The longer I live
With a broken heart
The more I think dying
Was the easier part
"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
The longer I live
With a broken heart
The more I think dying
Was the easier part
From over the hills
And far away
Your spirit calls me
Every day
It doesn’t matter
What you do
Or how many fantasies
You suggest
As nothing can beat
The reality
That plays
Inside my head
I know
What they say
But it’s simply
Not true
Because at the end
Of the day
There’s no one
Like you
It’s not
Just what
It took
From you
But it’s what
Was robbed
From me too
Imprint those times
On your mind
As it won’t be long
Before you find
What you remember
When they’re dead
Is the all pointless
Shit instead
After all
Is said and done
I’m still devastated
That you’re gone
Xxx
Time may heal
But it kills too
I know that now,
Without you
Dealing with loss is hard
He said
Thinking that he’d really tried
It’s not like I lost him
She said
He actually fucking died
I used to be nice
I used to be kind
Then something happened
That changed my mind
Now I’m angry
Now I’m mean
With very little left
In-between
Most of the time
I do quite wells
Smile on my face
Everything swell
But when those tears
Decide to fall
The reality is
There’s fuck all
I can do
To save myself
From drowning
I write a bit
Now you know
Nothing special
Or much to show
But just enough
To get me though
And show how much
I still miss you
You took my hand
As we crossed the sand
And I knew then
What I still know now
That’s why I come back here
Every year
To talk to you again
Out loud
Why should they rememeber
He said
Every year
When you never even talk
About him here
Well, it’s not like they cared
She said
In the first fucking place
Back when the pain was still written
All over my face
Love him while
You still can
As the hands of death
Wait for no man
I saw it in
Your eyes that day
I heard it
In your voice
You, like me,
No longer see
Living
As a choice
I don’t know if I
Can see this through
As it’s all so empty
Without you
When we said
Goodbye that day
We didn’t know
It would be
Forever
And yet
I’m left
Here alone
With only
Our memories
To treasure
With medications
To administer
And all those wounds
To dress
I think I said
Goodbye to you
Before you even left
Xxx
I stand at the window
Waiting to see you get off
But the bus whistles past
Without needing to stop
Because, of course,
You never got on
As I remember, with force,
That you are gone
Xxx
It all happened
In a flash
And now
I know
There’s no
Going back
Lacking in motivation
Devoid of all desire
Wondering if salvation
Is in the funeral pyre
I saw you sit
At the platform today
And I cried as my train
Pulled away
You will never be forgiven
For what you took from me
Not just my only lover
But my whole identity
And even though you did it
A near whole five years ago
I am yet to fully recover
Or let my seething anger go
The lights go out
In the blink of an eye
And there’s nothing left
But to say goodbye
You think you get it
But you never could
Because at his bedside
You never stood
We need support
When traumatised
Not to be attacked
Or demonised
Something we wish
That you’d realise
When losing them
Leaves us paralysed
Time’s tide
Is unforgiving
Not for the dead
But upon the living
What was the worst thing
They asked
About watching him die
The hope
He’d get better
She replied
Now it’s just over
Four years for me
And although
I’ve learned a lot
I still couldn’t claim
I know enough to explain
Or even to give it
A decent shot
Bereavement
Just
when
I think
I’ve got
no tears
left
They
fall
down
my
face
again
Why
the fuck
didn’t
someone
tell
me
How
to
prepare
for all
this
pain
(Originally Posted 19.02.2020)
How I remember
Feeling this way
That nothing again
Would be OK
But now I’ve got
Some feeling back
I see a glimmer of hope
Through the crack
Grieving
Are you
sure it’s
gone
He
said
What
about
love
Compassion?
Make
no
mistake
She
said
I’ve
lost
it all
Her
face,
as it was,
ashen
(Originally Posted 18.02.2020)
You must be logged in to post a comment.