I really did love you, you know
I wish I’d told you so before
And now you’re gone
Nothing can be done
But to regret it
Forevermore
Xxx
"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
I really did love you, you know
I wish I’d told you so before
And now you’re gone
Nothing can be done
But to regret it
Forevermore
Xxx
‘I get along without you very well,
Of course I do.
Except perhaps in spring.
But I should never think of spring,
For that would surely break my heart in two’
‘The Young Man came to the Old Man seeking counsel.
I broke something, Old Man.
How badly is it broken?
It’s in a million little pieces.
I’m afraid I can’t help you.
Why?
There’s nothing you can do.
Why?
It can’t be fixed.
Why?
It’s broken beyond repair. It’s in a million little pieces.’
– James Frey
Walk down the aisle with me?
She said
The bakery aisle, that is
I thought you were being serious
He said
And my heart just skipped a beat
Xxx
Nearly twenty years together
And what do I have to show
Just a blackened heart
Now we’re three years apart
And sadness the status quo
Xxx
I wouldn’t thank you
For diamonds
And I don’t care
About pearls
I couldn’t give
Less of a shit
For all the stars
In the world
I just want you
Back here with me
If only
For a minute
For my life
Has lost it’s sparkle
Without you
Still in it
Xxx
I always thought
We’d empty the bucket
Before you actually
Kicked it
Xxx
I guess I should be better now
Is that what you’re trying to say
I should be all sweetness and light
Having locked the darkness away
Well I’m sorry to disappoint you
But that’s not how this shit works
Time doesn’t heal all wounds
In fact it makes it worse
See whilst the world moves itself on
I fall further and further behind
For the pain of his loss is lifelong
And to that I am resigned
Xxx
I was thinking
Earlier on today
How it really
Would be nice
To go at least
One day
Without
Your bullshit advice
Once upon a time
When I was ill
I truly believed
That this was it
I couldn’t see
Anything else for me
But another day
Drowning in shit
But now life is better
I have found
And I can finally
See a plan
So it is time
To return that rope
As quickly
As I can
I don’t have to say it
You already know what I mean
Let’s to go to bed
To forget that he’s dead
And everything else in between
They’re always there
Behind my eyes
Just waiting
For their time to pour
Anything and everything
Can set them free
With no reason why
Or even wherefore
‘The trouble is,
You think you have time’
– Bhudda
Things are fine
Most of the time
I quite forget
That you even got ill
But then I’ll drink wine
And from nowhere, time
Once again
Stands still
Xxx
It’s funny how
The world went on
Like it didn’t miss
The fact you’d gone
Xxx
Today is going to be hard,
I know,
But that is why I’m here.
To eat, drink and smoke
With you
And wipe away your tears.
Xxx
It’s better that I’m alone
With only the sound of the sea
Living up here is, after all,
Where I was always meant to be
Xxx
He said that he
Would be back next week
As he packed a bag
And kissed my cheek
If only you’d seen
What these eyes have seen
Perhaps then
You could understand
If it was you crying
As he lay dying
You’d know why I made
That demand
I’ve never felt
More alone
Than I do now
In my own home
I wish I could sleep forever
As silly as that seems
For then we’d be together
Happy, in my dreams
As I sat hoping
It wasn’t true
My heart bled out
Waiting for you
From all the articles I’ve found
And the many tips I’ve read
There’s no plan of attack
To win your lover back
When he is cold and dead
You’re OK
You know
Most days
You just get on
With things
Then suddenly
Out of nowhere
It hits you
At the foot
Of the stairs
And you weep
As you realise
Most days
Will never
Be the same
Again
Remember when I told you
I wished that I was dead
And you thought it was all
Just nonsense in my head
Well maybe now you’ll realise
You will finally get to see
The worst thing that you ever did
Was not to believe me
I haven’t slept
On that side
Even after
All this time
It will forever
Lie empty
As it’s yours
Not mine
Xxx
How on earth do you cope
He asked
With all the loneliness
You don’t have any choice
She said
When you’ve got no one left
It’s like reading
Someone else’s words
Listening
To someone else’s story
But the heartache
And the pain
That’s still all mine
The world didn’t stop
But I did
You all carried on
While I went and hid
We were friends
Before we were lovers
And that’s what I miss
The most
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