wrong

In the years you were wed

But as time rolls by you realise

This wasn’t always the case

And putting them on that pedestal

Is just your grief misplaced

It doesn’t mean you didn’t love them

Or that their death isn’t terrible

But to acknowledge their flaws

Is important because

It makes your life slightly

More bearable

Xxx


Wasted Time

If I regret anything now

It’s all the arguments we had

The silent treatment I gave you

The things I did to make you mad

Now you’re no longer here

I can’t put those wrong things right

And I have no choice but to live with that

For the rest of my fucking life

Xxx

(Originally Posted 14.02.2020)

Trust Me

Hold your partner

Close today

Show them your love

In every way

Because when all this

Is said and done

You’ll fucking miss them

When they’re gone

Xxx


‘Wishing I Was Lucky’

Forever
destined
to be
cold
and
lonely

As
I have
lost
my
one
and
only

Xxx

(Originally Posted 14.02.2020)

A Braver Man Than Me

At least when it all

Happened to me

I had what I’d call

The luxury

Of only having myself

To pull through this shit

And not have any kids

To help cope with it


Inconceivable

Mind
racing

Legs
pacing

Sheer
disbelief

At what
you’re
facing

(Originally Posted 12.02.2020)

Infinitely, No

Have faith

In the afterlife

They say

Even just

A little bit

But if all there is

Is coming back to this

Then ‘they’

Can fucking stick it


Over And Over Again

It was always pretty reckless

And possibly quite mad

But I have fallen for you

Over and over again

In each lifetime I’ve had

Xxx

(Originally Posted 07.02.2022)

It Doesn’t Take Much

My heart aches just

That little bit more

As I read this

With a sigh

Remembering the time

With your hand in mine

Crying

We said goodbye

Xxx


‘Everything Must Go’

Don’t
say
anything
else

He
said

Please,
just
hold
my
hand

I’ll
stay
until
we
reach

She
said

Our
line in
the
sand

(Originally Posted 07.02.2020)

Regardless

I don’t know why

I was spared that day

And he was taken

Instead

But my life

Is hell without him

So I’d still

Be better off dead


Hindsight

If I
could
go back
to that
night

Knowing
what
I now
know

I would
hold you
in my
arms so
tight

And
never
let
you
go

Xxx

(Originally Posted 28.01.2020)

Uproar

So much changes

When your partner dies

Infinitely more

Than you would ever realise


Soul Bar(e)ing

I mourn
the loss
of us

Even more
than the
loss of
you

(Originally Posted 23.01.2020)

The Grief Counsellor

I know you don’t want to hear it

But you can’t run before you can walk

There is no way to beat it

So it’s best to just sit down and talk


Cheats Never Prosper

If there is one thing

I have learned

It’s that you cannot skip

The stages

Even if that means

Moving forward

Feels like it’s taking

Fucking ages

If you jump

Too far forward

You’ll only fall

Further back

And all you’re doing

Is storing your pain

For further

Down the track

(Originally Posted 23.01.2021)

Save Me

Those oceans feel

A little calmer now

As those days

Have passed me by

So from here

I’ll just tread water

Hoping for help

Before I die


The Drowning Girl

Tears
run into
oceans

Hours
bleed into
days

As I go
through
the motions

Trapped
between
the waves

(Originally Posted 21.01.2021)

‘At The Cemetery Gates’

It’s such a shame to see

He said

They just never stood a chance

It’s their own fucking fault

He said

For ever believing in romance


In Loving Memory

The girl you knew is gone

She said

Killed by love itself

You don’t need to tell me

He said

For I dug her grave myself

(Originally Posted 18.01.2022)

Defiant

It may have been me

Who was the one

That was strong enough

For two

But the person I was

The most proud of

In the end

Was you

Xxx


With Me

Your
words
tattooed
on my
brain

Forever

A reminder
of facing
that
pain

Together

(Originally Posted 18.01.2020)

Minutiae

You think that when

Someone dies

It’s the big things

That you’ll miss

But what causes pain

To grieving brain

Is missing the small things

That they did


Even A Broken Clock Is Right Twice A Day

I can’t
even
change

The time
on the
oven

It’s just
one more
thing

I have
discovered

Since
you’ve
gone

(Originally Posted 04.01.2020)

Hush

What we did in that room

Despite our gloom

Certainly served its purpose

Now all those things we said

Lying in that bed

Need never again resurface


Unobtainable

Maybe one day we’ll meet again

And maybe one day we won’t

But one things for sure

It won’t be for much more

Than either of us had hoped

(Originally Posted 04.01.2021)

Living On The Edge

All those years

Spent with you

Silently

Being driven mad

But there’s no denying

(So it’s pointless trying)

That they were the best

I’ve ever had


Taking Things For Granted

I always
thought
being
with you
was hell

Seems
the boredom
of being
without you
is worse

Xxx

(Originally Posted 03.01.2022)

Jusqu’à La Fin

I still loved you

Down to your bones

Even without

Those dulcet tones

Xxx


Robbed

I wish
you
could
have
spoken

Right
at
the
very
end

I’ll
miss
that
sound
forever

The
voice
of my
best
friend

(Originally Posted 03.01.2020)

Getting By

I know you put

A brave face on

I know as I did it

Myself

Not just because

You’re thinking of others

But more to protect

Yourself


Are You Okay?

I want to ask

But I’m far too scared

For I already know

As into those depths

I’ve stared

(Originally Posted 02.01.2020)

Getting Off Lightly

Grief affects everyone

In many different ways

Yet some among us

Prove lucky enough

To escape the daily malaise


Poles Apart

I still cry myself to sleep

Not that you’d know

You selfish creep

You think because

We all lost him

That we both feel the same

But you haven’t got

A fucking clue

Of how I live each day in pain

(Originally Posted 30.12.2020)

Firsts

There was nothing else

That I could do

Nothing else

That I could say

Other than

To remind them all

That it’s just

Another day


Brutal Honesty

I wish
I could
take

Your
pain
away

Tell
you
everything

Will
be
okay

But
I know
the truth

It
doesn’t
get
better

When
what
you had

Is lost
forever

(Originally Posted 27.12.2019)

Terminal

I’m not sure
Who suffers more
Those who are
Oblivious
Or those who know
What’s in store


Identity Crisis

In
some
ways
losing
myself
has
been
harder
than
losing
you

(Originally Posted 22.12.2019)

Qualms

An allegory for so much

This one

Love, life and death

Trying to capture that feeling

When you need to stop

And pause for breath


Keep The Engine Running

Shall
we go
ahead
and jump

He
asked

Now that
we’ve
come
this far?

I’m not
so sure,
anymore,

She
said

Let’s just
get back
in the
car

(Originally Posted 16.12.2019)

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